Backstage - OOC Forums
General Discussion => General Non-RP EVE Discussion => Topic started by: Katrina Oniseki on 30 Mar 2014, 12:00
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Hello everyone. My name is Mark, and I have an addiction.
I am addicted to online roleplaying.
Past five or so years I've been stuck in poverty with nowhere to go and nothing to do and no hope to change it. The only reason I've tolerated the emotionally unhealthy places I've frequented such as Second Life, EVE Online, and others was because I had nothing else and nowhere else to do or go with my time. I was stuck talking to people like you (no offense), because I had no better choices. It was a coping mechanism for a failed life that constantly tested my will to keep living it. More than once, EVE Online and the people in it were part of the only immediate things keeping me from literally committing suicide because I hated myself and my life, I wanted to be Katrina. Everything flawed about my roleplay and her character is because of MY flaws, as many of you already understand. Not surprisingly, when someone likes me uses RP as an escape from an unfulfilled RL, bleedover is rampant and unavoidable. Despite the knowledge that I like most of you, that I'm okay with the rest of you... when Katrina argues and is attacked, my emotional reactions spring up because I'm trying to live in her shoes.
Tomorrow I start paid training for a new career. A $42,000 a year career, with overtime, benefits, union representation. The whole nine yards. Starting tomorrow morning, I will finally have given myself the ability and reason to enjoy my life. Starting tomorrow, I won't need to rely so heavily on EVE
Starting tomorrow, I will seriously consider taking a hopefully permanent step back from MMO addiction. Part of that may be leaving this RP community. Because, this is unhealthy in large and constant doses. This 'community', the game, the MMO addiction, my immersion in a life that isn't my own. It's burying me, because I have an addiction problem and I was trying to escape something I should have faced long ago. My own life. My real life.
I may not leave though, because when working 40-65 hours a week I won't be around much to be so sick of you all. So when I do see you, maybe it will be good times! Distance makes the heart grow fonder, etc.
For all the OOC conflict and IC conflict I've caused, I apologize. For all the issues people have had with me, I will try to work on them and improve. For all those who honestly cared about me (you know who you are), thank you so very much for your support and patience. I will try to be better, and live better, and learn to respect and love myself the way I should have so long ago. Maybe money doesn't buy happiness, but not having any sure doesn't help.
A special apology and thanks to True Slaves Foundations and Pyre Falcon Defence Combine who have unreasonably been the victim of many a conflict with me. It doesn't count for much, but at least you understand why it's been happening and that I do regret it every time it does.
Before anyone asks, no you can't have my stuff! I'm not quitting EVE. I'm just going to try being a happy adult. I'm going to try dating again, and travelling, and working until I pass out in bed at the end of a long day on the job. I'm going to save for retirement, and treat my children to important experiences. I'm going to make friends in real life that I can share an actual beer with.
... and some day soon? I'm going to try to make it to fanfest. Hopefully, when you all finally meet me, I'll be someone I can feel proud to introduce.
Wish me luck, Backstage.
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hugs
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Many many hugs and kisses.
Good luck KatKat :)
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I will miss you, and i get the feelings. I'm there right now, and have been for years. EVE is the only "life" i have.
I'm glad you got an out.
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I know you're going to do well, and you're going to be much happier. And that's what counts! I'm happy for you :) I know it's tough, but this is the right choice for you, it sounds.
On, to better things. No regrets. I'm looking forward to hearing how it's turning out from you if you slide in-game from time to time, or elsewise.
<3
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Hi, Mark! I'm Evan. Totally got you on gaming addiction. Frig. :oops:
As the line goes, it's the duty of every prisoner to escape-- which goes both to your life before, and your life after. Best of luck and best of wishes with your new job! And I know I'm saying the obvious, something you likely already know, but: no path is smooth and level. There will always be trials. You're bright and newly-motivated, though, so I've no doubt you'll overcome.
'The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places,' as another line goes. And yes, that's a partial quote; but I prefer to leave it there. ;)
Also, re: TC-F and PYRE. I think it's a lot more complicated than that? But that's not something for this thread.
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all the best, Katrina :)
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Best of luck. :cube:
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Best wishes. :)
I couldnt myself work 65h per week even if I wanted to, as I would just break, so kuddos for being able to deal with that as a bonus...
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Hurrah for RL improving!
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Best wishes. :)
I couldnt myself work 65h per week even if I wanted to, as I would just break, so kuddos for being able to deal with that as a bonus...
The overtime I'd be getting would be a HUGE financial boon for me, so I'll definitely work that. I've spent the first decade of my adulthood not working enough. I think I'd like to catch up. :D
Thanks for all the support, folks. I've got a solid 11 weeks of heavy training to go through and another 6 months probationary employment. Standard fare from what I hear for any good career track. It's gonna be rough!
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Mark, you and I never really talked much in or out of character, so I have no issues with you or your character. Saddly, that means you and I never really got to know each other, either. :(
Regardless of that, I'm glad to hear that things are looking up for you, from actually being able to spend time with your little girls to now this new career. I hope for the best for you on this path of your life. Take care, and drop in to say hi from time to time when you can. :)
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Best of luck to you!
I trust you will still send the occasional random amusement via Steam.
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I wish you good luck and above all success with this new part of your life.
It's the duty of every prisoner to escape.
Quite a good line. :)
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*Much hugs*
Glad to hear things are looking up for you.
I know how you feel since I play eve to help battle depression myself :)
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"Dum spiro, spero." - Cicero, per Theocritus
I believe that which you will accomplish will not be due to luck.
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No worries man. Good luck in your life and fly safe. Also come back and get in arguments with us unencumbered by rl stuffs :)
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You will literally not believe how something that consumed much of your waking thoughts, this other world we have inhabited for so many years, will mean so very little after you just cut the cord for a few weeks.
All the things you give so much mental energy to right now in the game will fall into the background, and the things you used to agonize over (ships, players, people, relationships - in game -) will barely be a blip on your real life radar after you cut the cord.
Honestly I suggest a hard cutoff for a month or two, unsub, don't check mails, don't check backstage. You won't believe the weight off your shoulders, and if you come back, you come back slowly.
Super good luck with all the things, and of course hit me on steam anytime (takeiteasymon)
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Heya Mark!
It's good to hear that you're doing good in RL, keep up with that! I for one wish you all the best! I'm sure you'll find a way to spend your free time in EVE reasonably, while adding a lot of non-virtual activities there. :)
See you around!
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The game of EVE is hard to play
We're gonna lose it anyway
The losing card we'll some day lay
So this is all I have to say:
That dropping sub is painless
It brings on many changes
And you can take or leave it if you please.
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Best of luck to you, Kat.
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You will literally not believe how something that consumed much of your waking thoughts, this other world we have inhabited for so many years, will mean so very little after you just cut the cord for a few weeks.
All the things you give so much mental energy to right now in the game will fall into the background, and the things you used to agonize over (ships, players, people, relationships - in game -) will barely be a blip on your real life radar after you cut the cord.
Honestly I suggest a hard cutoff for a month or two, unsub, don't check mails, don't check backstage. You won't believe the weight off your shoulders, and if you come back, you come back slowly.
Super good luck with all the things, and of course hit me on steam anytime (takeiteasymon)
This sounds good, I think it is the route I will attempt.
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Tomorrow I start paid training for a new career. A $42,000 a year career, with overtime, benefits, union representation. The whole nine yards. Starting tomorrow morning, I will finally have given myself the ability and reason to enjoy my life. Starting tomorrow, I won't need to rely so heavily on EVE.
This is very good news. Put your head down and get it done.
I will miss your ability to make me laugh with rapid-fire, always-appropriate-for-context cat image memes.
Also, everything Silas said.
Best of luck, Mark. :D
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Best of luck chap.
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I was stuck talking to people like you (no offense),
I totally take offense to that. :P
I'm going to try to make it to fanfest. Hopefully, when you all finally meet me, I'll be someone I can feel proud to introduce.
I'd say you will, but if not I volunteer since I am proud to introduce you anyway. Despite some of our arguments and fights you've always been a great friend in and out of EVE. I truly wish you the best. <3
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Never be sorry for IC conflict ;)
Wish you all the best. :cube:
~Doodle
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For all the OOC conflict and IC conflict I've caused, I apologize [...]
A special apology and thanks to True Slaves Foundations and Pyre Falcon Defence Combine who have unreasonably been the victim of many a conflict with me [...] It doesn't count for much, but at least you understand why it's been happening and that I do regret it every time it does.
Nuuuu, don't apologize for IC conflict! I can't speak for SHARE, or even all of PYRE, but we liked it. Besides being general masochists, conflict with a more straightforward and friendly party made us look like shady, morally questionable neck-breakers, which was exactly aligned with our goals. Some ruffled feelings aside, you actually did us a favor!
[...] and some day soon? I'm going to try to make it to fanfest. Hopefully, when you all finally meet me, I'll be someone I can feel proud to introduce.
Already there, man. You've given us all some excellent fiction and interaction, and consistently portrayed one of the most visible characters around, for the longest time. It's maybe not the most productive use of time, but in a small way, for several years, you made all of our lives more interesting. My hat's off to you.
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(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CaDOzTwV1kE/UVM84kOHTYI/AAAAAAAAMOQ/HGp2X0Olkho/s1600/Forgot+your+hug.jpg)
Best of luck on your new career. :)
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Even though the first time we actually met I made a bad impression, I thought you were super cool so hope we get to come see ya some time and maybe I might be further along in Eve rather than being a noob. :)
Goodluck!
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I heart you Katrina! Seriously, congrats on the new job and the new outlook. I wish you the absolute best.
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Hey everyone!
I'm currently in my first of 11 weeks of job training. I'll have wifi for most of them, so I will check in from time to time. Sorry I haven't replied to all of your messages, but I appreciate all the well wishes, and I'm feeling ever more confident about my capability to fill the job description - even the physical labor!
I don't think I can quit EVE. I like how even if I don't play it, I am accomplishing something by leaving my training queue active, hehe. So, I'll be in an out, available on steam. Feel free to mail me ingame or here if I am needed for anything. I'll be reading IGS, but try to avoid posting so I can concentrate on work instead of worrying over Katrina's space career. Keep up the posting!
Oh, and Skylee, you and Mr. Clean should come down and visit again. There's always second impressions! ;D
[spoiler=Selfie from Work](http://i.imgur.com/TRV2BIm.jpg)[/spoiler]
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Oh, and Skylee, you and Mr. Clean should come down and visit again. There's always second impressions! ;D
Consider it a date. PM me the details and we can try to work something out after graduation since I'll probably be a nervous wreck until then. :cube:
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As mr.Orange said,
Hurrah for RL improving!
I do hope Mark that you get a good balance between work and EVE, and no dont try to quite EVE, its to much part of oneself to do, but I can be good to step away sometimes. And IRL stuff is a good (and needed) thing to do.
Favourable winds!
o/
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I quit Eve
once twice. Now I just play backstage instead.
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I quit Eve once twice. Now I just play backstage instead.
o/\o
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Have fun out there and good luck in your new life.
I don't feel there's anything to apologize for, since no feelings were hurt on my end in Pyre Falcon.
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Hello, Goofus Markus. (I hope you'll forgive me for using that nickname. For some reason, it felt appropriate to use it on this occasion.)
As you may or may not know, I'm Sanne. Thank you for typing stuff about yourself. ;)
I wish you good luck and peace.
And uhm...you too, Amanda.
:cube: :cube:
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Hello, Goofus Markus. (I hope you'll forgive me for using that nickname. For some reason, it felt appropriate to use it on this occasion.)
My mom used to call me that when I was a kid. xD
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I'm still around! However, I tend to work 10-15 hours a day during the week, so I'm not around very often. Just wanted to let you know that I do check my EVE mails and backstage mails and dancing males. All of the mails. That I-RED thread was sortof my fun in the sun. :D
Anyways, things are going swimmingly well!
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I'm still around! However, I tend to work 10-15 hours a day during the week, so I'm not around very often. Just wanted to let you know that I do check my EVE mails and backstage mails and dancing males. All of the mails. That I-RED thread was sortof my fun in the sun. :D
Anyways, things are going swimmingly well!
I'm glad to hear that. :D
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Sounds like slavery :eek:
Glad to hear that you are doing well
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I wasn't actually previously aware of this thread. It's good to see you turning things around and enjoying your new gig! I always liked you - it's unfortunate I-RED isn't more into TCMC tech. I never fully got that scheme off the ground the way I wanted to for lack of an IC co-conspirator from the pool of Caldari RPers. I had the most unlikely-seeming accomplice lined up from the Minmatar bloc, too - would've been awesome content, potentially :(
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I'm still around! However, I tend to work 10-15 hours a day during the week, so I'm not around very often. Just wanted to let you know that I do check my EVE mails and backstage mails and dancing males. All of the mails. That I-RED thread was sortof my fun in the sun. :D
Anyways, things are going swimmingly well!
Congrats!! RL first, then time and desire permitting, you can come play with your space buddies :)