Backstage - OOC Forums

EVE-Online RP Discussion and Resources => EVE Fiction + Fiction discussion => Topic started by: Morwen Lagann on 09 May 2013, 11:42

Title: One Lost Child (poem)
Post by: Morwen Lagann on 09 May 2013, 11:42

I/Morwen originally wrote this poem in response to the news about Karin Midular's death and posted it on the IGS (https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=2990013#post2990013). I've tweaked it slightly from the version that's on the IGS (and am debating updating the version there), because I wasn't quite happy with the original wording. I'm still not completely happy with it, to be honest, but I figured it should be posted anyway. >.<

And no, it doesn't actually have any official title IC; I can't think of anything really appropriate. The forum thread title is just something to slap in there because forum requirements. :<

(Edit - Added a link to the original version that's on the IGS.)

---

The Mother weeps
For all of her lost children
She sings so that they may hear her voice,
That they may listen and find their way home to her.
She prays to hear their voices once more
Waits for their safe return
Even though she knows in her heart
There is one she will not see.

The Father never sleeps
Always lighting the way home
He shines, a beacon in the night
So that his lost children will know they are not far away.
He waits, counting them as they arrive.
Still he stands, his light held high,
Even though he knows in his heart
That the number is not right.

But even though the Mother still weeps,
She continues her song.
And even though the Father never sleeps,
His warm light shines on.
For the sake of all their lost children
It is all that they can do,
Because they know in their hearts
One of their lost children will not come Home tonight.

Title: Re: One Lost Child (poem)
Post by: Anslol on 09 May 2013, 11:48

It's not bad. I'm not much of a poem person but it's not bad. Maybe a little straight forward, but that might just be a personal preference. I like poems that are symbolic and that make you read it a few times before you go SON OF A BITCH THAT'S WHAT THEY MEAN!!

But still, pretty good.

Title: Re: One Lost Child (poem)
Post by: kalaratiri on 09 May 2013, 11:54

I like it :)

Mostly because I know the Matar/Pator links and get to go

(http://media.tumblr.com/cbb7ac8f4e70b3e0c983eedd796bb76a/tumblr_inline_milbk2eapu1qz4rgp.gif)

Title: Re: One Lost Child (poem)
Post by: Shintoko Akahoshi on 09 May 2013, 12:01

I agree with Anslo, it's not bad. You can't write a poem aimed at the masses of Minmarats who knew Midular only as a figurehead and do anything other than create the poetry equivalent of a "lighters in the air" rock anthem.

Title: Re: One Lost Child (poem)
Post by: Ava Starfire on 09 May 2013, 15:08

ICly, Ava cried. A lot.

OOCly, Ava cried a bit too.

Really does paint the picture, and the references to Pator and Matar are wonderful.

Thank you.

Title: Re: One Lost Child (poem)
Post by: Natalcya Katla on 13 May 2013, 22:14

I like it. I don't think it's too straight-forward, but then again, I like straight-forward poetry.