Backstage - OOC Forums

EVE-Online RP Discussion and Resources => EVE Fiction + Fiction discussion => Topic started by: Katrina Oniseki on 25 Jan 2013, 21:57

Title: Snake Oil
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 25 Jan 2013, 21:57: image source (http://artboy1213.deviantart.com/art/YELLOW-281826610)
(http://i.imgur.com/ftqDGe0.jpg)

Snake Oil

Okay, you know about snake oil right? It means some sort of cure-all remedy, one sold at a high price, and one that doesn't work. It's a scam. It's something people in cheap used suits talk about, walking around with scuffed shoes and overgreased hair, trying to hustle you everywhere in the Federation. It's something you quickly learn to recognize and avoid. Slaver hound testicles, ground furrier beak, spent biomass, rusted shavings, dirt from Athra itself, or even protein delicacies re-branded under a different name. I've seen it all.

I'm telling you, I'm nothing special. I run my own small business, selling street food in New Hueromont. It's good food, you know... bangers and mash with all the sauces you could want. You should stop by sometime. Spent half my savings buying a new cooking cart too, but it was worth it. I make a good living, I live in a pretty meager apartment... I don't want for much.

I also have type 1 diabetes.

Yeah, I found out when I was 13. I was taking a math test when I got pulled out of class, thinking hey this is awesome! No test! Yeah well, I listened to my mother and father sit down with me in the doctor's office while they explained what it meant. I'd have to take medicine every day for the rest of my life, or I'd die. I was terrified when they told me, because believe me... I hated shots. Those jet injectors they use freak me out... shoots the medicine right through your skin. They remind me of guns, and I hate those too.

Life went on as normal, except for having to get my fix every now and then. I had girlfriends, I went through college, I drank until I threw up. Typical childhood, you know? I tried my hand at working for FedMart. Had a cushy job under them, with health insurance too. It was pretty great, at the time, but I couldn't take the office life anymore. I needed to be outdoors. So, I started my own business, like I told you. Except the problem was that I did't have insurance anymore. I could afford the insurance... but I could't afford to apply for it. Green tape, they call it. It's like red tape, but it costs money to get through. Green money. Federation money.

So one day, this man in a crooked suit missing one button walks up to me. He's got a smile on his face. He orders two bangers, no mash, extra mustard on them. While I'm fixing it, he's staring at me with that pale thin smile of his and beady brown eyes sunken into his head. I hand him the food, and tell him his suit is missing a button.

"I know," he replies casually in this odd voice.

I ask him what his name is, and he tells me his name is Mister Button. I figure that was a jab at my rude comment, or something, so I just shrug it off. He tells me he's a salesman, and I'm thinking... okay, not bad. I'm a salesman too. I sell bangers and mash. He puts his business card on my cart. It says "Button Solutions" on it.

"Call me when you need more," he tells me, then turns and walks away.

I didn't have a clue what the hell he was talking about. He's the one that ordered bangers, not me, and I sure as hell don't need buttons! I told him he's always welcome to come back when he wants more, and he just laughed like I told him the funniest joke ever. Funny guy, I guess.

So anyways, a couple months later, I still don't have insurance, and my savings are gone. I can't afford more insulin, and I don't have a fucking clue how to get more. I start panicking. I ask my friends, my family, my ex wife. They all tell me I should have kept my job at FedMart. Thanks, real helpful. I call social services, and they tell me they can't help with the application process. Also helpful, right?

True, I could go to the emergency room when I have an attack. I'd get free insulin, and I technically could just pay off the bills with my money... but that's a ridiculous drain on my finances, and I'm not going to walk in like some homeless guy begging for a fix. Anyways, it's at this point that I figure I might as well call some people I haven't tried before. I call my dry cleaner, I call my mechanic, I call my old flame, landlady, even my reclusive Caldari neighbor next door. Nothing. Then I call Mr. Button, and I tell him what's going on. I ask him for a little cash to get me through the month, and that I could pay him back later.

"Meet me on the corner of 501st and Durelante Avenue," and he hangs up.

Well that's creepy. So, without much to lose, I meet him on the street corner. I start to thank him for the loan, and promise him I'd pay him back later. Instead of handing me a wad of cash though, this guy hands me a pack of insulin. Enough for the week. He tells me this one is free... and he can get me more at insured prices. When I try to explain to him that I don't have insurance, he chuckles and tells me yes I do, with him. This guy should be called Mr. Creeper.

So for the next six months, I'm getting my insulin from him. I pay him about fourty creds a pouch, which is only a little higher than I was paying with FedMart. Life returns to normal, until one day he's not there. I try again the next day, and the day after that, but he never shows up. On the news, I see a report about a major police raid on a Serpentis drug ring operating here in New Hueromont, and I'm thinking... wow. Go green, right? Then I see his face on the holocapture of him being led into a squad car.

That's when I found out he's Serpentis. That's the first time I found out, I promise you. I didn't know before that... but you know what? I don't care. I pay my taxes, I feed the public, I'm a good citizen. I do my part, and I don't cause any trouble. You're thinking Serpentis is bad for me, but guess what? They gave me what I needed at a reasonable price, and didn't ask any questions. They didn't need me to fill out twenty freaking billion forms just to get insurance. I give them money, they give me medicine.

The funny thing is that people call them snakes, because of their name. Serpentis. I get it. Snakes. But here's the shit of it. It's you, Detective. You represent a system that sells real snake oil... not them. You want me to die because I didn't have twenty grand to apply for a business insurance license. Because I couldn't afford to set up my own insurance program, because I happen to run my own fucking business. I can't get personal insurance, because I sell fucking bangers and fucking mash on the fucking street. I guess I'm too dangerous a corporate entity to get my own goddamn insurance, huh?! Wouldn't want me breaking the system!

Hey, where you going, Detective?!

Hey!

I'M NOT FINISHED!
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Sakaane Eionell on 25 Jan 2013, 23:02: Well done Kat. Creepy art is creepy. The ending is great too. :)
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Jev North on 26 Jan 2013, 04:30: Very nice. :3
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Saede Riordan on 26 Jan 2013, 11:43: KAT STAHP

SAVE SOME AWESOME FOR THE REST OF US
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Syagrius on 26 Jan 2013, 14:04: I really liked this one, duality used for good effect, is right always good, is wrong always evil. Nice story.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: hellgremlin on 26 Jan 2013, 15:42: I like it. One quibble... diabetes. That word takes me instantly out of the Eve universe, and back into the 20th century. Perhaps create a "syndrome" or something which requires "solution X" to treat, instead of diabetes and insulin. I'm not saying it can't be diabetes, I just don't think they'd call it the same thing.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Vincent Pryce on 26 Jan 2013, 16:23: Fucken loved it.

Unlike Istvaan it actually made me more in touch with the character since the diabetes bit is something you recognize and understand, that small hook to keep you down to earth and make it personal. I guess it's a personal taste :)

Awesome work, Kat.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Jev North on 26 Jan 2013, 16:35: I'd have called it congenital instead of type I, just to keep the details a little removed from the real world, but that's just about the only criticism I have. :cube:
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 26 Jan 2013, 20:55: I struggled with the choice to use diabetes or pick something made up. I felt that if I made up a disease, it wouldn't have the proper impact and sense of 'weight' unless I went off topic to describe what the disease is.

I knew going in that diabetes wasn't the best choice, but I felt it was well known and dangerous enough yet not "OMG CANCER" dramatic. Something common that the character could live with, provided the right treatment.

In the end, I settled with diabetes, but it was a hard choice.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Sepherim on 26 Jan 2013, 22:12: I loved it. But I too agree it shouldn't have been diabetes, one would expect that after so many centuries, the disease would have found a proper treatment (like any current disease, actually).
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Matoko on 26 Jan 2013, 22:26: There may very well -be- a proper treatment. That being said, given our POV character here could barely afford insulin to keep his condition in check, the outright cure may have eluded his monetary means.

And before the issue is brought up, it could be possible for FedMart to have had access to said cure for cheap, but it never seemed like an important enough issue to fill out paperwork, go in for the therapy, save up for the procedure, etc. And then our hero quits, the health benefit option slipping his mind.

I'll go ahead and echo what Vincent said; making it something everyone knows about gives it more weight. Even if you don't have it, most folks at least know of it. Whereas with something made up, you'd have to explain what said disease was to get the proper emotional impact. And that just breaks up the pacing.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Lyn Farel on 27 Jan 2013, 04:41: I agree with Istvaan, to me it actually gives the whole story a lot less weight since it reminds me of :RL:. A fictionnal disease with the same kind of results, as long as you explain what those are, would have worked better imho. The subtlelty would have been to make people think to diabete eventually. That's what pulls the emotionnal strings of the reader.

But directly refering to it kindof spoils that effect.

And there are many ways to explain in a few single allusions what the results are. Like refering to the death of a friend or relative due to lack of treatment (as opposed to consciously describing it like in a documentary about the disease).

I like it very much though. Especially Mr Button
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Arnulf Ogunkoya on 27 Jan 2013, 05:55: I can't agree with this notion that referencing a real conditions breaks immersion.

Fiction speaks of characters doing all sorts of things that real people do and that doesn't, so why this one detail?

As for finding a cure. Sure, that would be possible. But what sort of motivation would there be for a medical corporation to deprive itself of so many long-term customers?
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Saede Riordan on 27 Jan 2013, 07:04: Quote from: Arnulf Ogunkoya on 27 Jan 2013, 05:55
I can't agree with this notion that referencing a real conditions breaks immersion.

Fiction speaks of characters doing all sorts of things that real people do and that doesn't, so why this one detail?

As for finding a cure. Sure, that would be possible. But what sort of motivation would there be for a medical corporation to deprive itself of so many long-term customers?

this gets into that whole 'our characters don't speak english' thing

I liked, I thought the use of a real condition made it much more real and relatable.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Lyn Farel on 27 Jan 2013, 07:52: Quote from: Arnulf Ogunkoya on 27 Jan 2013, 05:55
Fiction speaks of characters doing all sorts of things that real people do and that doesn't, so why this one detail?

Eve fiction doesn't speak of what real people do and do not, Eve fiction speak of what New Eden people do and do not. That may be more or less similar, and almost exactly identical in some situations, but it doesnt mean that is the same.

There is a reason Quafe is called Quafe and not Coke.

Quote from: Saede Riordan on 27 Jan 2013, 07:04

this gets into that whole 'our characters don't speak english' thing

I liked, I thought the use of a real condition made it much more real and relatable.

It makes it less real for me since it feels more stretched.

It makes it less relatable either since it directly forces me to relate to a specific kind of RL disease. A specified and detailed disease was not mandatory for that story, I would even argue that as said above, the story didn't ask for many details on that or it would have been counterproductive. Who cares what the disease is about ? The only important part is that the disease is not lethal as long as you take your medication. Diabete is not the only one falling into that category, and every piece of fiction portraying such a disease would immediatly relate to diabete, or else, in the mind of the reader.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Sepherim on 27 Jan 2013, 09:45: I agree with Lyn. You could have simply stated:

"I also have type 1 horiditis."

The explanation on the shots or death and all the rest that the desease requires is already explained in detail in the next paragraph, which could be left just exactly as it is and would give all the needed background on the disease.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Jev North on 27 Jan 2013, 11:18: Quafe is not called "Coca-Cola" for good reasons - the unlikelihood of the Coca-Cola Company surviving thousands of milennia, with a few collapses of civilization throughout.

But future spacepeople, given that they're just ordinary humans except where noted otherwise, might still be unlucky enough to get diabetes; why not call that spade a spade?

Plus, I get the perverse sense that if she would have used a different name, people might have complained about how jarring it is that this "horoditis" is just diabetes with the serial numbers filed off for no good reason.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Sepherim on 27 Jan 2013, 11:55: To a degree you are right Jev, it never rains to everybody's liking, as they say here.

As for diabetes remaining a threat more than 20000 years in the future... I find it unlikely. Take a look at the last 500 years of medical advancement and you'll see most diseases were erradicated, and new ones appeared. And this only with medical treatment. Now imagine the limits of a genetic and cybernetic technology so advanced as the one in EVE: we could create/clone an organ of the same person that produces insuline, or the person could have a simple implant that stimulates the creation of it by the body, or whatever.

New diseases appear each time medical science advances, but old ones are slowly left behind in exchange.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Matoko on 27 Jan 2013, 12:32: This is true, but again; how much would a cure like that cost? Given our hero is not exactly the richest Gallentian out there, maybe he could never just afford it.

Besides, while I agree with the sentiment of "we'd have cured diabetes" in general, I'm with Jev on this. For a longer story, where the disease in question is important, making up some Eve-specific thing would make sense. But because it's a short story, breaking the narrative (especially since it's first person; you wouldn't have to explain "horoditis" to a cop) would impact the flow.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Vincent Pryce on 27 Jan 2013, 13:15: Just gonna leave this here.
[spoiler](http://i691.photobucket.com/albums/vv277/OrdoKyrel/Fanfest%202011/IMAG0197.jpg)[/spoiler]
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 27 Jan 2013, 14:44: I'm glad to see this has sparked so much discussion!

I firmly believe that both type 1 and typ2 diabetes would still be an issue in New Eden. Type 2 diabetes results from poor dietary habits, obesity, and other lifestyle factors. All three of those are probably an issue within the Federation more than anywhere else, thanks to their focus on personal liberties and pleasure. Keep in mind Quafe is a VERY popular sugar drink, Karsoth was morbidly obese, and with the proliferation of drones and automation people would be less likely to do hard labor themselves.

Type 1 diabetes is genetic in nature, IIRC. Unless the Federation has been practicing eugenics (or the Terrans before them), it would likely still be around. Since we have no evidence to suggest such an assumption, we should default to thinking it's still around.
Title: Re: Snake Oil
Post by: Lyn Farel on 27 Jan 2013, 15:35: It wasnt in my intention to bring the subject of the plausibility of diabete in New Eden. Maybe, maybe not, and I frankly do not care a lot.

I am not sure how to express it better, it just sounds weird to me here. Kind of out of place. I suppose my feeling is not very rational in the end.

But I don't see at all how it would impact the flow since there would literally be nothing to add.