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EVE-Online RP Discussion and Resources => EVE Fiction + Fiction discussion => Topic started by: Katrina Oniseki on 13 Jan 2013, 14:50

Title: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 13 Jan 2013, 14:50
image source (http://flyingdebris.deviantart.com/art/Download-32535546)
(http://i.imgur.com/onpJa.jpg)

Your Biggest Fan

The Intergalactic Summit. Meeting place of the demigods, they call it. A place where the cluster's most powerful and least controlled can make statements both humble and grandiose. It is a rare glimpse into the minds of those who're unbound. Yet the hundreds of thousands of capsuleers who frequent that place are not the only ones watching. Across entire worlds and nations are the contents of this forum syndicated for public viewing.

Juni DuGaulle is a fourteen year old girl living in the city of Gerardeiu, Ansone III. She's never been off her homeworld. She's never even been to the local spaceport. She's a normal schoolgirl with a boyfriend, homework, parents who irritate her, and the typical drama endemic to all teenagers. She's also a GalNet addict.

Spending most of her free time at home, she turns on her computer and stays awake until the wee hours of the morning reading pirated downloads of the IGS. Fascinated by capsuleers and how similar their arguments appear to those she has at school, it's something of a validation for her. It validates her feelings that... just because you're grown up or successful doesn't mean you don't have to stop acting like a child. Her parents tell her every day to study hard and stop busying herself with boyfriends and video games... but she knows better. Those forums she comes home to read only prove to her that it's okay to be who she is.

To this Gallentean girl, the IGS means personal liberty.

Amran Jarad is a Khanid born Paladin in the Imperial military. He's nothing special to note... just a man who stands guard at a local chapel five days a week. The only Paladin assigned this duty, he doesn't have anybody to really talk to. Not that he'd want to talk to anybody anyways... most people bore him with their mundane stories of how their day went, or what their wife did, or whatever. But something does interest him deeply: The Scriptures.

While it's stereotypical to think of a citizen of the Empire who's obsessed with the Scriptures, Amran is a little different. He never really cared about the Scriptures as a child. Sure, he went to church and he did his duty to God as his parents saw fit. He even signed on to the military because of this sense of duty to God... but he never really believed in it.

Every day he stands there outside the chapel doors. Sometimes in the rain, sometimes in the snow, sometimes in the blistering summer heat. He stands there, and he listens to the priest inside give his sermons. He stands there and he thinks about these sermons, and how little they make sense... how much they contradict. He figures he gets it more than anyone else... he figures he understands the conspiracy behind it all

So when he gets home, he turns on his computer and logs into his subscription IGS access account. It's not the demagogic posts of PIE or CVA that draws his attention. It's not the local favorite - Father Vaari, as he is known - that takes his interest. No, it's the strong debates on religion fought between believers and heretic. It's people like a strange man called "Stitcher" that really make him listen. He figures he's got a connection with this Caldari... the two would be great friends, he likes to think. They both understand the hypocrisy of The Scriptures.

To this Khanid soldier, the IGS means truth.

Oiito Raatorisakku is an assembly line worker. He works seventy hours for every seven days of his life in the factory. Doing his duty for the State, he makes sure that every day he manages to drag his feet back home, he has given every ounce of effort left in him for the State. He doesn't boast about how much he supports the State. He doesn't beat his chest or argue with bystanders. He doesn't even feel particularly proud of himself or like he's anything important. He recognizes he is a cog in a greater machine, and good cogs don't make noise. He doesn't live like this because he wants to... he lives like this because that's what everyone else does. Well... almost everyone else at least.

Oiito spends half his monthly pay on one bill alone. Subscription access to the IGS. Provided by his corporation NOH, he is one of the lucky few in the State allowed uncensored access to this venue of information. This freedom of information comes at a price though. Because of this subscription, he's been passed over for promotion five times in the last ten years. His employers feel he is too great a risk, because he knows too much. He's seen too much. He tried cancelling his subscription once he realized it was the cause... but it's too late. Oiito hates the IGS... but not because it isn't worth the money. Not because he's been passed over for promotion. No, he hates it for a different reason.

Every night, this balding Civire line worker reads the same thing. He sees the same thing. Caldari who've forgotten what they are. He sees ego and hubris, pride beyond what's earned. He sees capsuleers who talk too much with fickle loyalties to their corporations. He finds disgust in the IGS, disgust at those sent out among the stars who speak on his behalf. How dare they speak on his behalf! Oiito knows a good worker stays quiet. These ones do not.

To this Caldari worker, the IGS means hypocrisy.

Skonotta Eijofur has never heard of the IGS. She lives in the slums of a Matari village. She wasn't a slave, no. She was a farmer many years ago. She worked the land and felt the dirt under her fingernails each day under the hot sun. It wasn't a particularly good job, but it made her feel worthwhile. That was until the freed slaves began to arrive. Men and women willing to work the same land for much less. She lost her job.

She's never heard of the IGS, because it's not even available on her planet. She's never heard of Elsebeth Rhiannon, or Ava Starfire, or Ushra'Khan. She's never heard of the terrible and wonderful things done ostensibly on her behalf. She doesn't have a reason to hate those she feels don't do enough to help people like herself, and she has no reason to praise those who actually do fight for people like herself. She has absolutely no idea the IGS even exists... because in her life, it does not.

To this Minmatar woman, the IGS means nothing.

Across the entire cluster, the IGS has become a symbol for some people, and a blight on others. It's a dangerous tool of uncontrolled opinion, and a monument of hope for those with subversive ideas stuck deep down in their heads. Every day, capsuleers with both nationalist and selfish motivations post on this forum. Every day, they reach out to each other and the cluster at large with these visions of past, present, and future.

Little do these demigods know what the rest of the cluster really thinks of them.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Ava Starfire on 13 Jan 2013, 15:48
10/10.

Amazing.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Sakaane Eionell on 13 Jan 2013, 16:32
Yes, amazing. Wow. Just wow.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Jev North on 13 Jan 2013, 18:29
Even better than the previous piece. Chronicle material - seriously. Send it in!
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: John Revenent on 13 Jan 2013, 18:35
Haz my babies.. It is so good!  :cube:
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Vieve on 13 Jan 2013, 19:27
This makes me want to peel you grapes and fan you with a palm frond.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: DeadRow on 13 Jan 2013, 19:51
Brilliant.

I'll have you after John is done :3
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Safai on 13 Jan 2013, 20:46
Wow, really really well done.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Ava Starfire on 13 Jan 2013, 21:28
Even better than the previous piece. Chronicle material - seriously. Send it in!

Seriously, this. Get it to Falcon.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Syagrius on 13 Jan 2013, 21:44
Agrees!
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Lyn Farel on 14 Jan 2013, 08:37
Really nice, that was an awesome idea as a concept, I am almost jealous that I did not think of it myself in the first place. ^^
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Graelyn on 15 Jan 2013, 17:09
(http://i.imgur.com/OG8oR.gif)
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Saede Riordan on 16 Jan 2013, 11:14
Brilliant. Completely brilliant.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Ieze Svain on 16 Jan 2013, 11:20
This is so good. Read it 3 times now...its that good.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Sepherim on 16 Jan 2013, 15:08
Can't say much that hasn't been said already, but I loved it too. It should be introduction/explanation of what the IGS really is in an official way, if it is a chronicle as was suggested, much better!
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Arnulf Ogunkoya on 16 Jan 2013, 15:24
Oh my!

I find myself wondering what a longer piece would be like. If this sort of quality could be sustained over novel length I would be a very happy person indeed.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 16 Jan 2013, 16:49
Oh my!

I find myself wondering what a longer piece would be like. If this sort of quality could be sustained over novel length I would be a very happy person indeed.

I am not very good at writing longer pieces, as my inspiration is both fleeting and fickle. Proof of this can be seen in my still unfinished 'Cane Colony' fiction.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: hellgremlin on 16 Jan 2013, 23:28
If I were you, I'd delete the OP, then submit this for print before anyone gets wise, it's that good.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 16 Jan 2013, 23:31
Seriously? I'm rather shocked by these raving reviews, honestly. Can someone explain to me in literary terms what makes this one so good? It happened in a burst of inspiration, so I didn't really put a whole lot of planning into it. It just kinda came out.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Sepherim on 16 Jan 2013, 23:36
Most of the time, those are the best. ;)

As for what makes me like it so much, it's mostly due to two things. First, it's an original story, not the usual pod pilot being so badass and cool that everyone must say "wooow" when they see him/her. And also because, even in such few words, you were able to construct four solid characters, all giving a complex and intertwined view of the same phenomenon, creating a living and breathing picture of what the IGS may mean to those beyond the pod.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: hellgremlin on 16 Jan 2013, 23:44
Seriously? I'm rather shocked by these raving reviews, honestly. Can someone explain to me in literary terms what makes this one so good? It happened in a burst of inspiration, so I didn't really put a whole lot of planning into it. It just kinda came out.

Hmm. Hard to put into words. Whenever reading a story, I establish a narrator in my head. If the story is terrible, that narrator sounds like Bobcat Goldthwait, and spits on his bib a lot. When the story strikes a particular tone, that narrator grows more sophisticated, maybe becoming a British gentleman, or someone who attributes specific weight and timbre to certain words. Your story was narrated by the female narrator from the Revelations II trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnL3slAfbuM

Specifically, the last line. It made me feel like the "for man is the destroyer of things" line, delivered in a grim deadpan. This entire story is grim deadpan, and the last line clinches it.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: lallara zhuul on 17 Jan 2013, 02:05
Yeah, get it on E-ON.

You will get 150 mil for it (if they remember to give it to you.)

A hard copy of the E-ON it is on.

And probably mispell your name.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: BloodBird on 17 Jan 2013, 06:36
Seriously? I'm rather shocked by these raving reviews, honestly. Can someone explain to me in literary terms what makes this one so good? It happened in a burst of inspiration, so I didn't really put a whole lot of planning into it. It just kinda came out.

The PF info regarding the IGS' accessibility to the wider public is VERY slim and limited. The vast majority of players, let alone RP'ers, realize that the IGS is available to most other people. Many characters would be more careful in their choice of words, and indeed, perhaps a bit more novel and civilized in their behavior if this was widely known. Therefore, your piece would be a good reminder to them of the IGS' nature.

That's only one reason however, one that depends on character's knowledge of it in an in-game sense. There is another reason.

The piece is very well made, IMHO. It has good pacing, it's believable in it's portrayal of it's characters, and it's informative in a variety of ways. Right now, if *I* had made this, I'd alter the part about Stitcher, if needed. Because, to my knowledge there is only ONE other chronicle that mention a Player faction by name, it name-drops the Curse Alliance, and I'm not sure how much CCP approves of leaving mentions of player's names etc. If this is no problem, send it in as is, otherwise I'd try to work a bit around that.

My communication skills are horrible, but in short, what I'm trying to say is this - this piece is cron-worthy because it's informative in an IC-sense, well paced and structured and it contains believable characters, easily set in the EVE universe. IT also has a slight hint of grimdark in it, fitting the overall feel of the universe.

So yeah, send it in. Worst thing that can happen is, it's rejected. Even if it is, *we* can still enjoy it  ;)
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Sepherim on 17 Jan 2013, 09:55
The piece is very well made, IMHO. It has good pacing, it's believable in it's portrayal of it's characters, and it's informative in a variety of ways. Right now, if *I* had made this, I'd alter the part about Stitcher, if needed. Because, to my knowledge there is only ONE other chronicle that mention a Player faction by name, it name-drops the Curse Alliance, and I'm not sure how much CCP approves of leaving mentions of player's names etc. If this is no problem, send it in as is, otherwise I'd try to work a bit around that.

As far as three years ago, when I was active completely, CCP didn't introduce player names or corporations in PF even in events where they were present. Take as an example the Speaker of Truths chronicle, when he mentions that their are capsuleers in orbit. PIE was there, the OQ was there, and a few more, so he could perfectly have mentioned who had done it (and, IMO, they should do it, being a single server it makes clearer the impact of players on the world where it is deserved). Player and corporation names only show up in the news feeds, IIRC.

So yes, removing the pilots' names may make it easier to be accepted by CCP.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Silas Vitalia on 18 Jan 2013, 13:40
2nd that you'd need to remove player names and corps for most EON sorts of material.

The story stays just as lovely regardless.

Regarding "The Summit" and baseliner observance, anyone in the summit would find it pretty easy to record their feed and send it out into the void, unless I suppose Graelyn is restricting this via fancy 'NO RECORDINGZ' tech.   
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Mithfindel on 18 Jan 2013, 14:38
On the Summit: What can be played back can be recorded, assuming that reduced quality is not an issue.

On IGS: Not sure, but I'd think we may have had occasional non-capsuleers (NPC actors?) even posting on the IGS. Of course, they might have all been capsuleers, too.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Sepherim on 18 Jan 2013, 15:43
As far as The Summit goes (and any other channel) I'd say they're pretty easy to record. Afterall, we get the logs automatically, and pretty often logs are used in IC debate, so it means that our pilots would have those logs as well.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Graelyn on 18 Jan 2013, 15:47
I have very specifically addressed this issue here (https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=2449445#post2449445) on the 12th.
Title: Re: Your Biggest Fan
Post by: Louella Dougans on 18 Jan 2013, 15:54
IGS is broadcast by some media channels, there's a news item about it.

http://community.eveonline.com/news.asp?a=single&nid=652&tid=4