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EVE-Online RP Discussion and Resources => EVE Character Development => Topic started by: Katrina Oniseki on 03 Mar 2013, 04:11

Title: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 03 Mar 2013, 04:11
I was originally going to post this anonymously, but decided against it. I hope everyone can stay respectful and not make personal attacks and try to stay away from 'urdoinitrong' comments...

"Space Lesbians"

We use the term a lot, most of us. Some of us preface our characters by defining whether we are one or not. Some of us jokingly or seriously prod at other characters using the term. Others make judgments about RP based on it, or imply judgments. The word has started to become synonymous with role-play that isn’t serious or as worthwhile as heterosexual or male/male relationships.

But what is a Space Lesbian? Is it simply any character changed in homosexual role-play between two females? Is it the aforementioned type of character but played by a male in RL? Is it suggesting that lesbians in EVE should only be played by actual females? Is it a character whose purpose is primarily sexual? Does it suggest promiscuity?  Does it mean the player is sexually insecure? Is being a space lesbian ‘doinitrong’?

The problem with the term 'space lesbian' is that it's become so common and used in a derogatory way that some of us may not realize how offensive it can be. There are many female characters who are involved in serious and monogamous homosexual relationships in EVE played by people who put a lot of effort into their role-play. There are those who are gay or lesbian, or otherwise queer, in real life who could feel bothered by the comment. While it’s understandable that not everybody is accepting of homosexuality, those who are should be more careful when using the term.

In many societies, being homosexual can get you excluded from society, placed under judicial punishment, or worse. This isn’t reality. This isn’t a call for gay rights. This isn’t a cry for help. It is however a petition for those who share this role-play community to be careful instead of casually throwing the phrase around. There are players, friends of yours even, who play lesbians in EVE – and who might be offended. Let’s all try to be more accepting of other’s choices in role-play.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ciarente on 03 Mar 2013, 04:15
+ 1

I resemble these remarks.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: kalaratiri on 03 Mar 2013, 04:30
As an accidental space lesbian, I approve of this message.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Vincent Pryce on 03 Mar 2013, 04:34
Considering I was the one who coined the phrase to begin with to describe my alt Selkie and a character called Sara Izlion when we were lolling about in a common OOC channel Ghost Festival public was it, I'll chip in my 0.02isk.

I started using it as a three things, playful joke, troll phrase and last but not least a derogatory term for the endless lipstick fantasy lesbian couples that sprung along at the time in EVE RP community. Essentially horny guys who were acting out their favourite porn troupes from which ever fantasy at the time. It sort of picked on from there among the community.

Aside from that I've got nothing against lesbian or gay RP ( not enough manlove though :< ) if it's something with serious intent an a development of character that has more meaning than khanid slave girl #789 going all sorority girl on Gallente Hussy # 69.

Since many years have passed, the term has taken a life of it's own and many people use it and in many different ways. Viva la language.

Inb4 someone accuses me of homophobia, no that's not the case. Who you love or desire is not my concern as long as it's all consensual and makes you happy.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 03 Mar 2013, 04:40
Considering I was the one who coined the phrase to begin with to describe my alt Selkie and a character called Sara Izlion when we were lolling about in a common OOC channel Ghost Festival public was it, I'll chip in my 0.02isk.

I started using it as a three things, playful joke, troll phrase and last but not least a derogatory term for the endless lipstick fantasy lesbian couples that sprung along at the time in EVE RP community. Essentially horny guys who were acting out their favourite porn troupes from which ever fantasy at the time. It sort of picked on from there among the community.

Aside from that I've got nothing against lesbian or gay RP ( not enough manlove though :< ) if it's something with serious intent an a development of character that has more meaning than khanid slave girl #789 going all sorority girl on Gallente Hussy # 69.

Since many years have passed, the term has taken a life of it's own and many people use it and in many different ways. Viva la language.

Inb4 someone accuses me of homophobia, no that's not the case. Who you love or desire is not my concern as long as it's all consensual and makes you happy.

Thank you for your post, and I believe what you say in your last few lines. You don't strike me outwardly as the type to do anything but harmlessly troll a bit for giggles.

I didn't really know the history of the term until now, so it's interesting to hear the creator of it (or... coiner? Whatever) speak up.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lasairiona on 03 Mar 2013, 04:59
I've jokingly said Lasa would go "space lesbian" but I don't mean anything horrible by it. I grew up in San Francisco ('nough said). I don't think anyone means any offense by it and I would hate to see someone feel put down or insulted by the use of the term  :(
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lyn Farel on 03 Mar 2013, 06:04
It's often the same thing than dramaqueens using a particular kind of RP to serve their sinistrous fantasies will always bleed over more serious players using the same kind of RP. Like ex minmatar lolraped slaves. We could also find derogatory terms for these (and maybe it already exists) and get the same issue with more serious players playing ex slaves.

The spece lesbian term has become a catch all word that can be used in many different ways by many different players. Some will use it seriously to negatively paint the "horny males", some will use it as a joke of self denigration "here i stand, serious space lesbian, surrounded by lol space lesbians", some will use is as a blanket term, etc.

It has become horribly ambiguous.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: kalaratiri on 03 Mar 2013, 06:29
I always took it as something of a term of endearment, mostly because it was mostly used (in reference to me) by people who I got on well with. I don't think anyone ever called me it as a derogatory term, probably because I didn't flaunt it around, and because it was something I didn't plan to do that just ended up developing through RP.

And a lot of the time, 'space bi' would probably be more accurate anyway. Need more men who aren't total assholes ;)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Myyona on 03 Mar 2013, 07:17
I do not go around calling people 'space lesbians', but I also read the term with a different meaning than simply the sexual orientation of an individual and more like something that have ended up as an cliche.

It is the same kind of cliche I see when a capsuleer appears that is a omniscient and discusses any topic as some kind of (pocket) philosophist regardless of supposedly character background. It makes me miss the "average" and "normal" (not referring to sexuality) people and I have much respect for those who stick to a narrow portrayal of their charters.

I had a similar experience with a cartoon site I was visiting where more and more of the different stories I was following started introducing lesbian main characters while none of them had a single gay character.

Hm, I am certain there is a word for this, let me see what Google says...
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Chell Charon on 03 Mar 2013, 07:59
And a lot of the time, 'space bi' would probably be more accurate anyway. Need more men who aren't total assholes ;)
Really? Really? Really.
"Need more women who aren't total bitches."
Sadly srs. Since when men being "assholes" causes lesbians? This almost demands someone to IC roll up a nice guy and go "Yeah I like women more, a lot more, but hey there ain't nice enough girls around so I had to go gay." (I just don't think thats how sexual preferences work.)

I understand that the term space lesbian, when used in unkind manner refers to a style of RP instead of actually being something that is intended as a lambasting roleplaying of a sexual orientation. Most often I see it used it is either ribbing people in a friendly manner or making fun of our little RP community having that insane statistical tilt towards lesbianism. (Speaking of characters not players)

And that does bring a point up about my original quote. How come every single culture where we have lesbian characters (or characters in general deviating from norm) in seems to be a-ok with it?

(Storing up rants, for being way aside the discussion.)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: kalaratiri on 03 Mar 2013, 08:25
And a lot of the time, 'space bi' would probably be more accurate anyway. Need more men who aren't total assholes ;)
Really? Really? Really.
"Need more women who aren't total bitches."
Sadly srs. Since when men being "assholes" causes lesbians? This almost demands someone to IC roll up a nice guy and go "Yeah I like women more, a lot more, but hey there ain't nice enough girls around so I had to go gay." (I just don't think thats how sexual preferences work.)

Relax, it was just a joke. A long running OOC joke among players who choose to have a lesbian characters is that "single" and "nice" seem to be mutually exclusive among men in eve. All the good ones seem to be taken (curse those women who got there first :l ).
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Saede Riordan on 03 Mar 2013, 08:36
And a lot of the time, 'space bi' would probably be more accurate anyway. Need more men who aren't total assholes ;)
Really? Really? Really.
"Need more women who aren't total bitches."
Sadly srs. Since when men being "assholes" causes lesbians? This almost demands someone to IC roll up a nice guy and go "Yeah I like women more, a lot more, but hey there ain't nice enough girls around so I had to go gay." (I just don't think thats how sexual preferences work.)

Relax, it was just a joke. A long running OOC joke among players who choose to have a lesbian characters is that "single" and "nice" seem to be mutually exclusive among men in eve. All the good ones seem to be taken (curse those women who got there first :l ).

except for Pieter. And ho boy you should look at the people fawning over him.

This topic is relevant to my interests, but I find I don't have much to add. Can it be a bit silly sometimes to have someone who doesn't know how to play a female character trying to do it? Yeah but I won't begrudge them for it too much either. I think the amount that it gets brought is kind of weird. So What if I character is promiscuous? I'm pretty promiscuous OOC too. It seems like its sort of become an easy catch all term to use to try and mock people who ERP. I'm going to say something probably fairly controversial and say that if someone does ERP, who cares? Why does it matter? If you don't like it, then just don't do it. The phrase seems to me to have come out of this idea of people holding their noses up to any sort of remotely sexual roleplay. I just don't see why its a big deal.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ciarente on 03 Mar 2013, 08:40
My reading of the OP is that it is not an assertion that people use the term because they wish to be offensive, but rather a suggestion that we all think about our use of the phrase and the unintended baggage it can bring with it.

I also suggest that discussions of homosexuality in Eve cultures belong in their own thread.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Davlos on 03 Mar 2013, 09:09
And a lot of the time, 'space bi' would probably be more accurate anyway. Need more men who aren't total assholes ;)
Really? Really? Really.
"Need more women who aren't total bitches."
Sadly srs. Since when men being "assholes" causes lesbians? This almost demands someone to IC roll up a nice guy and go "Yeah I like women more, a lot more, but hey there ain't nice enough girls around so I had to go gay." (I just don't think thats how sexual preferences work.)

Relax, it was just a joke. A long running OOC joke among players who choose to have a lesbian characters is that "single" and "nice" seem to be mutually exclusive among men in eve. All the good ones seem to be taken (curse those women who got there first :l ).

The same can be said about the women. o.O A lot of women that Dav has approached turned out to batting for the same team.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Silas Vitalia on 03 Mar 2013, 09:33
I believe this refers to the all common space virus which turns 95% of all female Eve RPers into lesbians.  Unless there's something in the water of New Eden its at a rate and level as to imply nearly the entire capsuleer female population is gay.

Which is super fine, but we'd imagine more of a balance perhaps. I'd imagine most of these cultures are past caring about  that sort of thing, of course.


If I had to put my finger on it I'd say it stems from the mostly male players behind female characters generally not interested in sexychats with other male characters, but rather other female characters.  I'd imagine if I'm a hetero man RPing a relationship I'd prefer to think about a space lady than some space man's dong in my face.   So to speak.

To each their own though of course!

Also the term is generally tossed about often when a 'new' female character shows up, is extremely sexual from the start, is a lesbian, and generally doesn't have much else going on beyond cruising for love in the chats, etc etc.




Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Davlos on 03 Mar 2013, 09:44
Also the term is generally tossed about often when a 'new' female character shows up, is extremely sexual from the start, is a lesbian, and generally doesn't have much else going on beyond cruising for love in the chats, etc etc.

Yes. ._.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Samira Kernher on 03 Mar 2013, 09:58
For me personally, it's about it being cliche. EVE is not the only game where this happens. I've RPed in SWG, WoW, and other MMOs, and it almost always is a fact of life that lesbian characters will outnumber their straight counterparts. Though EVE does seem to take this to an extreme level.

Personally, I don't really mind serious lesbian characters, nor do I mind it when the players behind said characters are actually female IRL. Usually the only time I have a problem with it is for male players of female characters, and only because it's such a common thing that often indicates that they are unable to distance themselves from their RL sexuality--thus failing to maintain the IC/OOC divide. All that said, I personally never refuse to RP with such characters, nor do I really consider them to be bad characters for it, and I don't hold it against the players involved (afterall, my BF typically roleplays lesbian characters), it just bothers me for it to be so common no matter where you go.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Khloe on 03 Mar 2013, 10:07
I think there's a huge gap in usage of "space lesbian", between those who describe a problem from those who poke fun at them. If the implication that any use of the term is disparaging to homosexuals, feel free to keep in mind that words don't have any meaning unless you give them value.

Why males playing female characters make other male players so uncomfortable would be a topic in itself, and I'd have plenty to say on the subject. There are plethora of people in here already trying to justify why they think it's okay to tell other players 'you're doing it wrong' because there are way too many lesbians in New Eden. Consider the 495,000 other players are probably straight as an arrow, it might be you who accidentally stumbled into the gay bar.

At any rate, until one of you starts paying for my subscription, I'll continue playing how I want even if it bothers you~


Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 03 Mar 2013, 10:42
My reading of the OP is that it is not an assertion that people use the term because they wish to be offensive, but rather a suggestion that we all think about our use of the phrase and the unintended baggage it can bring with it.

I also suggest that discussions of homosexuality in Eve cultures belong in their own thread.

+1

also, *licks Mercy*
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: ArtOfLight on 03 Mar 2013, 10:55
I've actually never used the term "space lesbian" because people are people and people will be people.

Personally, I sometimes find the sheer amount of female/female relationships a bit overwhelming but that's just the way RP goes. I've never really let it bother me.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Davlos on 03 Mar 2013, 11:07
At least there isn't a massive proliferation of futas.

*shudder*
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Mitara Newelle on 03 Mar 2013, 11:39
And a lot of the time, 'space bi' would probably be more accurate anyway. Need more men who aren't total assholes ;)
Really? Really? Really.
"Need more women who aren't total bitches."
Sadly srs. Since when men being "assholes" causes lesbians? This almost demands someone to IC roll up a nice guy and go "Yeah I like women more, a lot more, but hey there ain't nice enough girls around so I had to go gay." (I just don't think thats how sexual preferences work.)

Relax, it was just a joke. A long running OOC joke among players who choose to have a lesbian characters is that "single" and "nice" seem to be mutually exclusive among men in eve. All the good ones seem to be taken (curse those women who got there first :l ).
/me hides Aldy in her pocket, "Mine!"
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Matoko on 03 Mar 2013, 12:02
There is a reason one of my sayisms is, "MMORPG; Mostly Men Online Role Playing Girls."

On the topic at hand, like a lot of english, the phrase is entirely contextual. It depends on who's saying it, how they're saying it, and who they're saying it two. The word itself just sort of... Is. "Space lesbians", just as words, has no context or meaning beyond "females who are sexually attracted to females, in space".

Which is a long way of saying "be careful how you say things." Tone can make it a friendly nudge, or a snooty jab.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: kalaratiri on 03 Mar 2013, 12:06
And a lot of the time, 'space bi' would probably be more accurate anyway. Need more men who aren't total assholes ;)
Really? Really? Really.
"Need more women who aren't total bitches."
Sadly srs. Since when men being "assholes" causes lesbians? This almost demands someone to IC roll up a nice guy and go "Yeah I like women more, a lot more, but hey there ain't nice enough girls around so I had to go gay." (I just don't think thats how sexual preferences work.)

Relax, it was just a joke. A long running OOC joke among players who choose to have a lesbian characters is that "single" and "nice" seem to be mutually exclusive among men in eve. All the good ones seem to be taken (curse those women who got there first :l ).
/me hides Aldy in her pocket, "Mine!"

That was only slightly aimed at you Mitty :D All those nice young, spohisticated Amarrian and Caladri gentlemen who my poor Sebbie has no chance with  :cry:

There is a reason one of my sayisms is, "MMORPG; Mostly Men Online Role Playing Girls."

Interestingly while I am a male IRL, both of the players behind the characters Kala has been romantically involved with have been women. And apparently, I am good at roleplaying a girl, as people kept having to check >_>
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sepherim on 03 Mar 2013, 12:07
I think more or less all good arguments have been said. So, just out of completion, I believe I'll fall into the cathegory of those who believe it's a cliché used to describe those that don't RP, and only badly RP their sexual fantasies. I have nothing against sexual fantasies being RPed, but lesbians and gays are people and have the appropriate depth of personality. It's like meeting an Amarrian that can only say things about the Scriptures, talk about reclaiming and all that in a shallow and empty way. Okay, they can walk that path, sure, but they're not really RPing a person; sometimes, this is due to the fact that there is a lot of lore to learn, and you can see that person evolve and give depth to the character, be him the amarrian extremist or the space lesbian. Then they leave that "bucket of empty RPers" and enter the world of "good RPers", even if they still play a zealot or a lesbian.

And yes, I know, I'm an elitist when it comes to RP. Then again, I do Rp with anyone, just enjoy more RPing with a full character than a cartoon with predefined answers to everything.

And I love the explanation Silas gave on straight males not wanting to ERP with males. Sounds pretty logical indeed.

Quote from: Matoko
On the topic at hand, like a lot of english, the phrase is entirely contextual. It depends on who's saying it, how they're saying it, and who they're saying it two. The word itself just sort of... Is. "Space lesbians", just as words, has no context or meaning beyond "females who are sexually attracted to females, in space".

Which is a long way of saying "be careful how you say things." Tone can make it a friendly nudge, or a snooty jab.

Indeed. But tha can be said about any language, not only english. It's very common in spanish to call everyone a "hijo de puta", which literally translates as "son of a bitch"; might be a sign of friendship if used among friends, of hatred, of envy, of admiration... it's mostly an empty expression actually, 100 % context based.

So, my previous words would apply to the common context. I actually think I never used "space lesbians" before.

Quote from: Kalatariri
That was only slightly aimed at you Mitty :D All those nice young, spohisticated Amarrian and Caladri gentlemen who my poor Sebbie has no chance with  :cry:

Yes, I know, no lady can reject us. xD

Actually, now that I think of it, neither Catillah nor old-Seph actually ever got involved with another character in this way. I have in other MMOs (like Age of Conan), but not in EVE. Curious. :?
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lyn Farel on 03 Mar 2013, 12:31
On a more personnal experience, I have never really fallen into the lesbian characters especially. I have to add first that I don't care if male or female relationships for my female characters. On other MMOs I have RPed a male (one of my most successful characters atm) that became a women magnet. On Eve the few characters that seemed intersted in Lyn (I say seemed since that's my own interpretation, I have never really been sure except for two of them), they were all male.

Maybe, from that experience, just maybe, and it is only wild speculation here, that it actually shows and/or depends of the character and the player behind. I find it even weirder considering that I no strong proponent of heterosexual RP, or homosexual RP, and since my mentionned chars are not especially one sided on that matter as well.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 03 Mar 2013, 12:46
And I love the explanation Silas gave on straight males not wanting to ERP with males. Sounds pretty logical indeed.

In the same vein, it'd be 'logical' to assume that those people that make a fuss about 'space lesbians' have a problem with assertive, male-ish females that would pose a thread to them scoring or somesuch.

If you ERP a 'spacelesbian' you know that the person on the other side is probably male. If you play a male char in a relationship with a female, you prolly have the same situation. So, why does being straight male pose a problem to ERP with a male character, but not with a male player, portraying a female character?

Actually, now that I think of it, neither Catillah nor old-Seph actually ever got involved with another character in this way. I have in other MMOs (like Age of Conan), but not in EVE. Curious. :?

I can say so much: Nico thought that old-Seph was quite attractive. Then he vanished.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Kyoko Sakoda on 03 Mar 2013, 13:31
I was going to post something about feminism, the Gaze, Linda Williams, etc... but I don't think I can take this thread seriously.

The truth is, the game needs more penis. </tourettes>
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sepherim on 03 Mar 2013, 13:33
Quote from: Nicoletta Mithra
In the same vein, it'd be 'logical' to assume that those people that make a fuss about 'space lesbians' have a problem with assertive, male-ish females that would pose a thread to them scoring or somesuch.

If you ERP a 'spacelesbian' you know that the person on the other side is probably male. If you play a male char in a relationship with a female, you prolly have the same situation. So, why does being straight male pose a problem to ERP with a male character, but not with a male player, portraying a female character?

I think it has to do with fantasy more than reality. You see a female portrait, you can pretend there's a female player on the other side. It probably is wrong, but you can act upon it and convince yourself as if it is true.

Or, simply, ignore the person behind the screen and just focus on the character, which is female.

Quote
I can say so much: Nico thought that old-Seph was quite attractive. Then he vanished.

Yup, Ministry of Internal Order didn't like him meddling into certain things, and the corpses he had accumulated in his closet. Some were... politically sensible. But I'll tell him next time I get a Legio visit, I'm sure he'd like to know it in his monastery. ;)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lyn Farel on 03 Mar 2013, 14:20
Quote from: Nicoletta Mithra
In the same vein, it'd be 'logical' to assume that those people that make a fuss about 'space lesbians' have a problem with assertive, male-ish females that would pose a thread to them scoring or somesuch.

If you ERP a 'spacelesbian' you know that the person on the other side is probably male. If you play a male char in a relationship with a female, you prolly have the same situation. So, why does being straight male pose a problem to ERP with a male character, but not with a male player, portraying a female character?

I think it has to do with fantasy more than reality. You see a female portrait, you can pretend there's a female player on the other side. It probably is wrong, but you can act upon it and convince yourself as if it is true.

Or, simply, ignore the person behind the screen and just focus on the character, which is female.

Devil's advocate : you can also focus on your character, which is female, then, if the other one is male.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Cynthia Gallente on 03 Mar 2013, 14:51
... I just don't see why its a big deal.
This is exactly what I'm thinking.
Someone else's roleplay is theirs, what's the problem if they want to do something with it?  It's really not a big deal.
People wanna be space lesbians? Fine.  There are plenty of reasons for it, and again... who cares?

Also is Eve rp all about sex?
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Myyona on 03 Mar 2013, 15:01
It is not a big deal. But it is fair to make people aware, that in their attempt to create a "special" background trait for their character, has become "common" by so many others selecting the same trait.

Btw. my oldest friend in EVE is RL lesbian and I have been hanging out in her private channel for years, which, for reasons I do not care about, also contains a number of other homosexuals. What makes me itch, is that these are perfectly normal people while the "space lesbian" is not.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 03 Mar 2013, 15:11
What makes me itch, is that these are perfectly normal people while the "space lesbian" is not.

Could you elaborate on that statement?
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Kyoko Sakoda on 03 Mar 2013, 15:21
The problem is not GLBTQ characters, or people who play them. The problem lies at the cross-section of feminist theory and the majority demographics of EVE players.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Myyona on 03 Mar 2013, 15:42
Maybe 'when' should replace 'while' in that sentence.

I guess we can agree that sexual orientation should not be an issue, at least when it comes to homosexuality contra heterosexuality. But that also begs the question, why did your character have to be homosexual? Why not stick with heterosexuality which you know well?* Is the argument "I am not a space ship captain in real life either" because did you not just then argue that you selected homosexuality, in specific being lesbian, as you regard it as mysterious lifestyle you want to explore. And by that actual separating the sexual orientations instead of acknowledging that they are both normal and equally boring/exciting.

*: Disregard argument if you do not.

I think a good example of the "space lesbian" is how Tony G in T1 portrayed Jamyl's sexual deviancies in her youth. While likely intended otherwise, they seemed completely out of character and appeared only part of the story as some kind of "wow" effect.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 03 Mar 2013, 15:59
But that also begs the question, why did your character have to be homosexual? Why not stick with heterosexuality which you know well?

Simca was the first to show interest in Katrina IC, and second to Seriphyn Inhonores, was also one of the first people to offer a recurring storyline and OOC friendship to myself. I was new to the scene, and Simca took me under his wing. Why didn't I take Seriphyn, being the first? Because he was playing an alt, not the actual Seriphyn, and I didn't want to involve my main character heavily with an alternate he had to stop playing his main to log in. I took Simca's offered roleplay and ran with it. It ended up being a nearly two yer long RP storyline.

Following that, after Simca's IC 'death', Erys (again a female) was not the first per se (since now I had two years of meeting people behind me)... but she was certainly the one who ended up spending the most consistent time roleplaying with me from an OOC standpoint. Online every day at the same time, offering impressive dialogue and character development, and helping me work through the storyline mess that became of Katrina. Simply put, with all the effort Erys put into working with me during those weeks, we allowed our characters to being interested to ensure continued development.

My character became involved in homosexual relationships because the players behind the characters offered me what I was looking for in the right amounts at the right time. MY character stinll has romantic interests in plenty of males. Kiruss Dasun, Pieter, Stitcher, John in a platonic way, Valdezi, and even Tiberius in a small way. All males, and all people she was/is interested in. Kiruss is taken, Pieter is taken, Stitcher is taken, John is her boss, Valdezi treats her like a sister, and Tiberious is a toaster. If the situations were different, they could have been her next partner.

I'll note that I should not feel like I have to roleplay only with a male counterpart in order for my character to be taken seriously. You seem to argue that lesbians and gays are normal people just like everybody else, yet you ask me why I don't just stick to heterosexual (which you assume is my RL sexuality, incorrectly) which I 'know well'. It's almost as if you're suggesting I don't have the right or privilege to play a lesbian in EVE. This is the problem, and the reason why I made this thread, and why "Space Lesbians" term bothers me.

I'll let you draw your own conclusions before speaking further.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 03 Mar 2013, 16:16
Yup, Ministry of Internal Order didn't like him meddling into certain things, and the corpses he had accumulated in his closet. Some were... politically sensible.
Haven't had the right friends in the right places it seems. Poor man.

But I'll tell him next time I get a Legio visit, I'm sure he'd like to know it in his monastery. ;)
That is outright cruel. Does he receive female visitors? ;)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Myyona on 03 Mar 2013, 16:25
I read it as your characters sexual orientation are based on (non-sexual) OOC needs Y/N?

My question was open: "why did your character have to be homosexual?" and it seems you have an answer for your character which seem fine. The "issues" can arise when the answer is indeed that they regard being lesbian as a sexual fantasy they are now going to fulfill.

I have no interest in your RL sexual orientation. I even made a note mark '*' to emphasize that the reader might not be well versed in heterosexuality, as an attempt to indirectly acknowledge that the reader might have other sexual preferences. My only care in peoples sexuality is whether it involves me as partner or not. :)

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lyn Farel on 03 Mar 2013, 16:56
and Tiberious is a toaster.

That's so mean.

(http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/007/0/5/then_she__d_go_hug_a_toaster__by_willowwolf23-d36o9xq.jpg)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Cynthia Gallente on 03 Mar 2013, 17:06
I wish I could like posts, cuz I'd like that one.

Anyway...at Myyona
My character is a lesbian because mind your own business, to put it bluntly.
It harkens back to the "does it really matter?" question I posed earlier.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 03 Mar 2013, 18:52
I read it as your characters sexual orientation are based on (non-sexual) OOC needs Y/N?

My question was open: "why did your character have to be homosexual?" and it seems you have an answer for your character which seem fine. The "issues" can arise when the answer is indeed that they regard being lesbian as a sexual fantasy they are now going to fulfill.

I have no interest in your RL sexual orientation. I even made a note mark '*' to emphasize that the reader might not be well versed in heterosexuality, as an attempt to indirectly acknowledge that the reader might have other sexual preferences. My only care in peoples sexuality is whether it involves me as partner or not. :)
How does one see in game that a char not is 'lesbian' for the 'wrong OOC reasons'? - That is, apparently, somehow it is not okay to have sexual fantasies about being a lesbian? I also think that the expression "they regard being lesbian as a sexual fantasy" is somehow insinuating that people who have that fantasy a) have much of a say in it and could regard it as something else and b) they 'want' to degrade being lesbian to being 'merely' a sexual fantasy. I think both isn't warranted here.

So, if you don't care for peoples sexuality, why do you care whether they have sexual fantasies about being lesbian and act them out? After all, that's part of their sexuality.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ciarente on 03 Mar 2013, 19:51
I think Myyona may be referring to stereotypical heterosexual male fantasies about lesbians (something Vincent also touched on in his post with a reference to Khanid Slave Girl #whatever getting kinky with Gallente Hussy #umpteen). Having lost count of the number of times a straight man has responded to his advances being shot down with 'Not interested, gay' by saying something along the lines of 'That's okay, your girlfriend can join in', I'm pretty firmly of the opinion that many holders of this fantasy view women as objects, not possessors, of sexual desire. I would suggest that Myyona may be describing players whose fantasy is watching lesbians, not being one, and if the aim of roleplay is to enter into another's experience imaginatively, creating a character as a pliable puppet for fap fodder is the opposite of engaging with the exercise of viewing the world through another's eyes. 

However, the assumption contained in the casual use of 'space lesbian' to refer to non-heterosexual female characters (and I would suggest that a number of posts in this thread reinforce the idea that it's not a compliment) is that most if not all such characters are constructed for such reasons. I've seen Morlag referred to as a 'lolspacelesbian', for example, as well as Kat, regardless of both being complex characters with enduring and plausible relationships. 

There are plenty of other examples of character construction in Eve that can be done very badly, and very stereo-typically, and sometimes as an excuse for the public display of a sexual fantasy (Look! I am violating my slave! And she likes it!) but we don't apply a dismissive term for those characters in a blanket fashion to every character who shares that trait.

It is also worth remembering that for many people, RPing different sexualities and/or genders in games is an important part of exploring the development of their own sexuality or gender identity. Denigrating the concept of choosing to RP a lesbian because its a different and mysterious lifestyle disregards the very real experience of many gay and trans young people for whom GLBTI life is different and mysterious and who may need the buffer of RP to allow them to grapple, in a safe and distanced way, with their own desires and preferences.

While I share the  :roll: to towards shallow characters who appear to be nothing more than blank dolls manipulated into a series of sexual encounters by players with little interest in, or understanding of, the validity of GLBTI experience and desire, I think we should all read the OP again and note that it simply asks that we" be careful instead of casually throwing the phrase around."

In my opinion, this is a pretty modest request.





Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Saede Riordan on 03 Mar 2013, 20:02
I think Myyona may be referring to stereotypical heterosexual male fantasies about lesbians (something Vincent also touched on in his post with a reference to Khanid Slave Girl #whatever getting kinky with Gallente Hussy #umpteen). Having lost count of the number of times a straight man has responded to his advances being shot down with 'Not interested, gay' by saying something along the lines of 'That's okay, your girlfriend can join in', I'm pretty firmly of the opinion that many holders of this fantasy view women as objects, not possessors, of sexual desire. I would suggest that Myyona may be describing players whose fantasy is watching lesbians, not being one, and if the aim of roleplay is to enter into another's experience imaginatively, creating a character as a pliable puppet for fap fodder is the opposite of engaging with the exercise of viewing the world through another's eyes. 

However, the assumption contained in the casual use of 'space lesbian' to refer to non-heterosexual female characters (and I would suggest that a number of posts in this thread reinforce the idea that it's not a compliment) is that most if not all such characters are constructed for such reasons. I've seen Morlag referred to as a 'lolspacelesbian', for example, as well as Kat, regardless of both being complex characters with enduring and plausible relationships. 

There are plenty of other examples of character construction in Eve that can be done very badly, and very stereo-typically, and sometimes as an excuse for the public display of a sexual fantasy (Look! I am violating my slave! And she likes it!) but we don't apply a dismissive term for those characters in a blanket fashion to every character who shares that trait.

It is also worth remembering that for many people, RPing different sexualities and/or genders in games is an important part of exploring the development of their own sexuality or gender identity. Denigrating the concept of choosing to RP a lesbian because its a different and mysterious lifestyle disregards the very real experience of many gay and trans young people for whom GLBTI life is different and mysterious and who may need the buffer of RP to allow them to grapple, in a safe and distanced way, with their own desires and preferences.

While I share the  :roll: to towards shallow characters who appear to be nothing more than blank dolls manipulated into a series of sexual encounters by players with little interest in, or understanding of, the validity of GLBTI experience and desire, I think we should all read the OP again and note that it simply asks that we" be careful instead of casually throwing the phrase around."

In my opinion, this is a pretty modest request.

So much this.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 03 Mar 2013, 20:06
I even made a note mark '*' to emphasize that the reader might not be well versed in heterosexuality, as an attempt to indirectly acknowledge that the reader might have other sexual preferences.

Fair point. I somehow glossed over that when typing my long winded reply, likely due to lack of sleep. Jet lag will do that to me. I apologize.

I think Myyona may be referring to stereotypical heterosexual male fantasies about lesbians (something Vincent also touched on in his post with a reference to Khanid Slave Girl #whatever getting kinky with Gallente Hussy #umpteen). Having lost count of the number of times a straight man has responded to his advances being shot down with 'Not interested, gay' by saying something along the lines of 'That's okay, your girlfriend can join in', I'm pretty firmly of the opinion that many holders of this fantasy view women as objects, not possessors, of sexual desire. I would suggest that Myyona may be describing players whose fantasy is watching lesbians, not being one, and if the aim of roleplay is to enter into another's experience imaginatively, creating a character as a pliable puppet for fap fodder is the opposite of engaging with the exercise of viewing the world through another's eyes. 

However, the assumption contained in the casual use of 'space lesbian' to refer to non-heterosexual female characters (and I would suggest that a number of posts in this thread reinforce the idea that it's not a compliment) is that most if not all such characters are constructed for such reasons. I've seen Morlag referred to as a 'lolspacelesbian', for example, as well as Kat, regardless of both being complex characters with enduring and plausible relationships. 

There are plenty of other examples of character construction in Eve that can be done very badly, and very stereo-typically, and sometimes as an excuse for the public display of a sexual fantasy (Look! I am violating my slave! And she likes it!) but we don't apply a dismissive term for those characters in a blanket fashion to every character who shares that trait.

It is also worth remembering that for many people, RPing different sexualities and/or genders in games is an important part of exploring the development of their own sexuality or gender identity. Denigrating the concept of choosing to RP a lesbian because its a different and mysterious lifestyle disregards the very real experience of many gay and trans young people for whom GLBTI life is different and mysterious and who may need the buffer of RP to allow them to grapple, in a safe and distanced way, with their own desires and preferences.

While I share the  :roll: to towards shallow characters who appear to be nothing more than blank dolls manipulated into a series of sexual encounters by players with little interest in, or understanding of, the validity of GLBTI experience and desire, I think we should all read the OP again and note that it simply asks that we" be careful instead of casually throwing the phrase around."

In my opinion, this is a pretty modest request.

Thank you, Ciarente. :)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Matoko on 03 Mar 2013, 20:15
One question to be asked is "How does being a lesbian (or any sexual preference for that matter) add to the character?" For some, like Kat (or so it sounds, do correct me if I'm wrong), it's wasn't a planned aspect. It just sort of evolved, which is the best way to gain aspects in my opinion. Even if the reason for it being is the Player finds lesbians attractive, it's still a legitimate reason.

The only time I'd consider it not legitimate is if being lesbian/gay/xenophiliac is the only aspect of the character. It's perfectly fine to have these aspects, and you can even make them main aspects if you want, but if the only thing you use to describe the character is that she's a lesbian... It's just not very interesting. What else is she, in addition to being attracted to other females?

This doesn't apply only to sexual preferences either. You can ask the same question about a person who calls themselves a soldier. "Ok, what kind of soldier? Why did they want to join the military/militia? How do they view their opponents? What is their fighting style? How long have they been fighting? What, if anything, do they do concerning the people they've killed? Have they lost any friends in the line of duty?" So on and so forth. Summing a character up into one word, be it soldier, scientist, patriot, conservative, lesbian, hedonist, or anything else, doesn't provide enough flavor. It's the, "I am 'X', and also 'Y' and 'Z' " that gives characters depth, makes them interesting. (Also beware of trying to wear too many hats. As the Buddha would say, not enough is bad, but so is too much)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 03 Mar 2013, 20:19
... For some, like Kat (or so it sounds, do correct me if I'm wrong), it's wasn't a planned aspect. It just sort of evolved, ...

You are correct.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sepherim on 03 Mar 2013, 20:25
Haven't had the right friends in the right places it seems. Poor man.

He did have, but it would have started an internal war between the Ministry on one side, and the Imperial Families and pod pilot corps on the other. Not a road he was willing to take, or he'd have become the enemy of the Empire he always fought against.

Quote
That is outright cruel. Does he receive female visitors? ;)

Hahahah, too true. Nope, I don't think he receives visitors at all. I thought on a couple occasions on bringing him along for important events, but in the end decided not to. His story is complete and closed, time for new stories.

Quote from: Ciarente
Lots of stuff

110 % agreed. Couldn't have said it better.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sepherim on 03 Mar 2013, 20:31
The only time I'd consider it not legitimate is if being lesbian/gay/xenophiliac is the only aspect of the character. It's perfectly fine to have these aspects, and you can even make them main aspects if you want, but if the only thing you use to describe the character is that she's a lesbian... It's just not very interesting. What else is she, in addition to being attracted to other females?

This doesn't apply only to sexual preferences either. You can ask the same question about a person who calls themselves a soldier. "Ok, what kind of soldier? Why did they want to join the military/militia? How do they view their opponents? What is their fighting style? How long have they been fighting? What, if anything, do they do concerning the people they've killed? Have they lost any friends in the line of duty?" So on and so forth. Summing a character up into one word, be it soldier, scientist, patriot, conservative, lesbian, hedonist, or anything else, doesn't provide enough flavor. It's the, "I am 'X', and also 'Y' and 'Z' " that gives characters depth, makes them interesting. (Also beware of trying to wear too many hats. As the Buddha would say, not enough is bad, but so is too much)

Yes, to me too, this is the key. A person is not just 1 thing, it's a complex sum of different roles to have with different people: can be an employee, a husband, a father, etc. If it only is one thing, it's not realistic, be it a lesbian, a soldier, or any other just one role. And it is also boring to interact with.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Halete on 04 Mar 2013, 06:51
Like several people in this thread, my main (one of three characters that I RP) became a 'space lesbian' through evolution of her development and it wasn't a decision that I made when penning the character out (or even infact until a year after her conception and gameplay).

I dislike the assumptions that people immediately make about lesbian characters in EVE, especially the notion that male players who play lesbian characters must be fantasists (particularly as I'm gender-queer IRL and rank 4 on the Kinsey scale at most times).

It kind of is a pain but it's just that, a nuisance. I mean - I don't feel like my RP should be any more valid if I played a heterosexual, but it feels that way sometimes.

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Uraniae on 04 Mar 2013, 09:23
Bit late to the party but here we go.  Uraniae is, in some sense of the term, a space lesbian as well.  Like some others have mentioned, she also just "became" one through her RP by happy accident.  I didn't draw up any concrete plans on her sexuality when I made her, and eventually she simply happened to develop romantic feelings for a person she didn't expect.  I'll go into a little more detail on that in a moment but for now I'll say that I don't think I've ever seen or felt any (serious) derogatory or dismissive intent when I've seen the term used.  I've actually had a few conversations in game with various people who, when they found out who Ura's love interest is, made the joke about "Oh no, not another space lesbian."  All in all, everyone that has brought it up in a more serious sense has done so mostly to caution and advise that Ura doesn't become one of those space lesbians that has a relationship that only lasts a few days or weeks and uses it as some sort of huge and overly-dramatic RP hook.

Now, I can safely say that the starting point for Ura's attraction to another woman for a serious relationship began in a short RP event.  Cliche as it might be the situation was very much influenced by stories like Enemy Mine.  Ura and her love interest started out, quite literally at each others throats.  Myself and the other player wanted to find a way for both characters to be forced to see past preconceptions and first impressions.  But with the catalyst of being forced to rely upon one another they both developed some mutual respect for each other.  Eventually, with some more development, that ended up becoming a relationship.

Now, even with that sort of beginning I do think I've done a decent job at downplaying the relationship in the public eye.  I do not believe I've ever held up Ura's lover as any sort of attention seeking "look at me" tool.  Heck, I think a good many friends of Ura's don't even know she is in a relationship, let alone engaged to another woman.  Of course I may not be the best person to speak about serious RP relationships.  People talk about accidental space lesbians, but I've played out accidental marriages.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Synthia on 04 Mar 2013, 14:18
A Space Lesbian is a lesbian that is in space.

The term, as I have seen it used OOC, denotes a character whose main recognisable feature is their sexuality. It is used to tease people at best, irritate them, or to denigrate them.

It is also used IC.

Synthia has been warned about Space Lesbians, in the course of her experiment with the Righteous/Unrighteous Dress.
Synthia is Unsure what a Space Lesbian actually is. She is occasionally Worried that various persons are one.


If the term bothers people, then it's no big deal if I stop using it.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Morwen Lagann on 04 Mar 2013, 14:34
I've sort of held off on posting in here for a bit partly out of laziness, but I guess as my name's come up at least a couple times I should throw in my own couple of cents septims ISK.

When I originally put things together for Morwen as a character, I deliberately chose not to give her any sexual preferences because I wanted to focus on other aspects of the character, and figured that if I felt like dicking around with an RP relationship in EVE (pun intended), I would just let things evolve naturally from everything else already written into the character from the start. (Which I suppose in some way could be considered making her explicitly bisexual, but that's not really important.)

Which is what happened, like for Katrina and Uraniae and Halete. The first thing that tends to catch Morwen's interest or eye is intellect, followed by attitude and a capability for mutual respect. Physical attributes rarely harm her view of someone, all other things equal. Some other aspects of her personality may or may not come into play here as well; I'll refrain from listing them though, no need to give spoilers. A(n unfortunate) side effect of this list of preferences is that many male characters disqualify themselves from this sort of interest because they don't give the impression that they actually meet any of those requirements (even if they actually do!). If there's no bait, the fish usually won't bite - so if they do too good a job at hiding these attributes, she'll just pay them no mind. (Amusingly, this is true for a lot of female characters too, but that's beside the point.)

Following that, after Simca's IC 'death', Erys (again a female) was not the first per se (since now I had two years of meeting people behind me)... but she was certainly the one who ended up spending the most consistent time roleplaying with me from an OOC standpoint. Online every day at the same time, offering impressive dialogue and character development, and helping me work through the storyline mess that became of Katrina. Simply put, with all the effort Erys put into working with me during those weeks, we allowed our characters to being interested to ensure continued development.

My character became involved in homosexual relationships because the players behind the characters offered me what I was looking for in the right amounts at the right time. MY character stinll has romantic interests in plenty of males. Kiruss Dasun, Pieter, Stitcher, John in a platonic way, Valdezi, and even Tiberius in a small way. All males, and all people she was/is interested in. Kiruss is taken, Pieter is taken, Stitcher is taken, John is her boss, Valdezi treats her like a sister, and Tiberious is a toaster. If the situations were different, they could have been her next partner.

These two paragraphs sum up a lot of the situation for me with Morwen. After a couple short-lived and messy (sometimes in traumatic ways) relationships, she ended up staying with some close friends for a while to destress. The combination of overlapping online time, conversations and other character development pushed her and one of those friends together. It wasn't the intent (not even IC) walking in; it just happened as a result of all of those factors coming together.

They've been together in some form or another for about three years, with a month-long break about a year in, and as Rin spoilered in OOC a few days ago (shame on you), recently got engaged. Going back to Morwen's 'checklist' for a moment, this person was smart (if naïve at times), had an attitude and outlook on life that was compatible with Morwen's (and allowed her to express herself in various ways she'd not had the opportunity to do before), and respected her as an equal.

As for the second paragraph, Aldrith in particular knows full well he's on Morwen's list, both IC and OOC. If he hadn't already been courting (or courted by, the jury's still out on that one :P) Mitara at the time, and if she hadn't already been in a relationship, it's possible she would've given serious chase to him. (She still likes teasing him about it on occasion, and being in the same solar system as him drives Mitara absolutely nuts, because she knows.) There are a few other people who I could see her being compatible with had some stuff happened differently - Vince for example; if not for a series of events that gave them 50 million reasons to hate each other, they'd otherwise be pretty compatible. :lol: There might be a few others, but I prefer to make people dig to find the others. >.>

Cia made an amazing post a little while back which I agree with 110%. I still feel obligated to point out that (despite Cia's insistence that there's "no need to ruin a good argument with facts, morlag") in many of the cases where "lolspacelesbian" jokes are made at Morwen's expense, I'm the one doing it. ;)

In general, if I use the term, I'm using it to refer to the (as Cia puts it) "shallow characters who appear to be nothing more than blank dolls manipulated into a series of sexual encounters by players with little interest in, or understanding of, the validity of GLBTI experience and desire", who, imo, are the source of any "spacelesbian problem" that may or may not exist. Those of us for whom the "lesbian" or "bisexual" or whatever aspect of our characters is entirely secondary to other things like "musician" or "pirate" or "faction loyalist" or "mother", should not be lumped in with that group. It is not a defining characteristic - it is just an added piece of the puzzle.

Also, like Uraniae, Morwen's trying to downplay/not to make a big deal of her relationship in public, partly because she doesn't consider it anyone else's business or appropriate for public discussion, but also because there are far more interesting things to talk about in most situations. It occasionally gets referenced in passing (like taking a pillow to the back of the head from across the room when she's up late talking to people instead of, you know, sleeping), but even then that's generally in private among friends who already know her. There's also that she is usually amused by people trying to hit on her, even if she'd never actually admit it to anyone - who's going to try if they know you're not available? (Aside from Sid, of course. :lol: )


Someone mentioned ERP earlier (Nico iirc). I think that might actually be worth a discussion on its own (we may have a few existing threads already, in fact), but the tl;dr on my perspective there is that I strongly prefer to avoid it, except in the very rare cases where it will provide useful character or plot development, and all involved parties agree with that fact. Otherwise, if it's clear that hanky-panky-kiss-and-spanky is going to happen and it's not going to include/involve anything that would affect anyone in ways that need to be dealt with or hashed out, just fade to black and call the scene a wrap. No need to waste time if you already know the outcome. (Pun retroactively intended.)

... Jesus that turned out to be a bigger wall of text than intended. Whoops. :oops:
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Vincent Pryce on 04 Mar 2013, 14:45
There are a few other people who I could see her being compatible with had some stuff happened differently - Vince for example; if not for a series of events that gave them 50 million reasons to hate each other, they'd otherwise be pretty compatible. :lol:

We have lolled about this many-a-times OOCly with Morlag. They would've been scarily compatible.  :lol:

Also if there was +1 or a "like" button to push for Cia's posts I would push them so hard there'd be earthquakes at the magical land of Oz.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 04 Mar 2013, 14:50
I should point out some side notes on downplaying or otherwise hiding relationships.

I consider myself lucky I rolled Caldari. Katrina IC has many cultural reasons to not speak about her relationships. Keep it in the bedroom, be tactful, etc... Even more so because she is engaged in a homosexual one. There are very very few times when she will (of her own accord and actions) flaunt the fact that she is partnered to Erys or formerly Simca. It doesn't come up in conversation, and when it does, she tends to try and be discrete about it. Unless she's drunk.

But, some of you will notice in retrospect now, that with the exception of my private OOC channel, I don't talk about Katrina's relationships much. The reason is that I am always consciously trying to avoid the spacelesbian trope. I try not to talk about it, because of the stereotype. If I were playing a Gallente or Minmatar, those OOC reasons could be the only ones I have for not speaking about it IC.

This is why I'm lucky I rolled Caldari, because her culture allows me to avoid having to mention it IC.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: kalaratiri on 04 Mar 2013, 14:54
In general, if I use the term, I'm using it to refer to the (as Cia puts it) "shallow characters who appear to be nothing more than blank dolls manipulated into a series of sexual encounters by players with little interest in, or understanding of, the validity of GLBTI experience and desire", who, imo, are the source of any "spacelesbian problem" that may or may not exist. Those of us for whom the "lesbian" or "bisexual" or whatever aspect of our characters is entirely secondary to other things like "musician" or "pirate" or "faction loyalist" or "mother", should not be lumped in with that group. It is not a defining characteristic - it is just an added piece of the puzzle.

Soo much exactly this. For close to a year before Kala even looked at anyone in a romantic way (male or female) she was deeply involved in supporting the Republic. Her first relationship began at the same time that she moved corps to support the Republic in a more direct way (FW). When that broke down, she moved into another corp, again, Republic supporting. Her next relationship was with her best friend (a fantastic idea and I highly recommend! :lol:) who also supports the Republic.

In fact, the only time Kala has ever not been actively involved in supporting the Republic was after the breakdown of her first relationship when she ran away to live with Morwen for a few months  ;)

On a different note, and in a kind-of response to Kat's post, Kala has never been shy about her sexuality (except right at the start when it was a bit of a surprise even to her) and has never hidden it. This is, I will admit, partly my OOC influence, but also because I don't see Minmatar culture as caring very much who you're sleeping with, unless they're enemy clan/Amarr/race traitor or something like that.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Morwen Lagann on 04 Mar 2013, 15:11
In fact, the only time Kala has ever not been actively involved in supporting the Republic was after the breakdown of her first relationship when she ran away to live with Morwen for a few months  ;)

And I will personally state for the record that absolutely nothing of note occurred during this time, because Kala mostly kept to herself the entire time. :P

In response to Katrina - Morwen's in a similar position due to where she lives, as well. Regardless of whether same-sex relationships are approved of or frowned upon in the Kingdom and/or Empire, Morwen is still an "outsider" to most people there despite being an active contributor to her community and working very hard to blend in. Many locals in positions of importance likely would (read: do) frown upon her relationship with a local Holder on that fact alone, and in fact this is why it was mostly kept hidden/quiet for the first three or four months after she moved in, with her posing as some combination of official-seeming roles to explain her presence around the estates and at Important Events.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: kalaratiri on 04 Mar 2013, 15:22
In fact, the only time Kala has ever not been actively involved in supporting the Republic was after the breakdown of her first relationship when she ran away to live with Morwen for a few months  ;)

And I will personally state for the record that absolutely nothing of note occurred during this time, because Kala mostly kept to herself the entire time. :P

That 7.5+ khanid navy standing didn't grind itself >_>
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lyn Farel on 04 Mar 2013, 15:30
I should point out some side notes on downplaying or otherwise hiding relationships.

I consider myself lucky I rolled Caldari. Katrina IC has many cultural reasons to not speak about her relationships. Keep it in the bedroom, be tactful, etc... Even more so because she is engaged in a homosexual one. There are very very few times when she will (of her own accord and actions) flaunt the fact that she is partnered to Erys or formerly Simca. It doesn't come up in conversation, and when it does, she tends to try and be discrete about it. Unless she's drunk.

But, some of you will notice in retrospect now, that with the exception of my private OOC channel, I don't talk about Katrina's relationships much. The reason is that I am always consciously trying to avoid the spacelesbian trope. I try not to talk about it, because of the stereotype. If I were playing a Gallente or Minmatar, those OOC reasons could be the only ones I have for not speaking about it IC.

This is why I'm lucky I rolled Caldari, because her culture allows me to avoid having to mention it IC.

Well, you can also be gallentean and be quite prudish.

But a prudish culture sure can help.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Vieve on 04 Mar 2013, 16:06
Well, you can also be gallentean and be quite prudish.

That you can. Or seemingly candid without actually saying a darned thing.
 
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sakura Nihil on 04 Mar 2013, 16:23
A few comments on this:

- I think it is likely that a large number of female characters aren't lesbian, per say, but rather are bisexual.  After all, we're in a day and age IRL where emphasis is placed on "be with the person you love" regardless of their gender, at least in a good portion of the world.  That trend only seems to be accelerating, so I find it hard to believe that said attitude hasn't become the norm by the time of EVE in the far, far future.  Especially as the primary goal of male-female relationships would be to create and raise children - with medical advancements, very little gets in the way of having children of your own, even in a homosexual relationship.  At least today with the help of surrogates and donors, that is.

- A large number of these bisexual women find relationships with other females due to the lack of suitable males out there, which tends to give rise to the theory that lesbian relationships are the norm when in fact they've just evolved due to supply and demand.  It's kind of a cold perspective, but it makes sense - take Sak, for instance.  She's got an outwardly assertive (if not bitchy) attitude, a major grudge against Amarrians, and doesn't want to consider any Blooder or Nation affiliate due to valid concerns (like being blooded, implanted (in the cybernetic way, you gutterminds!), et cetera).  When you knock those individuals off the list, along with those who are already in relationships or who are otherwise unsuitable (like major drug addicts, wimpy men, assholes, stalkers, et cetera), the pool of available males is dangerously low.  Comparitively, the pool of women is larger, and they tend to be more friendly and easier to strike up a chat with.  Consequently, her relationships tend to be with other women.

- One way to reverse this seemingly omnipresent trend is to get more male characters into the game, more types like Pieter, Stitcher, or Tibs (if he wasn't a toaster).  These guys tend to be magnets for female characters because they're generally pretty polite, intelligent, and even-keeled, and if there were more of their types in the game, I suspect the "Space Lesbian" label would apply to far fewer female characters.

That said, I think anyone who tosses that label out maliciously at people should grow up.  I've seen it thrown Sak's way a few times by a certain individual (who shall remain nameless), after she rejected his creepy pass at her.  It's nothing more than another form of the ever-common "my RP is superior to yours!" attitude, and we should attempt to minimalize its use in the community.  Even though I myself twitch and get tempted to use it every time I see a disposable, busty Gallente alt being used as a virtual sex doll.

Let's show some tolerance for character development here, and try to get some more good male characters into the RP scene.  After all, you don't see me calling people "Space Ahabs" if I see them talking about their backstory of "slavers/pirates/other killed my parents, I want revenge".  Tolerance, people.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lyn Farel on 04 Mar 2013, 16:48
Well I am still quite mitigated on the "suitable males are rare". Maybe there are slightly less of them than females, and even probably, but to the point of being rare... ? Or maybe they just are unsuitable to the very specific tastes of fermale characters ? Or maybe males RPers playing female characters are looking for something very specific ? Or even something that doesn't match the male present demographics ?

Understand me, I am not trying to say that your point is not valid (quite the contrary) since it mostly stems from personnal experience, but my personnal experience is pretty explicit on the matter. Nobody is ever going to tell me that Lyn is a femme fatale or anything closely related. You can't make someone more prudish and stuck up on such a matter to the point to run away rather than face even the slighest hint of romance, and sometimes even when it does not even concerns her. And yet she has had several people interested in her (Vince will confirm how it ended).

All were males. Most of them, interesting and suitable ones. She even almost started a relation one year ago, so I am not sure what to say.

Weirdly enough also, no female proposals or interests so far, period. Or well hidden because I have not noticed any so far.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 04 Mar 2013, 17:10
Someone mentioned ERP earlier (Nico iirc).
I think that Saede mentioned 'ERP' first in a response to a post that can be read to imply that 'space lesbians' are overly promiscuous and mere tools for cheap cyber-sex. Also, that this is a bad thing.

I think that might actually be worth a discussion on its own (we may have a few existing threads already, in fact), but the tl;dr on my perspective there is that I strongly prefer to avoid it, except in the very rare cases where it will provide useful character or plot development, and all involved parties agree with that fact. Otherwise, if it's clear that hanky-panky-kiss-and-spanky is going to happen and it's not going to include/involve anything that would affect anyone in ways that need to be dealt with or hashed out, just fade to black and call the scene a wrap. No need to waste time if you already know the outcome. (Pun retroactively intended.)
While I think that one can have a discussion on it's own about it, I think that the discussion about 'space lesbians' is tied into it. There also seems to be the idea that people playing such 'space lesbians' to play out their fantasies are by necessity people that see only objects of desire in woman, not subjects having such desires. I think that is a prejudice that is certainly grounded in (probably bad) experiences, but a prejudice none the less and not even necessarily a well founded one. That's why I chimed in on it: I think it's not warrented to label chars as 'space lesbians' if one means that those are men who just want to objectify woman for their sexual gratification.

As some people in here said, maybe behind the front of that lascivious 'space lesbian' stereotype there is not a woman-degrading pervert, but someone young who is trying to find his/her sexual identity. One can't see what the people behind the chars think and feel, yet some people seem to have little problem with ascribing ulterior motives without even trying to check the individual case.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Morwen Lagann on 04 Mar 2013, 18:32
She might have - to be fair I started from the posts I was already planning to respond to (Kat and Cia's) and worked my way backwards, and yoinked the first one I saw, which ended up being yours. :P

I don't disagree that they are tied in some manner, but the whole cyber/ERP debate isn't exclusive to this subject in particular, which is my reason for suggesting that perhaps if we're going to wander off to talk about that explicitly, a second thread might be in order. :)

Also to clarify the position made a couple paragraphs before that - I'm not saying that those people are doing it wrong.

What I am trying (and possibly failing) to suggest is that whether those players/characters are doing anything wrong or not, the people whose characters are not like them are being associated with their actions, and they do not care for it. If someone wants to use EVE RP as a conduit for exploring their own sexuality, they should go right ahead and do so - I would agree that in many cases it's a safer environment to experiment in. However, these characters can be difficult for many people to take seriously. And for people whose characters aren't defined primarily by their sexuality, it is highly irritating to be lumped in with those characters because people decide to go "oh, they're not straight, MUST BE A SPACE LESBIAN", and then never actually pay attention to the actual attributes that define the character, and only focus on that.

If someone wants to have a character like that, they should go right ahead. It would just be nice if people would stop associating the two kinds of characters with each other when they really aren't anything alike.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Rhiannon on 04 Mar 2013, 18:58
The term I'm more familiar with is "mensbian"/"mansbian" a portmanteau of "men" or "man" and "lesbian" and refers to a man (almost exclusively heterosexual) playing a lesbian character. Unfortunately its exceptionally rare for heterosexual cisgender men to have any interest in playing a realistic homosexual character. Usually the reasons can be boiled down to three:


They're not really playing, or even trying to play a homosexual character. They're playing a 'lesbian' character straight out of porn. Which is precisely the reason why most of them engage in ERP or just straight cybersex.

However, in their defense:

Women are known to have much more fluid sexuality than men do, so it actually makes sense that you'd at least see more bisexual women than you would men and real-life statistics back this up. Unfortunately most mensbians don't bother trying to play a bisexual woman because of #3 above.

I actually don't consider "space lesbian" to be completely synonymous with mensbian. There's some (okay, a lot) of overlap to be sure, but unfortunately even a character that's intended to be bisexual will tend to get pigeonholed by others as being lesbian, simply because there's a more varied and numerous pool of female suitors than male ones.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Saede Riordan on 04 Mar 2013, 19:29
Quote
- One way to reverse this seemingly omnipresent trend is to get more male characters into the game, more types like Pieter, Stitcher, or Tibs (if he wasn't a toaster).  These guys tend to be magnets for female characters because they're generally pretty polite, intelligent, and even-keeled, and if there were more of their types in the game, I suspect the "Space Lesbian" label would apply to far fewer female characters.

This is definitely very true in my character's case, curse you Nicole Graves for getting to Stitcher first.

Saede is interesting. She's a fairly sexualized character all things considered. Just as a product of her upbringing, she's rather openly promiscuous and openly bisexual. She often comes off as closer to space-lesbian at least partly because the above is magnified in that context to some degree, but she really isn't picky. The other thing about Saede is that I tried to play her as being rather agendered. I figured if I was going to play a queer character, that I would do them and myself justice and play them as queer in more ways then just who they'd sleep with.

Something that as a member of the LGBT community that I find a bit =/ in regards to people who would often fall into the space lesbian trope, is that they seem to just play standard heteronormative women, who just happen to like other women. There's a lot more to being LGBT then that. So someone's playing a lesbian character. What I want to know if thats the case are why aren't there any butch lesbians? Why aren't there genderqueer and agendered characters?

I feel that the typical person we associate with being a 'space lesbian' is less an actual person and more an consolidated amalgamation of fantasies. I think though that there is a better term for that sort of player then space lesbian, that applies to more of the character's that fit that trope, and has the added benefit of not making lesbians specifically, look bad "Mary Sue."
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 04 Mar 2013, 19:42
Something that as a member of the LGBT community that I find a bit =/ in regards to people who would often fall into the space lesbian trope, is that they seem to just play standard heteronormative women, who just happen to like other women. There's a lot more to being LGBT then that. So someone's playing a lesbian character. What I want to know if thats the case are why aren't there any butch lesbians? Why aren't there genderqueer and agendered characters?

I don't play Katrina to be a lesbian, so I don't put much thought into trying to play an accurate lesbian. I play her to be a Caldari beset on all sides by the conflict between personal ambition, duty to the collective good, emotional trauma, and smaller character quirks. That she's with another woman is a side note.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 04 Mar 2013, 20:06
She might have - to be fair I started from the posts I was already planning to respond to (Kat and Cia's) and worked my way backwards, and yoinked the first one I saw, which ended up being yours. :P

I don't disagree that they are tied in some manner, but the whole cyber/ERP debate isn't exclusive to this subject in particular, which is my reason for suggesting that perhaps if we're going to wander off to talk about that explicitly, a second thread might be in order. :)

Also to clarify the position made a couple paragraphs before that - I'm not saying that those people are doing it wrong.

What I am trying (and possibly failing) to suggest is that whether those players/characters are doing anything wrong or not, the people whose characters are not like them are being associated with their actions, and they do not care for it. If someone wants to use EVE RP as a conduit for exploring their own sexuality, they should go right ahead and do so - I would agree that in many cases it's a safer environment to experiment in. However, these characters can be difficult for many people to take seriously. And for people whose characters aren't defined primarily by their sexuality, it is highly irritating to be lumped in with those characters because people decide to go "oh, they're not straight, MUST BE A SPACE LESBIAN", and then never actually pay attention to the actual attributes that define the character, and only focus on that.

If someone wants to have a character like that, they should go right ahead. It would just be nice if people would stop associating the two kinds of characters with each other when they really aren't anything alike.
+1
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Vieve on 04 Mar 2013, 20:13
Well I am still quite mitigated on the "suitable males are rare". Maybe there are slightly less of them than females, and even probably, but to the point of being rare... ?


I'm curious about that belief as well.   Granted, my characters might have scarred some of them for life, but sheesh, they kept their hands off Amarr and Minmatar, so there could be plenty left to go around.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Gesakaarin on 05 Mar 2013, 04:09
I decided to play a Caldari and a homosexual only because I thought it would be a good idea at the time (curse you vodka redbulls) to explore what it's like to be sexually repressed due to the apparent latent homophobia prevalent in the State.

Yes, sometimes even self-loathing and never matching the ideals of your peers can be an interesting concept to try and play out.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lyn Farel on 05 Mar 2013, 07:33
I also wonder if the choice of IC partners is maybe easier for a male player to be attracted to women characters, which can lead to space lesbians, actually.

I am not speaking about ERP or pure sexual attraction here. Just more romantic things.

Maybe male players have a harder time to be attracted to... males, so it becomes easier for said players to go in the female direction, even when playing females ?

I personally just tend to find the relationship important and attractive myself, rather than the other character.

I decided to play a Caldari and a homosexual only because I thought it would be a good idea at the time (curse you vodka redbulls) to explore what it's like to be sexually repressed due to the apparent latent homophobia prevalent in the State.

Yes, sometimes even self-loathing and never matching the ideals of your peers can be an interesting concept to try and play out.

That's actually a good justification for it, I think, that can lead to interesting things.

I would love to see the first player trying to make an homosexual Amarr male priest. Ohlol the drama.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ember Vykos on 05 Mar 2013, 08:01
... For some, like Kat (or so it sounds, do correct me if I'm wrong), it's wasn't a planned aspect. It just sort of evolved, ...

You are correct.

It was also the same for Simca. And to reference something Kat said earlier I didn't really take him under my wing, or at least I never really saw it that way. The relationship Simca had with Katrina was my first foray into the whole ERP/lets try a relationship in a game aspect of RP. Simca had done a few things with Seri, but that was pretty much it and I did flirt with the idea of trying a relationship with him. From my POV SimKat evolved quite naturally even if a bit fast, but I think that's mostly due to it being a game and not a 'real' relationship.

I doubt I will have such a relationship on my new character when I return, or even continue one on Simca if I were to bring her back, which I may do in an OOC fashion to use for missions/incursions while my new main is in most likely gonna be in FW. SimKat was a lot of fun for me and I don't regret it, but I've explored that aspect of RP and while I won't say explicitly it wont happen again it's not something I'm looking to have on any future characters be them male or female. I wanted to try a relationship out to see what it was like since I never did so with Ember, and the ERP kinda came along with it. It was fun and it also filled a void in a way since it had been a long time since I'd been in an actual relationship, but I never started out with that intention.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 05 Mar 2013, 09:04
I also wonder if the choice of IC partners is maybe easier for a male player to be attracted to women characters, which can lead to space lesbians, actually.

I am not speaking about ERP or pure sexual attraction here. Just more romantic things.

Maybe male players have a harder time to be attracted to... males, so it becomes easier for said players to go in the female direction, even when playing females ?

I personally just tend to find the relationship important and attractive myself, rather than the other character.

Well, studies would imply that while lesbianism and bisexuality among females is more accepted in western societies and thus publicly more present, homosexuality as well as bisexuality and homo-erotic encounters at least are more prevalent phenomena among men than females. (See for example the famous Kinsey studies and their findings on bisexuality (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/research/ak-data.html#bisexuality) and homosexuality (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/research/ak-data.html#homosexuality).)

This goes together with males being in general more sexually active and society leaning to high sexual activity being more accepted among males and less so among females.

So, while apparently it's okay for males to be openly promiscuous with females, there seems to be social pressure not to be open about any homo-erotic desires. This might be a reason why people in a RP environment choose to take up the chance of the lesbian relationship that as allows them to to explore homo-eroticism and being open about it in a way that is more acceptable to their (non-internet) social environment and maybe circumvents barriers of shame that have been formed by said social pressure.

Also, in my observations, there is a prevalence among 'space lesbians' - whether it be the stereotypical ones that have no defining other characteristics or those that happened to end up 'accidentally' being one - for strong, assertive (either sexually or non-sexually or both) behavior. While in the case of the 'stereotypical space lesbian' the resulting overt sexual promiscuity is often attributed to males wanting to turn females into sexual objects, I think that given the broader picture one as to acknowledge that this is (merely?) the expected form of expressing 'strong' and 'assertive' behavior patterns with a "character" that focuses on sexuality. Therefore I rather see a longing for woman, that are - sexually as well as otherwise - self-determined and active, represented in the 'space lesbian' slice of our community. I think that's far from "objectifying women in pursuit of sexual desires".
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Rhiannon on 05 Mar 2013, 09:14
I also wonder if the choice of IC partners is maybe easier for a male player to be attracted to women characters, which can lead to space lesbians, actually.

I am not speaking about ERP or pure sexual attraction here. Just more romantic things.

Maybe male players have a harder time to be attracted to... males, so it becomes easier for said players to go in the female direction, even when playing females ?

I personally just tend to find the relationship important and attractive myself, rather than the other character.

Well, studies would imply that while lesbianism and bisexuality among females is more accepted in western societies and thus publicly more present, homosexuality as well as bisexuality and homo-erotic encounters at least are more prevalent phenomena among men than females. (See for example the famous Kinsey studies and their findings on bisexuality (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/research/ak-data.html#bisexuality) and homosexuality (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/research/ak-data.html#homosexuality).)

This goes together with males being in general more sexually active and society leaning to high sexual activity being more accepted among males and less so among females.

So, while apparently it's okay for males to be openly promiscuous with females, there seems to be social pressure not to be open about any homo-erotic desires. This might be a reason why people in a RP environment choose to take up the chance of the lesbian relationship that as allows them to to explore homo-eroticism and being open about it in a way that is more acceptable to their (non-internet) social environment and maybe circumvents barriers of shame that have been formed by said social pressure.

Also, in my observations, there is a prevalence among 'space lesbians' - whether it be the stereotypical ones that have no defining other characteristics or those that happened to end up 'accidentally' being one - for strong, assertive (either sexually or non-sexually or both) behavior. While in the case of the 'stereotypical space lesbian' the resulting overt sexual promiscuity is often attributed to males wanting to turn females into sexual objects, I think that given the broader picture one as to acknowledge that this is (merely?) the expected form of expressing 'strong' and 'assertive' behavior patterns with a "character" that focuses on sexuality. Therefore I rather see a longing for woman, that are - sexually as well as otherwise - self-determined and active, represented in the 'space lesbian' slice of our community. I think that's far from "objectifying women in pursuit of sexual desires".

+1 to all of that. I wasn't sure how to address the socialization aspect of it in my original post.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Morwen Lagann on 05 Mar 2013, 10:14
I decided to play a Caldari and a homosexual only because I thought it would be a good idea at the time (curse you vodka redbulls) to explore what it's like to be sexually repressed due to the apparent latent homophobia prevalent in the State.

Yes, sometimes even self-loathing and never matching the ideals of your peers can be an interesting concept to try and play out.

Suddenly, a lot of the OOC jokes you've been making make more sense. :P

I also wonder if the choice of IC partners is maybe easier for a male player to be attracted to women characters, which can lead to space lesbians, actually.

I am not speaking about ERP or pure sexual attraction here. Just more romantic things.

Maybe male players have a harder time to be attracted to... males, so it becomes easier for said players to go in the female direction, even when playing females ?
In my case, Morwen's actually my first non-heterosexual character over a number of years of RPing in various games. Done a number of 'straight' characters both male and female, some of whom had relationships, but this was the first time I explicitly said from the beginning, "don't make any note of it, just let it come on its own through RP." I'm not really surprised by the result but I don't mind it either. Learning experience and all that.

I personally just tend to find the relationship important and attractive myself, rather than the other character.

This. So much.

I would love to see the first player trying to make an homosexual Amarr male priest. Ohlol the drama.

I'd like to see it done without being a caricature of the shit going on in the real world. Unfortunately that might be an unreasonable thing to hope for. :\

Nico: I think that goes back to the last post I wrote. I'd feel comfortable guessing that most of women (characters) who are strong and assertive outside of the realm of sexuality fall into the "don't call us space lesbians" group, whereas most of those for whom sexuality is the focus of the strong/assertive behavior fall into the "lol space lesbians" category that the other group doesn't want to be associated with.

That said, there are lots of strong-and-assertive-outside-of-sexuality women of varying orientations running around ingame (I can think of a handful who frequent the Summit offhand, for example). They may just not be immediately visible depending on where/when you RP.

EDIT - Thought that goes back to my original post. A lot of the strong and assertive women may choose to look on "their side of the aisle" so to speak because many male characters don't come across as having personalities that are compatible with women who are strong and assertive and stand up for themselves. To me, I think one of the things we're lacking more than any other is male characters who, while strong and assertive in their own right, are not intimidated by and are able to respect women who are the same way.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 05 Mar 2013, 10:34
I would love to see the first player trying to make an homosexual Amarr male priest. Ohlol the drama.

I'd like to see it done without being a caricature of the shit going on in the real world. Unfortunately that might be an unreasonable thing to hope for. :\
It's bound to be 'space-catholic child molester' drama, really, whether the person depicts the char as such or not. Unfortunately.

Nico: I think that goes back to the last post I wrote. I'd feel comfortable guessing that most of women (characters) who are strong and assertive outside of the realm of sexuality fall into the "don't call us space lesbians" group, whereas most of those for whom sexuality is the focus of the strong/assertive behavior fall into the "lol space lesbians" category that the other group doesn't want to be associated with.

That said, there are lots of strong-and-assertive-outside-of-sexuality women of varying orientations running around ingame (I can think of a handful who frequent the Summit offhand, for example). They may just not be immediately visible depending on where/when you RP.

EDIT - Thought that goes back to my original post. A lot of the strong and assertive women may choose to look on "their side of the aisle" so to speak because many male characters don't come across as having personalities that are compatible with women who are strong and assertive and stand up for themselves. To me, I think one of the things we're lacking more than any other is male characters who, while strong and assertive in their own right, are not intimidated by and are able to respect women who are the same way.

I agree.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Saede Riordan on 05 Mar 2013, 11:39
Quote from: Merwern
Nico: I think that goes back to the last post I wrote. I'd feel comfortable guessing that most of women (characters) who are strong and assertive outside of the realm of sexuality fall into the "don't call us space lesbians" group, whereas most of those for whom sexuality is the focus of the strong/assertive behavior fall into the "lol space lesbians" category that the other group doesn't want to be associated with.


I'd like to stop there for a moment and poke at something that has been bothering me. Why is a sexually assertive character considered "lol" and looked down on? I get that it can be done poorly, but I don't think its a good attitude to harbour that if sexuality is considered a character focus that "obviously that person is just trawling for ERP." Sexuality is a major part of people's lives and I see no reason why it could not be part of the focus of a character as long as, as with everything else, its done well and isn't the only aspect of the character. Saede at least is a sex positive, openly promiscuous person, she thinks sex is good and people should have more of it. That's obviously not the only aspect of the character, but it is an aspect, and I don't think its fair to get put into the category of 'lol'

I also find it funny that IRL a lot of strong assertive women are called out as lesbians for not going along with the societal expectations like shaving and such. That's one of the things that people seem to miss sometimes, is that the act of playing a strong assertive female character might cause them as a character to deviate from western conceptions of 'ideal female' and that's something that I think should be addressed a bit. My character doesn't shave her pits and refuses to wear dresses. I think that a lot of male players, who are culturally expected to be dominant and assertive IRL, want their female characters to fit the westernized cultural expectations of femininity, while still being 'allowed' to have the confidence and assertiveness expected of men. I see this as wanting to eat your cake and have it too and it somewhat irritates me. There are complex social norms that dictate the way women behave in our IRL society, especially with things like dress, hygiene, and sexuality. Many of these social norms just seem to have been imported wholesale into New Eden, and people just seem to take them for granted. I would like to see people really stretch outside of those social norms. They're already breaking them just by having women that aren't doormats.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 05 Mar 2013, 11:59
while I see why the one group might not want to besimply thrown in the same pot as the other, I agree with Saede, I don't know why one of them should be thought of as 'lol'. Then, again, I didn't read you, Morwen, as saying that they are, but rather as saying that they are often referred to as such?

As to whether strong, assertive woman need to shave or not, I don't know if there is a relation. A woman can be strong, assertive and attractive regardless of whether she shaves or not, imho. Same goes for men.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Cynthia Gallente on 05 Mar 2013, 12:07
Last night was the first time I saw "space lesbian" used as a derogatory term.
I didn't think that it would bother me, but it did.
You can have a character who has a ton of shit going on.  Getting involved in a lot of aspects...
But suddenly all of that becomes irrelevant and "space lesbian" is the only part that matters, even if your character doesn't use that as the forefront of who they are.
Furthermore why would "space" be part of the term?  Do we call people "earth lesbians?" What's wrong with just using lesbian?  Homosexual?  Not really caring? because it doesn't impact gameplay terribly.

Also there are quite a few nice guys out there, they can be hard to find, but they are certainly there.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Samira Kernher on 05 Mar 2013, 12:13
Quote from: Merwern
Nico: I think that goes back to the last post I wrote. I'd feel comfortable guessing that most of women (characters) who are strong and assertive outside of the realm of sexuality fall into the "don't call us space lesbians" group, whereas most of those for whom sexuality is the focus of the strong/assertive behavior fall into the "lol space lesbians" category that the other group doesn't want to be associated with.


I'd like to stop there for a moment and poke at something that has been bothering me. Why is a sexually assertive character considered "lol" and looked down on? I get that it can be done poorly, but I don't think its a good attitude to harbour that if sexuality is considered a character focus that "obviously that person is just trawling for ERP." Sexuality is a major part of people's lives and I see no reason why it could not be part of the focus of a character as long as, as with everything else, its done well and isn't the only aspect of the character. Saede at least is a sex positive, openly promiscuous person, she thinks sex is good and people should have more of it. That's obviously not the only aspect of the character, but it is an aspect, and I don't think its fair to get put into the category of 'lol'

This. I've previously played characters like this, and it's extremely annoying how much flak you can get for it. Even if you don't actually take it anywhere (keeping it in the background, so to speak), simply adding that attribute to the character gets you all manner of backtalk and rumor-milling.

Any vaguely-sexual female character is going to have a tough time of it, sadly. Whether lesbian, slave (EVE having widespread slavery in its lore makes it somewhat less prominent here, but in other MMO RP the word 'slave' is used in the same negative light as space lesbian), sexually-assertive, etc, there's so many people that misuse it to make it so that those who are trying to treat it seriously have to fight a constant uphill battle.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Vincent Pryce on 05 Mar 2013, 12:26
Furthermore why would "space" be part of the term?  Do we call people "earth lesbians?" What's wrong with just using lesbian?  Homosexual?  Not really caring? because it doesn't impact gameplay terribly.

Because it's fucking funny.  :lol:
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Anslol on 05 Mar 2013, 12:42
Quote from: Merwern
Nico: I think that goes back to the last post I wrote. I'd feel comfortable guessing that most of women (characters) who are strong and assertive outside of the realm of sexuality fall into the "don't call us space lesbians" group, whereas most of those for whom sexuality is the focus of the strong/assertive behavior fall into the "lol space lesbians" category that the other group doesn't want to be associated with.


I'd like to stop there for a moment and poke at something that has been bothering me. Why is a sexually assertive character considered "lol" and looked down on? I get that it can be done poorly, but I don't think its a good attitude to harbour that if sexuality is considered a character focus that "obviously that person is just trawling for ERP." Sexuality is a major part of people's lives and I see no reason why it could not be part of the focus of a character as long as, as with everything else, its done well and isn't the only aspect of the character. Saede at least is a sex positive, openly promiscuous person, she thinks sex is good and people should have more of it. That's obviously not the only aspect of the character, but it is an aspect, and I don't think its fair to get put into the category of 'lol'

This. I've previously played characters like this, and it's extremely annoying how much flak you can get for it. Even if you don't actually take it anywhere (keeping it in the background, so to speak), simply adding that attribute to the character gets you all manner of backtalk and rumor-milling.

Any vaguely-sexual female character is going to have a tough time of it, sadly. Whether lesbian, slave (EVE having widespread slavery in its lore makes it somewhat less prominent here, but in other MMO RP the word 'slave' is used in the same negative light as space lesbian), sexually-assertive, etc, there's so many people that misuse it to make it so that those who are trying to treat it seriously have to fight a constant uphill battle.

OK, I'll start by saying I don't play a space lesbian, but I can't help but resonate with Saede and Samira. The fact is that New Eden is a big place with a lot of different people. The idea that 'lol space lesbian' or 'lol space whore' is even a thing given everything else that happens in this stupid cluster is somewhat mind boggling.

For all we try to talk down urdoinitwrong accusations, there's still the same prevalent whispers and rumor mongering against not just the character, but the player as well. This is not limited to people who play more promiscuous characters, but to anyone who seemingly breaks the norm in general.

I'll plainly state that I made Anslo unique because the opportunity was there. Why would I make another 'normal' capsuleer when I could do something more interesting? I'll get the 'lol plot device' line now and then and I've been told to be more creative. I'm sorry, but who the hell are you to tell me what is and is not creative? We have enough head cases and such running around, why can't we have something a bit off the wall?

The same for more sexually oriented characters. Why should they be looked down on for playing the promiscuous woman in the high heels? Yes sure you can be a bit too blatant about it (we all know what they act like) to the point of near harassment, but that doesn't mean ANY flirtatious or sultry character should just be looked down upon.

Hell, no player should be looked down upon as 'unoriginal,' or looked at as a cop out for their RP. Sex oriented, psycho oriented, experiment oriented, villain oriented, why should ANY of them be looked down on? As long as you aren't god moding every single RP or RPing just to troll the players, you should never, EVER be looked down on for your character or those choices.

This goes not just for space lesbian, but for anyone RPing something new and interesting. No one should be afraid to RP what they like, ever.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Morwen Lagann on 05 Mar 2013, 13:19
You were right, Nico - that's why I used the "".

Because roleplay in EVE is supposedly srsbsns (lol in and of itself, really), things that we have difficulty taking seriously tend to be labeled with "lol" as a prefix.

It is completely possible to portray an openly sexually assertive character, straight or not, male or female, without making it look like the character was ripped straight out of your average porno. (Red Miromme is one of the characters that I can name off the top of my head that, imo, "does it right". She's flirty and playful -aggressively so, in some ways - but she doesn't come across as Voluptuous Gallente Bimbo #4123 when doing so.) The issue here is that so many people that have "sexually assertive" characters do come across as if they were taken from some random porno. That is what makes people refer to them as "lol" - they are difficult for most people to take seriously, just like the porn they feel like they were ripped from.

Let me repeat: I do not have a problem with characters for whom their sexuality is a primary defining attribute. I do not have a problem with characters who are assertive about it either - I mean, Morwen is engaged to someone who used to be like that all the time, FFS. What I do have a problem with is that my character has the behavior and shenanigans of the stereotypical porn-inspired characters unfairly and inaccurately attributed to her.

It comes down to how the characters are portrayed. If the character is portrayed in a manner that doesn't make them look like a straight rip from a porn flick, it is a lot easier to take the character seriously - both from the perspectives of our characters and as players - but when they do look like that... well, that's when people break out the srsbsns masks and the "lol" prefixes.

If one wants to use porn as an inspiration, they should go right ahead. But if one wants to do that and be taken seriously, it will be rather difficult unless they avoid putting that inspiration to use in public places and keep it to the bedroom where it makes sense.

Edit - tl;dr, it's not being sexually assertive in itself that garners one the "lol". It's the portrayal of that assertiveness, and how seriously that portrayal can be taken. Porn stereotypes are not likely to be taken seriously.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Synthia on 05 Mar 2013, 14:08
Synthia: "I have been Informed that an Unrighteous Dress may attract a Space Lesbian"
Summit user A: "what's a spacelesbian, Synthia?"
Synthia: "A space lesbian is a lesbian that is in Space"
Summit user B: "heh, alright, what's a lesbian, Synthia?"
Synthia: "a Lesbian is a Human Woman that likes Other human Women"
Summit user A: "there are non-human women?"
Synthia: "Yes ?"
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 05 Mar 2013, 14:15
Synthia: "I have been Informed that an Unrighteous Dress may attract a Space Lesbian"
Summit user A: "what's a spacelesbian, Synthia?"
Synthia: "A space lesbian is a lesbian that is in Space"
Summit user B: "heh, alright, what's a lesbian, Synthia?"
Synthia: "a Lesbian is a Human Woman that likes Other human Women"
Summit user A: "there are non-human women?"
Synthia: "Yes ?"

As an IC discussion, and coming from Synthia, this doesn't surprise me. She's fairly blunt and naive about things.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lyn Farel on 05 Mar 2013, 14:27
lol, that one was completely silly  :lol:

I would love to see the first player trying to make an homosexual Amarr male priest. Ohlol the drama.

I'd like to see it done without being a caricature of the shit going on in the real world. Unfortunately that might be an unreasonable thing to hope for. :\
It's bound to be 'space-catholic child molester' drama, really, whether the person depicts the char as such or not. Unfortunately.

Yes, my assertion was mostly cynical. It's a shame, really, though. After seeing what Noh is capable of doing it gave me suddenly all sort of weird ideas.

Also, I think you may have nailed the thing I was looking for. Homosexual female chars often tend to be assertive and strong, and so often find each other more easily than males.

Furthermore why would "space" be part of the term?  Do we call people "earth lesbians?" What's wrong with just using lesbian?  Homosexual?  Not really caring? because it doesn't impact gameplay terribly.

Because people in Eve just use "space" as a prefix for almost everything, from space bushido to starcakes. I am not sure it is really related to the lesbian stuff, it's just a way for people to call the lesbians belonging to the eve world/community.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: kalaratiri on 05 Mar 2013, 14:32
Spaaaace Maaaaaaaan
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Iwan Terpalen on 05 Mar 2013, 15:16
Regarding the OP:

I've been using the "spacelesbian" as a convenient handle for the radically skewed gender and orientation phenomenon quite a while now, for basically the same reasons Vince stated; it is amusing to me to see the way many people arrive in roughly the same place, by the same reasoning, and having a term to describe it that made me smile seemed natural.

Amusement without derision, though. While a lot of characters fit the profile, it's not a bad profile by itself. To me, it seems obvious that the "lolspacelesbian" subgenus, the one played purely for the purpose of titillation, is actually quite rare, and the ones we do get tend to not last very long. Taken individually, all the rest are, from what I've seen, actually quite interesting characters.

So, explanation aside, I'm still sorry if I gave a dismissive or negative impression doing so. I'll try to express myself more carefully.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sakura Nihil on 05 Mar 2013, 15:41
Quote from: Merwern
Nico: I think that goes back to the last post I wrote. I'd feel comfortable guessing that most of women (characters) who are strong and assertive outside of the realm of sexuality fall into the "don't call us space lesbians" group, whereas most of those for whom sexuality is the focus of the strong/assertive behavior fall into the "lol space lesbians" category that the other group doesn't want to be associated with.

I'd like to stop there for a moment and poke at something that has been bothering me. Why is a sexually assertive character considered "lol" and looked down on? I get that it can be done poorly, but I don't think its a good attitude to harbour that if sexuality is considered a character focus that "obviously that person is just trawling for ERP." Sexuality is a major part of people's lives and I see no reason why it could not be part of the focus of a character as long as, as with everything else, its done well and isn't the only aspect of the character. Saede at least is a sex positive, openly promiscuous person, she thinks sex is good and people should have more of it. That's obviously not the only aspect of the character, but it is an aspect, and I don't think its fair to get put into the category of 'lol'

This. I've previously played characters like this, and it's extremely annoying how much flak you can get for it. Even if you don't actually take it anywhere (keeping it in the background, so to speak), simply adding that attribute to the character gets you all manner of backtalk and rumor-milling.

It's especially irritating considering that people's responses to it depends on the gender of the character in question.  If it's a man openly trawling for a booty call, he's usually encouraged by onlookers, and the entire situation tends to be seen as comical or "just his nature".  Yet when a woman does it, it seems we're back in the 17th Century, complete with puritan attitudes about how said woman is a slut, should be ashamed of herself, et cetera et cetera.  It's a double standard and it pisses me off to no end.

One other thing to consider - our characters are fairly young, on the whole, probably 18-30 in the majority.  Add in vast power and wealth afforded to them by capsuleer status (and fan clubs?), mix it with poor impulse control, and the fact that we're not throwing drunk debaucheries on a nightly basis astounds me.  EVE: Frat House Edition.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Morwen Lagann on 06 Mar 2013, 10:23
One other thing to consider - our characters are fairly young, on the whole, probably 18-30 in the majority.  Add in vast power and wealth afforded to them by capsuleer status (and fan clubs?), mix it with poor impulse control, and the fact that we're not throwing drunk debaucheries on a nightly basis astounds me.  EVE: Frat House Edition.

We had this twice. Remember Revan's "New Eden's Top Model" competitions? :P

Those were a ton of fun.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sepherim on 06 Mar 2013, 11:17
Actuall, like half of the days in Le Maison would fall into that cathegory. And some other channels too (I think Naphtalia's Black Bunny one had a lot of flirting going on as well, but may be mistaking it with other channel).
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Laerise [PIE] on 06 Mar 2013, 14:21
One other thing to consider - our characters are fairly young, on the whole, probably 18-30 in the majority.  Add in vast power and wealth afforded to them by capsuleer status (and fan clubs?), mix it with poor impulse control, and the fact that we're not throwing drunk debaucheries on a nightly basis astounds me.  EVE: Frat House Edition.

You obviously haven't  come into contact with PIE yet  :lol:
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aldrith Shutaq on 06 Mar 2013, 16:52
I, on the other hand, would more than gladly blow you up! :D

But yeah, going back to the age and maturity levels of capsuleers, Amarrians are a completely different ballpark when compared to the other races. The ages of characters range from 18 to well into their 100's (though 40-60 tends to be most common for older characters). Even most of our youngsters are usually late twenties to mid thirties, right around the age where people start settling down and having families. Plus the whole religion dealio effects their attitudes. If an Amarrian tends to fall to the 'space lesbian' bit they'll probably be a rebellious younger one who doesn't care much for tradition, if not an outright traitor/heretic. I do believe that homosexuality is severely frowned upon in the Empire, even though the only PF that has touched upon it was that one chronicle with the gay priest talking to the Gallente woman.

I do think the culture of the character plays a role in this phenomenon.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 06 Mar 2013, 19:51
If an Amarrian tends to fall to the 'space lesbian' bit they'll probably be a rebellious younger one who doesn't care much for tradition, if not an outright traitor/heretic. I do believe that homosexuality is severely frowned upon in the Empire, even though the only PF that has touched upon it was that one chronicle with the gay priest talking to the Gallente woman.

I do think the culture of the character plays a role in this phenomenon.

I think that Amarrian culture frowns on any display of sexuality in public. Marriage isn't the expression of lasting love or a romantic relationship, imho, but socially the role of it is ensuring the continuation of a family line and building alliances. What happens behind closed doors matters little to that, I think.

That's why an Amarrian that is openly 'space lesbian' would seem out of place, imho.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sepherim on 06 Mar 2013, 20:44
Yeah, I agree with Nicoletta here.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Mitara Newelle on 06 Mar 2013, 21:47
I think that Amarrian culture frowns on any display of sexuality in public. Marriage isn't the expression of lasting love or a romantic relationship, imho, but socially the role of it is ensuring the continuation of a family line and building alliances. What happens behind closed doors matters little to that, I think.
This is what I've been 'taught' by those Amarr before me, and seems perfectly reasonable to me given the culture.  That's not to say love doesn't enter into a marriage, but there is certainly more to it than that. As far as homosexuality goes, again, what happens behind closed doors stays there, it's all about appearances and decorum in public.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ava Starfire on 07 Mar 2013, 08:26
Ava (OOC) is female and straight.

Ava (IC) has been involved in one same-sex relationship and a handful of relationships with men.

Oddly, people seemed to enjoy themselves immensely making fun of me and Kala about it, and it all felt like it was in good spirits.

Ok.

I see a lot of examples when it isnt. It's a thinly veiled "your character sucks." This sort of attitude, especially toward newer RPers, just shoves people away from EVE Rp and makes it even more cliqueish. We dont need that.

Be careful how you say what youre saying and to who. Some characters can start out pretty outlandish. However, some of them will become awesome.

TLDR, be nice.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Tiberious Thessalonia on 07 Mar 2013, 08:58
I think that Amarrian culture frowns on any display of sexuality in public. Marriage isn't the expression of lasting love or a romantic relationship, imho, but socially the role of it is ensuring the continuation of a family line and building alliances. What happens behind closed doors matters little to that, I think.
This is what I've been 'taught' by those Amarr before me, and seems perfectly reasonable to me given the culture.  That's not to say love doesn't enter into a marriage, but there is certainly more to it than that. As far as homosexuality goes, again, what happens behind closed doors stays there, it's all about appearances and decorum in public.

"Look, what you get up to for fun in your spare time is your own business, but you had -better- be pumping out the children and they had -better- be legitimate, kapische?"
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: kalaratiri on 07 Mar 2013, 10:07

Oddly, people seemed to enjoy themselves immensely making fun of me and Kala about it, and it all felt like it was in good spirits.


*looks suspiciously at Morwen*

But yeah, basically this. I've never been on the receiving end of 'nasty' space lesbian comments, only joking ones (either that or I've developed an amazingly thick skin).

On the other hand, Kala/Ava was due to my shamless attempts at seduction! :D Ava(c) was (and as far as I know, still is) quite firmly straight till Kala started waggling her eyebrows   ;)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Mitara Newelle on 07 Mar 2013, 11:06
I think that Amarrian culture frowns on any display of sexuality in public. Marriage isn't the expression of lasting love or a romantic relationship, imho, but socially the role of it is ensuring the continuation of a family line and building alliances. What happens behind closed doors matters little to that, I think.
This is what I've been 'taught' by those Amarr before me, and seems perfectly reasonable to me given the culture.  That's not to say love doesn't enter into a marriage, but there is certainly more to it than that. As far as homosexuality goes, again, what happens behind closed doors stays there, it's all about appearances and decorum in public.

"Look, what you get up to for fun in your spare time is your own business, but you had -better- be pumping out the children and they had -better- be legitimate, kapische?"
/me is doing her part!!!!

:D
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Louella Dougans on 07 Mar 2013, 11:29
I think that Amarrian culture frowns on any display of sexuality in public. Marriage isn't the expression of lasting love or a romantic relationship, imho, but socially the role of it is ensuring the continuation of a family line and building alliances. What happens behind closed doors matters little to that, I think.
This is what I've been 'taught' by those Amarr before me, and seems perfectly reasonable to me given the culture.  That's not to say love doesn't enter into a marriage, but there is certainly more to it than that. As far as homosexuality goes, again, what happens behind closed doors stays there, it's all about appearances and decorum in public.

"Look, what you get up to for fun in your spare time is your own business, but you had -better- be pumping out the children and they had -better- be legitimate, kapische?"

I thought I had covered it alright in my story over in the fiction section.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Davlos on 08 Mar 2013, 08:41
I think that Amarrian culture frowns on any display of sexuality in public. Marriage isn't the expression of lasting love or a romantic relationship, imho, but socially the role of it is ensuring the continuation of a family line and building alliances. What happens behind closed doors matters little to that, I think.
This is what I've been 'taught' by those Amarr before me, and seems perfectly reasonable to me given the culture.  That's not to say love doesn't enter into a marriage, but there is certainly more to it than that. As far as homosexuality goes, again, what happens behind closed doors stays there, it's all about appearances and decorum in public.

"Look, what you get up to for fun in your spare time is your own business, but you had -better- be pumping out the children and they had -better- be legitimate, kapische?"
/me is doing her part!!!!

:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jxU89x78ac
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Vincent Pryce on 08 Mar 2013, 09:19
I think that Amarrian culture frowns on any display of sexuality in public. Marriage isn't the expression of lasting love or a romantic relationship, imho, but socially the role of it is ensuring the continuation of a family line and building alliances. What happens behind closed doors matters little to that, I think.
This is what I've been 'taught' by those Amarr before me, and seems perfectly reasonable to me given the culture.  That's not to say love doesn't enter into a marriage, but there is certainly more to it than that. As far as homosexuality goes, again, what happens behind closed doors stays there, it's all about appearances and decorum in public.

"Look, what you get up to for fun in your spare time is your own business, but you had -better- be pumping out the children and they had -better- be legitimate, kapische?"
/me is doing her part!!!!

:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jxU89x78ac

I could totally see this song play on Caldari State tv :D :D :D
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Laerise [PIE] on 08 Mar 2013, 11:18
Before Heth, maybe... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D_6JWxoC9c)  :P
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Pieter Tuulinen on 08 Mar 2013, 15:50
/me salutes the National Night song.

Ready to embrace my stern Patriotic Duty!
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Uraniae on 08 Mar 2013, 16:22
I've never, to my knowledge, been on the receiving end of any non-playful teasing use of "space lesbian."  In fact I think I/Ura got more finger wagging and disappointing glowers with the shenanigans from the Top Model thing, not to mention showing up at a party with a (handsome and gentlemanly) toaster.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Davlos on 09 Mar 2013, 10:21
I think that Amarrian culture frowns on any display of sexuality in public. Marriage isn't the expression of lasting love or a romantic relationship, imho, but socially the role of it is ensuring the continuation of a family line and building alliances. What happens behind closed doors matters little to that, I think.
This is what I've been 'taught' by those Amarr before me, and seems perfectly reasonable to me given the culture.  That's not to say love doesn't enter into a marriage, but there is certainly more to it than that. As far as homosexuality goes, again, what happens behind closed doors stays there, it's all about appearances and decorum in public.

"Look, what you get up to for fun in your spare time is your own business, but you had -better- be pumping out the children and they had -better- be legitimate, kapische?"
/me is doing her part!!!!

:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jxU89x78ac

I could totally see this song play on Caldari State tv :D :D :D

Now you know what kind of corny shit I have to deal with in my own country. -_-
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Vincent Pryce on 09 Mar 2013, 11:33
I think that Amarrian culture frowns on any display of sexuality in public. Marriage isn't the expression of lasting love or a romantic relationship, imho, but socially the role of it is ensuring the continuation of a family line and building alliances. What happens behind closed doors matters little to that, I think.
This is what I've been 'taught' by those Amarr before me, and seems perfectly reasonable to me given the culture.  That's not to say love doesn't enter into a marriage, but there is certainly more to it than that. As far as homosexuality goes, again, what happens behind closed doors stays there, it's all about appearances and decorum in public.

"Look, what you get up to for fun in your spare time is your own business, but you had -better- be pumping out the children and they had -better- be legitimate, kapische?"
/me is doing her part!!!!

:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jxU89x78ac

I could totally see this song play on Caldari State tv :D :D :D

Now you know what kind of corny shit I have to deal with in my own country. -_-

I feel your pain bro.

PS. Quote Pyramid FTW
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Laerise [PIE] on 09 Mar 2013, 14:41
I think that Amarrian culture frowns on any display of sexuality in public. Marriage isn't the expression of lasting love or a romantic relationship, imho, but socially the role of it is ensuring the continuation of a family line and building alliances. What happens behind closed doors matters little to that, I think.
This is what I've been 'taught' by those Amarr before me, and seems perfectly reasonable to me given the culture.  That's not to say love doesn't enter into a marriage, but there is certainly more to it than that. As far as homosexuality goes, again, what happens behind closed doors stays there, it's all about appearances and decorum in public.

"Look, what you get up to for fun in your spare time is your own business, but you had -better- be pumping out the children and they had -better- be legitimate, kapische?"
/me is doing her part!!!!

:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jxU89x78ac

I could totally see this song play on Caldari State tv :D :D :D

Now you know what kind of corny shit I have to deal with in my own country. -_-

I feel your pain bro.

PS. Quote Pyramid FTW

If you think you have it bad check this out :D (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wIeMcy1bAE)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 12 Mar 2013, 09:19
I was originally going to post this anonymously, but decided against it. I hope everyone can stay respectful and not make personal attacks and try to stay away from 'urdoinitrong' comments...

"Space Lesbians"

We use the term a lot, most of us. Some of us preface our characters by defining whether we are one or not. Some of us jokingly or seriously prod at other characters using the term. Others make judgments about RP based on it, or imply judgments. The word has started to become synonymous with role-play that isn’t serious or as worthwhile as heterosexual or male/male relationships.

But what is a Space Lesbian? Is it simply any character changed in homosexual role-play between two females? Is it the aforementioned type of character but played by a male in RL? Is it suggesting that lesbians in EVE should only be played by actual females? Is it a character whose purpose is primarily sexual? Does it suggest promiscuity?  Does it mean the player is sexually insecure? Is being a space lesbian ‘doinitrong’?

In a way I think the term space lesbian is part of the neo Puritanism and implicit demand for conformity that has come to dominate the game in recent years. Powerful external groups have decided that eve is a terrible roleplaying game and its only acceptable to play in certain ways (tear harvesting, griefing, mockery, deprecating background etc etc) spaceships became Internet spaceships, villainy and honour became e-villainy and e-honour and gender roleplay became space lesbianism. Lets be realistic, without men playing female characters the game universe would look more a prison shower block party, but hetro men being hetro men its easier to roleplay attraction and sex with another female avatar than it is to portray the same towards a male avatar.

95% of players are male.
50% of the avatars
Of those 47.5% of men playing female avatars most are hetro so find it easier to portray attraction to another female avatar.

Is not rocket science simply human nature and preference.

But neo-Puritanism mingled with the deprecation of eve as any kind of roleplay game holds this evident human nature up to mockery and disparagement because that's what all the cool kids are doing. How dare anyone play a character of a different gender, how silly is that? These people would love to see eve as a universe more accurately reflecting ooc gender and would love to mock the prison yard butt-pirate imagery if it ever came to pass. Would mark a critical stage in the devolution of eve the rpg towards simplistic lord of the flies simulator with your enemies and victims filling the role of piggy on the island.

It is powerful though, I wonder myself how many existing characters would change sex and name if CCP delivered a cash payment system for such. I must admit I'd be tempted, for as much background and personality and history I have associated with Jade I must now consider that I don't see much continuing reason or motivation to play her as a female character in the game universe of eve online given cultural leanings and CCP's own apparent disdain for roleplay in their game world.

Quote
The problem with the term 'space lesbian' is that it's become so common and used in a derogatory way that some of us may not realize how offensive it can be. There are many female characters who are involved in serious and monogamous homosexual relationships in EVE played by people who put a lot of effort into their role-play. There are those who are gay or lesbian, or otherwise queer, in real life who could feel bothered by the comment. While it’s understandable that not everybody is accepting of homosexuality, those who are should be more careful when using the term.

Problem is that eve itself has been subsumed into a more mainstream North American young male gamer mindset where casual homophobia and abuse becomes the norm. We get the ostensibly "anarchistic" something awful style where everyone is free to say anything they want and since its on the Internet nothing matters its just an e-insult; freedom to offend, becoming a pretty conservative peer pressure driven drive to conformity, where sure you are free to offend, but if you don't offend the same targets everyone else is offending you'll be ostracised and risk becoming the next target. Absolute freedom quickly becomes absolute tyranny where the strong and the numerous dominate the weak and the minority. Gamer culture is becoming neo Puritanism where minorities are victims and hate figures and abuse is simply a code word for conformity.

I deeply regret the way eve has slipped to the mainstream here. It used to be a game where we had weirdos and bizarre people, our kinks and queers and alternative subcultures, gays, straights, cross dressers and virtual prostitutes rubbing shoulders with fanatics, politicians, anarchists, loyalists, soldiers, mercenaries and pirates and it felt, it genuinely felt like some outworld cantina where literally anything could happen and you were always going to learn something strange and new in late night conversations while hunting war targets.

Now it seems just like pick up gaming in any one of a hundred identikit online gaming clans. Aside from the griefing and mocking suicides; look how much of a sociopath I am! theme it's portraying these days, it doesn't feel much like Star Wars or the culture anymore - something wonderful and profoundly scifi has disappeared beneath the weight of prudish conformism that insists we ape only the deeds of the paragons and never depart from the norm.

Quote
In many societies, being homosexual can get you excluded from society, placed under judicial punishment, or worse. This isn’t reality. This isn’t a call for gay rights. This isn’t a cry for help. It is however a petition for those who share this role-play community to be careful instead of casually throwing the phrase around. There are players, friends of yours even, who play lesbians in EVE – and who might be offended. Let’s all try to be more accepting of other’s choices in role-play.

And in eve right now playing the game in the "wrong way" will get you mocked, derided, demeaned, bullied, marginalised and ultimately purged from the body politic of social norms - it's not that the prevailing ideology particularly hates queers and lesbians and transgendered alternative gender roled diversity. It's that they hate people who will not laugh and point and jeer alongside them with the mockery.

It's okay to be a space lesbian as long as you also take the piss out of other space lesbians, then you are some kind of transgendered Uncle Tom who still "gets it". Question the mockery and suggest its a symptom of parochial ignorance? Oh boy, guess who gets to be the next hate figure in the cooking pot!
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Khloe on 12 Mar 2013, 09:29
It makes you wonder if the EVE RP Community has become something of a safe haven for gay/lesbian/transgender/alternative lifestyles/etc. because the rest of the game community is so hostile to them. The EVE RP community may be cliquish and mercurial, but at least they are considerably more tolerant of differences.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 12 Mar 2013, 09:34
It makes you wonder if the EVE RP Community has become something of a safe haven for gay/lesbian/transgender/alternative lifestyles/etc. because the rest of the game community is so hostile to them. The EVE RP community may be cliquish and mercurial, but at least they are considerably more tolerant of differences.

Almost certainly the case.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ciarente on 12 Mar 2013, 09:38
....stuff ...

Abso-fucking-lutely.  And it's not just in gamer culture anymore, either. Given how important the internet is these days to building social and cultural capital and engaging in political and community activism, the intimidation and harassment of women, queers, and others on the downside of privilege that has become commonplace online has real and significant consequences for individuals and societies.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 12 Mar 2013, 09:59
It makes you wonder if the EVE RP Community has become something of a safe haven for gay/lesbian/transgender/alternative lifestyles/etc. because the rest of the game community is so hostile to them. The EVE RP community may be cliquish and mercurial, but at least they are considerably more tolerant of differences.

Almost certainly the case.

If that's the case, then the argument up there crushes down already:

Quote from: Jade Constantine
95% of players are male.
50% of the avatars
Of those 47.5% of men playing female avatars most are hetro so find it easier to portray attraction to another female avatar.

Is not rocket science simply human nature and preference.

Outside the RP community people rarely portray any sexual relationships or such anyway. To the vast majority of players EVE online is, and has been for quite a long time, if not from start, simply an MMO about internet spaceships. It really doesn't matter that roughly one half of the men have female avatars and are hetero, as they, mostly, wouldn't think of RPing anyway.

What matters is the RP Community of EVE. Spacelesbian is a term that - apparently, if we follow the claims in this thread - originated in the 'more tolerant EVE RP community'. Also, the EVE RP community should not depict the same ratios in regard to sexuality as the non-RP playerbase of EVE: If it is the 'safe haven' for gay/lesbian/transgender/alternative lifestyles/etc., then one would expect an exceptionally high percentage of those in the rather small RP community of EVE.

Usually, if something "simple" is described as being "simply human nature and preferences" it's wrong, as human nature and preferences tend to be quite complex. The 'simple maths' up there don't hold up, really, given the prevalence of gay/lesbian/transgender/alternative lifestyles/etc. in the RP community. There must be something else to it.

If there has been a change in the EVE community that swings against 'gender play' and such, it must have happened inside the RP community, then, to explain the '(being called) space lesbian' phenomenon.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Saede Riordan on 12 Mar 2013, 10:04
Quote
I deeply regret the way eve has slipped to the mainstream here. It used to be a game where we had weirdos and bizarre people, our kinks and queers and alternative subcultures, gays, straights, cross dressers and virtual prostitutes rubbing soldiers with fanatics, politicians, anarchists, loyalists, soldiers, mercenaries and pirates and it felt, it genuinely felt like some outworld cantina where literally anything could happen and you were always going to learn something strange and new in late night conversations while hunting war targets.

All us weirdos are still around though, and we're still somewhat noisy in the community. I've definitely felt the environment you describe in the quote above being present, and I've only been playing since January of 08. If anything I feel like things have actually been improving a lot lately and the roleplay community has been growing pretty impressively.

I wouldn't be so quick to write us all off as having been subsumed into the mainstream. We all have our little pockets of the game, and in my case, I'm even pretty noisy on the forums with my opinions. EVE has always struck me as a very adult game played by and large by very mature people. While there might be trolls and assholes and idiots, overall the game community is rather friendly and understanding. I've never been harassed about my gender or sexuality, I've never really been harassed at all honestly. My community experience by and large has been almost entirely positive. Maybe I'm just being sheltered, and I'm not seeing the wider community, but overall what I've seen has looked pretty good to me.

The 'Space Lesbian' term is stupid, I think we can all agree its pretty dumb and its shitty to call people that. I don't think its a sign that the community is fundamentally broken, I think its a sign that we've acquired a few dumb memes. And Oh have we ever.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 12 Mar 2013, 10:51
It makes you wonder if the EVE RP Community has become something of a safe haven for gay/lesbian/transgender/alternative lifestyles/etc. because the rest of the game community is so hostile to them. The EVE RP community may be cliquish and mercurial, but at least they are considerably more tolerant of differences.

Almost certainly the case.

If that's the case, then the argument up there crushes down already:

Quote from: Jade Constantine
95% of players are male.
50% of the avatars
Of those 47.5% of men playing female avatars most are hetro so find it easier to portray attraction to another female avatar.

Is not rocket science simply human nature and preference.

Outside the RP community people rarely portray any sexual relationships or such anyway. To the vast majority of players EVE online is, and has been for quite a long time, if not from start, simply an MMO about internet spaceships. It really doesn't matter that roughly one half of the men have female avatars and are hetero, as they, mostly, wouldn't think of RPing anyway.

What matters is the RP Community of EVE. Spacelesbian is a term that - apparently, if we follow the claims in this thread - originated in the 'more tolerant EVE RP community'. Also, the EVE RP community should not depict the same ratios in regard to sexuality as the non-RP playerbase of EVE: If it is the 'safe haven' for gay/lesbian/transgender/alternative lifestyles/etc., then one would expect an exceptionally high percentage of those in the rather small RP community of EVE.

Usually, if something "simple" is described as being "simply human nature and preferences" it's wrong, as human nature and preferences tend to be quite complex. The 'simple maths' up there don't hold up, really, given the prevalence of gay/lesbian/transgender/alternative lifestyles/etc. in the RP community. There must be something else to it.

If there has been a change in the EVE community that swings against 'gender play' and such, it must have happened inside the RP community, then, to explain the '(being called) space lesbian' phenomenon.

I would argue that the RP community (uses) adopted the "space lesbian" term under cultural influence from anti roleplay / mainstream gamer culture elsewhere in the community. The prefix "space" before lesbians is too similar to the prefix "Internet" before spaceships to be entirely coincidental. The fact that the RP community has anyone RPing anything to do with sex and sex through the mirror of virtual gender confusion makes it a target for the mockery and derision of the gamer mainstream and reactionary homophobia.

But the fact that a subculture is under threat from a larger mainstream does not prevent it from being a safe(r) haven. I live in Brighton in the UK, its one of the most liberal, laid back and accommodating places in Europe for gay and alternative lifestyles but guess what? People still get queer-bashed by reactionary elements and away day thugs looking for a thrill in their banal conformity.

For me its pretty simple, space lesbian is a term like Internet spaceships that is designed to mock a particular play style or preference and ensure a single worldview attains dominance in the mmo ecosystem. Men shouldn't sex up men wearing female avatars just as people shouldn't get annoyed when they get screwed over Internet spaceships ... That's the commandments from Eve's neo Puritanicals.

 
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 12 Mar 2013, 10:54
Quote
I deeply regret the way eve has slipped to the mainstream here. It used to be a game where we had weirdos and bizarre people, our kinks and queers and alternative subcultures, gays, straights, cross dressers and virtual prostitutes rubbing soldiers with fanatics, politicians, anarchists, loyalists, soldiers, mercenaries and pirates and it felt, it genuinely felt like some outworld cantina where literally anything could happen and you were always going to learn something strange and new in late night conversations while hunting war targets.

All us weirdos are still around though, and we're still somewhat noisy in the community. I've definitely felt the environment you describe in the quote above being present, and I've only been playing since January of 08. If anything I feel like things have actually been improving a lot lately and the roleplay community has been growing pretty impressively.

I wouldn't be so quick to write us all off as having been subsumed into the mainstream. We all have our little pockets of the game, and in my case, I'm even pretty noisy on the forums with my opinions. EVE has always struck me as a very adult game played by and large by very mature people. While there might be trolls and assholes and idiots, overall the game community is rather friendly and understanding. I've never been harassed about my gender or sexuality, I've never really been harassed at all honestly. My community experience by and large has been almost entirely positive. Maybe I'm just being sheltered, and I'm not seeing the wider community, but overall what I've seen has looked pretty good to me.

The 'Space Lesbian' term is stupid, I think we can all agree its pretty dumb and its shitty to call people that. I don't think its a sign that the community is fundamentally broken, I think its a sign that we've acquired a few dumb memes. And Oh have we ever.






Fair enough, I hope you are right. If your experiences are as you say and such environments do still flourish I suspect I'll be back one day ;)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Saede Riordan on 12 Mar 2013, 11:17
Quote
I deeply regret the way eve has slipped to the mainstream here. It used to be a game where we had weirdos and bizarre people, our kinks and queers and alternative subcultures, gays, straights, cross dressers and virtual prostitutes rubbing soldiers with fanatics, politicians, anarchists, loyalists, soldiers, mercenaries and pirates and it felt, it genuinely felt like some outworld cantina where literally anything could happen and you were always going to learn something strange and new in late night conversations while hunting war targets.

All us weirdos are still around though, and we're still somewhat noisy in the community. I've definitely felt the environment you describe in the quote above being present, and I've only been playing since January of 08. If anything I feel like things have actually been improving a lot lately and the roleplay community has been growing pretty impressively.

I wouldn't be so quick to write us all off as having been subsumed into the mainstream. We all have our little pockets of the game, and in my case, I'm even pretty noisy on the forums with my opinions. EVE has always struck me as a very adult game played by and large by very mature people. While there might be trolls and assholes and idiots, overall the game community is rather friendly and understanding. I've never been harassed about my gender or sexuality, I've never really been harassed at all honestly. My community experience by and large has been almost entirely positive. Maybe I'm just being sheltered, and I'm not seeing the wider community, but overall what I've seen has looked pretty good to me.

The 'Space Lesbian' term is stupid, I think we can all agree its pretty dumb and its shitty to call people that. I don't think its a sign that the community is fundamentally broken, I think its a sign that we've acquired a few dumb memes. And Oh have we ever.






Fair enough, I hope you are right. If your experiences are as you say and such environments do still flourish I suspect I'll be back one day ;)

Like +1
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 12 Mar 2013, 15:37
Excellent posts by Jade. +10 likes.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: kalaratiri on 12 Mar 2013, 15:46
Thread seems to be slowing down a bit now, so I'd just like to post a big thank you to everyone on backstage for having this discussion in an adult and sensible way.

♥ you guys  :cube:
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 12 Mar 2013, 16:16
I would argue that the RP community (uses) adopted the "space lesbian" term under cultural influence from anti roleplay / mainstream gamer culture elsewhere in the community. The prefix "space" before lesbians is too similar to the prefix "Internet" before spaceships to be entirely coincidental. The fact that the RP community has anyone RPing anything to do with sex and sex through the mirror of virtual gender confusion makes it a target for the mockery and derision of the gamer mainstream and reactionary homophobia.

But the fact that a subculture is under threat from a larger mainstream does not prevent it from being a safe(r) haven. I live in Brighton in the UK, its one of the most liberal, laid back and accommodating places in Europe for gay and alternative lifestyles but guess what? People still get queer-bashed by reactionary elements and away day thugs looking for a thrill in their banal conformity.

For me its pretty simple, space lesbian is a term like Internet spaceships that is designed to mock a particular play style or preference and ensure a single worldview attains dominance in the mmo ecosystem. Men shouldn't sex up men wearing female avatars just as people shouldn't get annoyed when they get screwed over Internet spaceships ... That's the commandments from Eve's neo Puritanicals.

Still doesn't explain the prevalence for lesbian characters in a subculture filled with gay/lesbian/transgender/alternative lifestyles/etc.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Louella Dougans on 12 Mar 2013, 16:32
Still doesn't explain the prevalence for lesbian characters in a subculture filled with gay/lesbian/transgender/alternative lifestyles/etc.

it is the most obvious choice. Also fairly easy to understand, in comparison to all the other things. "Girl that likes girls" is a simpler concept than most of the other things.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 12 Mar 2013, 17:09
How is "girls that like girls" simpler than "boys that like boys" or "boys that like girls/girls that like boys"? <,<
I honestly don't see the cognitive barrier to access the latter two concepts.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Uraniae on 12 Mar 2013, 23:14
I think it might be "simpler" in that the RP community, despite being more tolerant than the wider EVE community, is probably still made up with a majority of heterosexual males.  To elaborate, one can be tolerant of other peoples' alternative lifestyles and nontraditional relationships or gender identities, while still maintaining personal preferences.  It's not so much any sort of cognitive barrier preventing understanding of the other situations as it is a "simpler" matter of preference and personal comfort.  Why roleplay attraction you don't have when you can roleplay attraction you do have/can more readily relate to?

I could probably play a convincing, engaging, and fun homosexual male character.  But I don't want to play that for various reasons. So why play that?

I'll also go out on a limb and say that it seems like modern western culture and media has really pushed lesbians much more than gays or transgender people.  So that cultural exposure might play a factor in making one situation "simpler" than another.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 12 Mar 2013, 23:31
That doesn't mean that the concept of "girl likes girl" is simpler/easier to understand though. It's rather getting us into quite complex societal processes that explain why it's simpler/easier to portray a lesbian.

Also, it wouldn't explain why those RPers that aren't heterosexual males aren't as noticeable as the lesbian characters or simply subsumed in that category. If we have a lot of those with alternate gender/sex lifestyles in the community, why then are apparently the lesbian characters the only ones present in the public eye?
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Uraniae on 13 Mar 2013, 01:05
More exposure to a concept tends to lead to more understanding of the concept, or at least some perceived understanding of it.  I'm not saying it's the answer to your question but it's possible it plays a part in the whole equation.

As for your most recent question I think that has to do with the tendency of people to remember bad examples more than they do good examples.  The "space lesbians" that aren't sticking out as the stereotypes and providing people reason to go "gosh that is pretty horrible/stupid" aren't the ones that get remembered as readily.  Think about other similar stereotypes in the community.  Sani Sabik characters that play like Twilight vampires.  Matari freedom fighters with a horrible "beaten, abused, raped as a slave" background.  The stand out bad examples just stick more often than the stand out good ones.

On top of that I suspect there is some self perpetuation with the whole "space lesbians" thing.  At some point being more common leads to the idea that it's more popular or acceptable or simply comes to mind quicker.  This makes even more, which reinforces the cycle.  Add to that the simple statistical factor that you'll have more exceptional or terrible examples of anything when you have more of that thing, and it just keeps building upon itself.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: lallara zhuul on 13 Mar 2013, 04:00
I think this is related to white privilege (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_privilege) in the sense that those that react to the term adversely have themselves experiences with their sexual preferences as something that has been judged by their real life culture or social group.

Therefore those that do not react to the term adversely (and use it) cannot really comprehend what the fuss is about.

In the end, all we can control is our own reaction to things which pretty much means that getting offended about something like this will change things as much as getting offended about anything else.

It does not really matter.

Therefore I applaud this kind of discourse on something that I perceive as a non-issue, perhaps I can understand what the fuss is about, perhaps not.

At least the try is out there.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ciarente on 13 Mar 2013, 04:38
I think this is related to white privilege (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_privilege) in the sense that those that react to the term adversely have themselves experiences with their sexual preferences as something that has been judged by their real life culture or social group.

Therefore those that do not react to the term adversely (and use it) cannot really comprehend what the fuss is about.

In the end, all we can control is our own reaction to things which pretty much means that getting offended about something like this will change things as much as getting offended about anything else.

It does not really matter.

Therefore I applaud this kind of discourse on something that I perceive as a non-issue, perhaps I can understand what the fuss is about, perhaps not.

At least the try is out there.

The thing is, as a recipient of the benefits of white and cisgender privilege, when someone points out that a term or phrase is offensive to them, I stop using it.  I might not 'comprehend what all the fuss is about' beforehand, but being informed that it's offensive is enough for me.  It does puzzle me when people (and this is more in reference to the sort of culture Jade raised rather than in reference to this thread) refuse to acknowledge that their language is offensive, demeaning and exclusionary, and insist on continuing to use it.

We don't only control our own reaction to things: we also control our own speech and behavior. 

'Getting offended' may not change anything: but informing others that we have been offended is a different matter. It puts out in the open the offensive nature of some language choices, which the possessors of privilege might not have considered.

Of course, that's no guarantee they'll stop using them: but it certainly removes any excuse of ignorance, and makes perfectly clear the attitudes of those who continue to choose to use terms they now know are offensive, hurtful, and exclusionary.



Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 13 Mar 2013, 04:41
The thing is, as a recipient of the benefits of white and cisgender privilege, when someone points out that a term or phrase is offensive to them, I stop using it.  I might not 'comprehend what all the fuss is about' beforehand, but being informed that it's offensive is enough for me.  It does puzzle me when people (and this is more in reference to the sort of culture Jade raised rather than in reference to this thread) refuse to acknowledge that their language is offensive, demeaning and exclusionary, and insist on continuing to use it.

We don't only control our own reaction to things: we also control our own speech and behavior. 

'Getting offended' may not change anything: but informing others that we have been offended is a different matter. It puts out in the open the offensive nature of some language choices, which the possessors of privilege might not have considered.

Of course, that's no guarantee they'll stop using them: but it certainly removes any excuse of ignorance, and makes perfectly clear the attitudes of those who continue to choose to use terms they now know are offensive, hurtful, and exclusionary.

This. +1

That is the very reason I started this thread.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aelisha Montenagre on 13 Mar 2013, 05:50
To be honest, the above seems to be the most mature policy.  One a one to one basis, should the term offend, stop using it.

Personally I generally find describing someone by their gender, as an external evaluation of that person to be one step away from judging them on their sexual technique (and every bit as relevant IE. NOT) as an identifying feature.  Suffice to say; not my place and well outside any right to free speech I care to claim.  If the person in question describes themselves as 'classification of sexual or gender preference' then that's their call. 

For example: Ael: "Oh yes, I know Oniseki in passing.  Member of I-RED, seems to be some form of aide or close colleague of JFR."

NOT

Ael: "Oniseki... Oniseki...  The lesbian who works with JFR?"

Take away the concept of positive or negative value statements as inferred by an observer for a second - not only is the second just rude, but it also tells the person asking if I know Oniseki, potentially to find out more about her, NOTHING that could be pertinent to any conversation other than 'do I have a shot' (a distasteful and assumptive line of inquiry I'd love to shoot down IC or OOC for most any application thereof). 

I could have just said 'what Ciarente and Oniseki have said' but I thought I'd put my own spin on things to give a personal context. 

Mithra, however, is really responsible for me posting here.  'Why lesbians?'  This has really stuck in my mind like a barb, as my two fleshed out chars are assumed (very private romantic lives) hetero-normative, with little desire or reason to discuss their sexual preferences or those of anyone else.  Is it intrinsically 'easier' for a predominantly male population?  Does it say anything (progressive, good, bad?) about that population?  As a male player of implied straight (but unproven due to 'no ERP ty' on my part) but female characters, does that say anything about me? 

That is the real allure of this thread imo - as I'd trust most of us a progressive and decent enough to believe that sexuality descriptors, even in jest, means nothing beyond personal taste in a private matter.  Offence taken, should be offence taken under advisement - I should know, I like to sling the odd barb on OOC ts with the TS-F guys, well aware that if it offends (and it has) I should recant and resolve to avoid such.  It isn't in the first offence we become bigots, but in the second; and we should learn to not compromise, but accept that in private matters, feelings run strong for those who feel they are victims.  As no one should be a victim in life, let alone a game, I believe that tolerance is best expressed by the testing of boundaries (usually accidentally) and the acceptance of self-moderation in the face of negative reactions.  Through this, both the offended party and the offensive party learn how they see the same term differently and how victimisation through presupposition of prejudice or by continuation of an aggravating behaviour until it becomes prejudice is unacceptable. 

Stop making me want to write long posts. 
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 13 Mar 2013, 07:21
As no one should be a victim in life, let alone a game, I believe that tolerance is best expressed by the testing of boundaries (usually accidentally) and the acceptance of self-moderation in the face of negative reactions.  Through this, both the offended party and the offensive party learn how they see the same term differently and how victimisation through presupposition of prejudice or by continuation of an aggravating behaviour until it becomes prejudice is unacceptable.

I think that is really nicely put. +1


Stop making me want to write long posts.

As far as I'm responsible, I'll try to oblige. I can't promise anything, though. ;)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Vincent Pryce on 13 Mar 2013, 10:27
Because Stephen Fry says it so much better than I can.

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LHDxqigCco4/TpeLXt1w0GI/AAAAAAAADf8/4_aWa4D_QEE/s1600/fry.jpg)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ciarente on 13 Mar 2013, 10:31
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will always hurt me.”


― Stephen Fry, Moab Is My Washpot
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Vincent Pryce on 13 Mar 2013, 10:44
Old git needs to make up his mind.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jekaterine on 14 Mar 2013, 11:29
[mod]Thread cleaned.The topic is in the OP. It is not about who should HTFU and under what circumstances, who has been victimized and discriminated against outside of this particular thread question. Nor freedom of speech and it's application.Such things are to be discussed in their own threads in the appropriate forum. Feel free to start them off.[/mod]
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Creep on 18 Apr 2013, 23:23
Pardon moi for Necroing this thread but it's rather good (I agree with mostly everything in it) and this is the first time I've been able to say this:

So many Gay/Lesbian Characters are sexually violent.

I don't mean they're rapin' errybody; I mean that while a huge chunk of Capsuleers are rampaging psychopaths, it's the LGBQ (haven't met any T) characters whose violence and sadism leaks into their sex lives. And I'm not even talking about a bit of BDSM.

All the heterosexual ERP or relationships I've ever seen tends to be fairly vanilla, if somewhat enhanced with FutureToys™ or GallenteKink. Straight characters seem to have fairly non-sadistic relationships. Tenderness, communication, egalitarian dynamic, with a little bit of contrived melodrama because this is RP, after all.
 
Lesbian characters? Suddenly they're signing up with the Blood Raiders because Lesbians have Blood Orgies (no seriously, there's a bunch of these running around). Or they're a Gurista/Angel/Slaver seducing a manacled captive they've just dragged out of her pod. Or they're making creepy threats regarding genital mutilation towards male characters, like an over-the-top caricature of the "Man-eating Lesbian FemiNazi" stereotype.
And there's almost always some creepy power imbalance going on: the Dominant partner is presented in the manner that the guy in 50 Shades of Gray was (slaver/slave, TrueCitizen/TrueSlave, StalkerIntelligence Officer/StalkedCriminal/Terrorist etc). That element of a controlling relationship seems almost ubiquitous.

Now, I don't tend to frequent the RP channels that most people here do, and I've never interacted with someone Seriously Role Playing a gay pilot (beyond one manga-inspired prettyboy cardboard cutout), but the lolRPlite types I DO meet tend to be divided into two sections: Highsec and Lowsec/Null. Yes, really.

I hang out primarily with lowsec pirates, and mother of god I have never seen so many links to gay porn, ascii art of dicks, or read more homoerotic conversations than I have in channels filled with straight male lowsexers. And I've been known to surf Grindr. The term sausagefest no longer applies—it's a WienerCarnival.
But among the lowsec pirates, the lolgayRP is pretty harmless — it tends to be bandied about mostly amongst corpmates and friendlies, with lots of lolPolyamory. This (though my experience is somewhat limited) tends to be true among the Nullsec pvpers as well. It's actually a decent environment for me to be in because I can flirt with them in-character(or out) and they don't even blink.

But go to Hisec, and it gets creepy. The Wardecker/Merc types love to present themselves as rape-happy gay men. Now, this is blatant trolling, but just as the lowsec pirates are consistent with their RPlite, the hisec guys keep it going 23/7 as well. And, granted, I do find their irreverent antics funny, but in the back of my mind it's creepy as shit because they're not just men raping everyone(which is terrible as well): it's implied that they just rape men, and this characterization of gay men comes too easily to them.


Er. That got kind of ranty at the end. But the point stands: We are not sadistic, abusive lovers.
Homsexing does not generally involve intimidation and subjugation.
We are people who happen (privately, for the most part) to enjoy rubbing our genitalia against similarly shaped genitalia.
For the most part, our relationships are healthy.

If there's legit way for an RPer to be "doingitrong", RPing a creepy, violent, same-sex relationship is probably it.

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 18 Apr 2013, 23:42
<snip>

I play a woman married to a woman. I live exclusively in highsec, and have for the better part of a year now. She's married. She wants children. She likes long walks on the beach and snuggling in front of the fireplace. She does not abuse or rape everything with tits. She doesn't even come close to domestic violence. The worst she's ever done is slap her wife on the butt in bed.

I think maybe you're just not noticing the normal couples among the wild ones, but believe me... we're out there.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Samira Kernher on 18 Apr 2013, 23:56
All the heterosexual ERP or relationships I've ever seen tends to be fairly vanilla, if somewhat enhanced with FutureToys™ or GallenteKink. Straight characters seem to have fairly non-sadistic relationships. Tenderness, communication, egalitarian dynamic, with a little bit of contrived melodrama because this is RP, after all.

Speaking as someone who in other RP universes have freqeuntly played aggressive and outright violent heterosexual relationships, I'll say you're just not looking hard enough. :P I'm sure some exist in EVE, too.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 19 Apr 2013, 00:44
But that also begs the question, why did your character have to be homosexual?
One question to be asked is "How does being a lesbian (or any sexual preference for that matter) add to the character?"

Being a lesbian is not like being a good aligned drow. It doesn't need special justification.

No one asks people who play straight characters to explain what being straight adds to the character. No one says that playing a man 'begs the question' of why their character had to be a man. There is no special term for 'Space Whiteys.'

Why are some characters lesbian? Because they are. That's all the rationale needed.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Creep on 19 Apr 2013, 07:57
<snip>

I play a woman married to a woman. I live exclusively in highsec, and have for the better part of a year now. She's married. She wants children. She likes long walks on the beach and snuggling in front of the fireplace. She does not abuse or rape everything with tits. She doesn't even come close to domestic violence. The worst she's ever done is slap her wife on the butt in bed.

I think maybe you're just not noticing the normal couples among the wild ones, but believe me... we're out there.
What I got from the rest of this thread is that you portray a very realistic character with a realistic relationship, so I've no doubt of this.

I was adding commentary to the "SpaceLesbian" concept.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lyn Farel on 19 Apr 2013, 08:04
But that also begs the question, why did your character have to be homosexual?
One question to be asked is "How does being a lesbian (or any sexual preference for that matter) add to the character?"

Being a lesbian is not like being a good aligned drow. It doesn't need special justification.

No one asks people who play straight characters to explain what being straight adds to the character. No one says that playing a man 'begs the question' of why their character had to be a man. There is no special term for 'Space Whiteys.'

Why are some characters lesbian? Because they are. That's all the rationale needed.

Taken like that, that's actually a good point.

I think though Myyona quote "Why spacelesbian" might also be taken differently since the answer for a lot of people is obviously "nerdgasm". For us, it can be various other things, from "nothing in particular" (which is perfectly fine), to "might be interesting exploring in the caldari environnement" and the likes.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Shintoko Akahoshi on 19 Apr 2013, 08:59
There is no special term for 'Space Whiteys.'

Oh, but there should be!
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Logan Fyreite on 19 Apr 2013, 10:09
I hate to derail the thread with a little levity...

But I have to.
The worst she's ever done is slap her wife on the butt in bed.
Mhmmmm....

/me gets popcorn

Go on?

end joke

So on a more serious note, sexual preference adds to a character by providing another facet to the character's being. It's like defining what tropes your character is. Helps to better explain the character and their motivations for you, the "author." For me at least.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: kalaratiri on 20 Apr 2013, 05:42
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKZlIvMuLQ4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

"Being gay isn't about sex, it's about being in love"

Maybe not completly relevant to spaceship games, but certainly worth considering on a character level.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aria Jenneth on 20 Apr 2013, 09:54
"Space Lesbians" as a category are in bad odor for two reasons.

1) Stereotypically, the characters are both played by heterosexual men who are getting their jollies in ERP imagining two girls getting it on. The reason there's an issue here is that it moves the activity deep into the domain of "unambiguous pornography playing to male fantasies," with a perception that any relationship-based roleplay is ultimately an excuse, the outcome (abundant lesbian intercourse) a foregone conclusion.

2) The phenomenon's common enough that there's a difficult-to-escape suspicion that #1 is usually the case.

The result is that any lesbian couple in Eve is likely to encounter a certain amount of disdain, regardless of whether #1 is true or not.

Folks, I'm not going to say that anybody is "doing it wrong." I've done ERP, I liked it at the time, but I will freely admit that the tendency of my gender (male) to have a "thing" for lesbians bothers me a bit. The psychology's not difficult to track: "What's better than one naked girl? TWO! ... Or maybe, THREE!" (queue the "Major Kusanagi on vacation" scene from the original "Ghost In The Shell" manga).

The scene doesn't occur for the benefit of the characters involved, but for detached, invisible male observers. It's objectifying as hell.

If those of you who are engaged in roleplay that either tracks or superficially resembles this pattern can extract what the Supreme Court would call "artistic merit" (congratulations! Your RP is now protected speech) (the bar's really not high), more power to you.

If not, it's none of my business unless you ask me to discuss it.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 20 Apr 2013, 11:05
If those of you who are engaged in roleplay that either tracks or superficially resembles this pattern

What exactly is the 'pattern'? Lesbian ERP? Enjoying Lesbian ERP?
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aria Jenneth on 20 Apr 2013, 13:42
If those of you who are engaged in roleplay that either tracks or superficially resembles this pattern

What exactly is the 'pattern'? Lesbian ERP? Enjoying Lesbian ERP?

Hm. Well, that's part of the problem, really: from an outside perspective, it doesn't even matter whether there is any ERP going on at all.

Guys sometimes (I'd even say "often") play girls so as to engage in lesbian ERP. It Is Known.

It doesn't matter whether it's true in a specific case. Outsiders to the relationship can only assume what is going on and why, and will make those assumptions, fairly or not. A guy playing a woman who is engaged in a same-sex romantic relationship will be presumed to be doing it for this reason.

That's where a lot of the criticism comes from.

If it's worth it to you, for whatever reason (great RP, great ... um, other stuff, whatever reason), great. But you should be aware that some of the heat you may be taking has nothing to do with the portrayed relationship and everything to do with the underlying, OOC reasons for its existence. Rightly or wrongly, there is a critique of this pattern from a feminist perspective that has nothing whatsoever to do with criticizing actual lesbians.

Unless my opinion is asked, I don't consider this stuff any of my business. Others, however, may have reasons for taking offense (or at least rolling their eyes) that have nothing to do with homophobia and a lot more to do with objecting to what they consider a tawdry, voyeuristic exercise in male wish fulfillment.

I share some of that concern even if I don't normally have anything to say about it. However, I don't consider it fair to judge RP relationships I know little about. There's a lot to be learned, perhaps, in an earnest effort to simulate a romantic involvement between women.

That's me, but it's not everyone. Same-sex female IC relationships come at the cost of being assumed to be a couple of guys getting their jollies, and little if anything more.

Unfair, perhaps. Inevitable, yes. And while pornography in general is widely accepted and enjoyed, it is not unproblematic, not least when it comes to informing male attitudes about women and female attitudes about themselves.

In fairness, neither is portrayal of women in advertising, movies, television, video games, society at large (pink is STILL for girls), and on and on and on.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 20 Apr 2013, 14:05
Oh, I think I see what you're saying now. It's still hogwash.

People will assume XYZ, so thus you are guilty of XYZ and it's okay for them to be offended and insult your RP.

You say that it's inevitable that people will assume we're objectifying women, and you also suggest that this is somehow okay to be offended based on those assumptions? If anybody assumes this is what it's about, that my role-play is simply to objectify women sexually, then their own offense is their own fault. Not mine. Not my RP partner's. Theirs. When someone assumes without knowing the facts, that's what they get. Self made offense.

I am not going to apologize for my roleplay because someone has a kneejerk reaction to men doing something they think should only be done by women.

For the record... those assumptions are a perfect example of something called sexism. Amazing how that works huh?

EDIT:

I will note that you're simply saying this is why people are throwing heat at us. That's not an excuse. It may explain it, but it doesn't excuse it.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aria Jenneth on 20 Apr 2013, 14:49
Oh, I think I see what you're saying now. It's still hogwash.

People will assume XYZ, so thus you are guilty of XYZ and it's okay for them to be offended and insult your RP.

No. Assume that actions A, B, and C show a close correlation with underlying factors X, Y, and Z. Thus, if you do ABC, people will assume XYZ.

The assumption will be accurate in a great many cases, inaccurate in some. Ironically, there are places where our criminal justice system works on similar principles as a means of achieving what we optimistically term "justice." If you want to hear some horror stories, ask me for concrete examples.

Quote
You say that it's inevitable that people will assume we're objectifying women, and you also suggest that this is somehow okay to be offended based on those assumptions? If anybody assumes this is what it's about, that my role-play is simply to objectify women sexually, then their own offense is their own fault. Not mine. Not my RP partner's. Theirs. When someone assumes without knowing the facts, that's what they get. Self made offense.

If that's how you prefer to look at it-- judging those who judge-- fair enough. But you should be aware that their assumptions are not based on nothing, and their objection to what they believe they see is likewise not based on air.

Quote
I am not going to apologize for my roleplay because someone has a kneejerk reaction to men doing something they think should only be done by women.

Do you understand what the position of the player is in a scene of this type-- both puppet-master and voyeur? Do you understand why anybody would find that situation troubling?

Quote
For the record... those assumptions are a perfect example of something called sexism. Amazing how that works huh?

You mean, assuming that heterosexual guys are engaged in ERP for reasons more libidinous than sociological?

Yeah, there was a time when I used to think that statues and paintings of nudes were "celebrations of the human form." Turns out, those "celebrations" are typically occasioned by the libidinous feelings they inspire.

Katrina, with respect, you're throwing out the word "sexism" a little easily, and, also with respect, you're applying it in a similar manner to the way white people sometimes accuse black people of racism. This isn't to say that feminists can't be sexist or that darker skinned people can't be racist; obviously, both are possible. But you're wielding a cleaver; a scalpel is called for if you want to actually grok this stuff rather than just defending yourself.

I try to avoid using emotionally or politically charged labels where I can, partly because I have such a dark view of humanity in general and partly because the apparent evils they apply to are so damned easy to find. "Sexism" is pervasive, and damned near impossible to escape, not least because there are obvious differences between the sexes and yet the "differences" are so caught up in cultural programming that it is nigh-impossible for a lay observer such as myself to say where society ends and biology begins. It seems to be just as impossible for the experts, but they may have better information.

"Racism," too, is pervasive, though even the concept of "race" appears to be almost entirely cultural, so we might actually get out of those woods someday. (Hey, I can be an optimist.)

What I would argue here is that (1) a pattern of behavior exists; (2) its implications are troubling to many, and not for no reason; (3) behaviors appearing to follow this pattern will therefore be seen by many as troubling.

People react to being troubled differently. Some do it by being jerks-- and often think they're justified in doing so.

People will find justification for acting badly in a whole lot of places. Actually, the people I (irony of ironies) am quickest to judge are often those quickest to judge. Probably that's why I do the kind of work I do.

If you're content to condemn those who condemn you, fine, have fun, but expect little sympathy from me as you become one of a pair of poles. I'm much more interested in learning why things work as they do than in trying to say how they should.

Feel justified, or don't. I don't particularly care who's "right"; I'm just interested in why people function as they do.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aria Jenneth on 20 Apr 2013, 15:11
Hm. Thinking about it a little more, I don't think most people who roll their eyes at "space lesbians" are doing so because they looked at the whole phenomenon through the "feminist lens" of literary criticism (that's what the above is mostly about-- reading underlying, often unintended messages found in a text). What I stated above is more of a scholarly critique. It's what you'd be getting if you ran it in front of a bunch of liberal arts professors (or former students with a good memory). Most people don't even notice stuff like that, even if they're absorbing the messages sent.

Probably, it's more like this:

1. Men in New Eden are real men, and so (often) are the women.

2. Guys playing women in lesbian relationships are usually doing so for the ERP.

3. People tend to roll their eyes at ERP in general. I'd have to think a bit further about exactly why; I don't think the answer's simple (though I'm sure somebody could cough up a few pithy lines that would get at least part of it).

4. Lesbian relationships are usually ERP + there are lots of lesbian relationships = conclusion that there's a lot of ERP going on and that the lesbian relationships are a product of that.

5. People tend to roll their eyes at "space lesbians" in particular as the most obvious ERP-ers.

There. That makes more basic sense.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aria Jenneth on 20 Apr 2013, 16:09
EDIT:

I will note that you're simply saying this is why people are throwing heat at us. That's not an excuse. It may explain it, but it doesn't excuse it.

Correct. My observations, as with Aria's (and I often end up slipping into Aria's voice on this forum), are usually just that. If I have opinions of my own, they're often vague normative impressions rather than specific prescriptions-- or judgments.

I know better than to think "truth" is on my side, but I believe in trying to explain each perspective to the other. It gets me in no end of arguments.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 20 Apr 2013, 19:15
It's not sexist to suggest that when two men create female characters and have those female character engage in graphic sex, they may be doing so because the idea of two women having sex gets them off. Nor is it sexist to point out a larger cultural trend in which men treat sexual activities between women as existing primarily for their pleasure and enjoyment.

That said, I have no idea if whatever 'heat' Kat has gotten is based on criticism of a sexist cultural dynamic someone believes is playing itself out in Kat's RP.

It just as well might be that they see eRP as inherently stupid. Or acting out a romantic relationship through RP as unhealthy. Or that there are too many lesbian in EVE so all of them are cliche. Or just regular homophobia in that both players might be men or that lesbian characters are just not as good as straight female characters.

Maybe they just don't like Kat, either the character or the player behind her, and 'space lesbians' is low hanging fruit.

We can talk about lesbian characters in general and the issues surrounding them, but delving into why people have expressed disapproval for a specific relationship or character is futile unless the people who have expressed that disapproval share their thoughts.

"Being gay isn't about sex, it's about being in love"
I've known lesbians who can have emotional intimacy and even romantic feelings toward men but don't because cock does nothing for them.

Sexual desire is a big part of sexual orientation.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 20 Apr 2013, 19:46
Maybe I should stop posting.
I'm going to stop posting.

This topic has begun to offend me more than any interaction the topic is actually about.

I've typed, edited, deleted, and retyped this post at least five times now, entire paragraphs worth. I'm just going to leave it like this.

On that note, I'm going to step back and politely say good luck to the participants in this thread.

I'm out.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 20 Apr 2013, 20:17
I'd like to apologize if my posts have contributed to your frustration.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ava Starfire on 22 Apr 2013, 20:09
Someone is different from me!

Oh no! We must point it out and ask why!

A lot of people are different from me! They must have problems!!

Seriously. Whoever thinks that what people choose to do in their free time, with people who consent to do it with them, is in any way, shape, or form any of their goddamn business, really should probably be doing something besides playing a game full of people who will all be doing whatever they want to do in their free time.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Creep on 22 Apr 2013, 21:36
Someone is different from me!

Oh no! We must point it out and ask why!

A lot of people are different from me! They must have problems!!

Seriously. Whoever thinks that what people choose to do in their free time, with people who consent to do it with them, is in any way, shape, or form any of their goddamn business, really should probably be doing something besides playing a game full of people who will all be doing whatever they want to do in their free time.
I find a perverse humor in this: In RL, Real Lesbians are discriminated against. In RP, Fake Lesbians are discriminated against.

And then I remember that it's true for Queer/Bi people as well and I get all angry and shit...
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aria Jenneth on 22 Apr 2013, 21:52
Someone is different from me!

Oh no! We must point it out and ask why!

A lot of people are different from me! They must have problems!!

Seriously. Whoever thinks that what people choose to do in their free time, with people who consent to do it with them, is in any way, shape, or form any of their goddamn business, really should probably be doing something besides playing a game full of people who will all be doing whatever they want to do in their free time.
I find a perverse humor in this: In RL, Real Lesbians are discriminated against. In RP, Fake Lesbians are discriminated against.

And then I remember that it's true for Queer/Bi people as well and I get all angry and shit...

... I ... can't ... actually tell whether I'm included in these critiques or not, so I'll leave it be.

Creep: do fake gay people suffer discrimination in RP? I had the impression Andreus Ixiris, to bring up one name, was rather admired for choosing to play an openly gay character in an environment as OOC homophobic (genuinely or pseudo, if there's even a meaningful difference) as Eve. Was that just my own reaction? I know they suffer some in-character discrimination, but that I'm inclined to defend as mandated in places by the "role" in roleplay.

The Amarr are not exactly open-minded, as an empire. Neither are the Caldari.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Creep on 23 Apr 2013, 00:10
Wait. Andreus' player isn't actually Gay?
 :eek:
SO glad I've limited my tipsy flirting to the people I don't know in low...

Also, I'm not sure if you're just doing some light trolling or not, but we are posting in a thread Titled after the pejorative term for Fake Lesbians in RP. People are always judged for playing a gender they're not in RL, for playing a sexual orientation they're not in RL, and for doing both it's worse.
Even I, being both queer IRL and IRP, get shit from people (mostly the "lol no such thing make a choice faggot can't have it both ways", which by now is just sneerworthy) in-game.

Rather than people screaming at you for being a godless sodomite or for 'making life choices' that they disagree with, RPers tend to treat lgbtq characters with a certain condescending "I think you're immature for playing your character like that. Why can't you play a Normal person like the rest of the adults?" attitude.
They assume that people aren't actually LGBTQ, and are just doing it for the ERP/attention/edginess/futuristic-Captain-Jack-Harkness characterization.

The actual OOC homophobia doesn't bother me so much because the harder you hit on them, the funnier they get. (And then you blow them up.) Unlike with Roleplayers (with whom I am trying to have at least a semi-meaningful interaction), I don't give a fuck about talking with real homophobes. If they scream at me for being a cocksucking faggot, I just shrug and continue camping them into station or whatever. With RPers, it rankles, because you'll be having a conversation about ~stuff~ and in the back of your mind you know they're treating your character with far less respect than s/he probably deserves.

...Actually, a lot of RPers do similar things with Goons, TESTies, and low/null pvpers who try to get into Role Play. It's a very similar "you're not a genuine character, you're someone's flight of fancy. Just a vessel for momentary entertainment. Kindly leave so that the REAL RPers can do their thing", whether the issue is LGBTQ or coming from Something Awful/Reddit/Amamake.


I've absolutely no idea if this is a critique of your earlier posts because reading through them, I've no idea why you and Katrina are disagreeing.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Norrin Ellis on 23 Apr 2013, 00:42
I honestly don't see the problem here.

People not taking your lesbian character seriously or treating you how you expect to be treated?  Ignore those folks and play with people who do.

Think lesbian characters are hackneyed ERP fantasies?  Ignore them and play with others who suit your tastes.

Life is a lot less stressful, IC and OOC, when you stop worrying about the respect of people whose views you really don't give any fucks about in the first place.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 23 Apr 2013, 03:35
Hm. Thinking about it a little more, I don't think most people who roll their eyes at "space lesbians" are doing so because they looked at the whole phenomenon through the "feminist lens" of literary criticism (that's what the above is mostly about-- reading underlying, often unintended messages found in a text). What I stated above is more of a scholarly critique. It's what you'd be getting if you ran it in front of a bunch of liberal arts professors (or former students with a good memory). Most people don't even notice stuff like that, even if they're absorbing the messages sent.

Probably, it's more like this:

1. Men in New Eden are real men, and so (often) are the women.

2. Guys playing women in lesbian relationships are usually doing so for the ERP.

3. People tend to roll their eyes at ERP in general. I'd have to think a bit further about exactly why; I don't think the answer's simple (though I'm sure somebody could cough up a few pithy lines that would get at least part of it).

4. Lesbian relationships are usually ERP + there are lots of lesbian relationships = conclusion that there's a lot of ERP going on and that the lesbian relationships are a product of that.

5. People tend to roll their eyes at "space lesbians" in particular as the most obvious ERP-ers.

There. That makes more basic sense.











Now I'm confused, where that leave me as a (straightish) guy playing a female posthuman anarchist in an erotic politico/sexual relationship with a hetro woman playing a (straightish-but gender corruptable) female blood cult space dominatrix?

 
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aelisha Montenagre on 23 Apr 2013, 04:37
How ever you feel about it, Jade, is how it is.

Any opinion counter to your idea of well being - well meaning in it's ignorance or disgusting in it's prejudice, is an attempt to subvert YOUR ideal of YOUR well being. 

Norrin was onto something with his statements above, in the IC domain.  In the OOC domain, your mind is the only freedom you can never be divested of by circumstance or design.  Use it as the starting point to ensure the rest of your freedoms are well defended.  This may require stepping on someone else's 'dearly held values', but if their values encroach into telling you how you can feel or think, and how two or more individuals who have parity in those elements of their private life may privately act upon them, their values weren't worth tolerating anyway. 

Liberate the mind, tolerate others and be conservative in how you act against other's freedoms.  It could almost be called the Grand Unified Theory of Being a Decent Person, in that it consolidated the good points of the sociopolitical spectrum from left to right, and is as unattainable as the Grand Unified Theory from which it was butchered ;). 
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 23 Apr 2013, 04:58
How ever you feel about it, Jade, is how it is.

Any opinion counter to your idea of well being - well meaning in it's ignorance or disgusting in it's prejudice, is an attempt to subvert YOUR ideal of YOUR well being. 

Norrin was onto something with his statements above, in the IC domain.  In the OOC domain, your mind is the only freedom you can never be divested of by circumstance or design.  Use it as the starting point to ensure the rest of your freedoms are well defended.  This may require stepping on someone else's 'dearly held values', but if their values encroach into telling you how you can feel or think, and how two or more individuals who have parity in those elements of their private life may privately act upon them, their values weren't worth tolerating anyway. 

Liberate the mind, tolerate others and be conservative in how you act against other's freedoms.  It could almost be called the Grand Unified Theory of Being a Decent Person, in that it consolidated the good points of the sociopolitical spectrum from left to right, and is as unattainable as the Grand Unified Theory from which it was butchered ;).

You are such a lovely free-spirited radical I want to hug you!
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aelisha Montenagre on 23 Apr 2013, 05:22
Heh, in truth I am a somewhat conservative engineer, but I draw the line at telling people what to think. 

How to think?  Sure, within reason.  Methodology, application and so on affect all walks of life from professional to the most deeply personal, and tbh it'd be a sad world if we had to come up with our own schema for how we form what we think. 
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Silas Vitalia on 23 Apr 2013, 10:14
We're all guilty of playing into standardized role tropes in our RP.

I'm an evil slaver! or I'm a Freedom Fighter! Or I'm a space tart, who wants to make out!?

It's up to us to try and break out of those molds a little bit. Or not, and receive the full range of eye-rolling from peers when we don't.

Katrina has put enough effort and characterization into her relationship that I daresay she's never been lumped into the standard 'space lesbian' eye rolling trope.

People who spend months and years working and fleshing out these relationships and motivations have nothing to worry about on these topics.

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Silas Vitalia on 23 Apr 2013, 10:17
That being said people who don't spend that time and effort to develop themselves and appear out of thin air to wave their desires for space lesbian sexychats in everyone's face uninvited will be met with ridicule ammunition on full broadside from me. 
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Shintoko Akahoshi on 23 Apr 2013, 11:18
We're all guilty of playing into standardized role tropes in our RP.

I'm an evil slaver! or I'm a Freedom Fighter! Or I'm a space tart, who wants to make out!?

It's up to us to try and break out of those molds a little bit. Or not, and receive the full range of eye-rolling from peers when we don't.

Katrina has put enough effort and characterization into her relationship that I daresay she's never been lumped into the standard 'space lesbian' eye rolling trope.

People who spend months and years working and fleshing out these relationships and motivations have nothing to worry about on these topics.

I've tried to stay out of this... discussion? Whatever it is. This is what it comes down to for me, though. I've always said that well thought out and entertaining RP covers a plethora of sins*, and that certainly applies here. "Space Lesbians" are certainly a standardized trope in Eve, one which has basically nothing in common with people RPing actual relationships. The implications should be pretty obvious.

*The word "sins" should be in no way construed to be seen as a view on my part that homosexual relationships are in any way sinful, yadda yadda, etc, God save the queen.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Silas Vitalia on 23 Apr 2013, 11:44
Right.

My point being developed characters with interesting personalities will trump any tropes. 

With Katrina specifically I've always seen her as a person first, with amorous relationships being a part of the character, not the relationships being the focal point of the character.   Space pilot that does many things, one of those things happens to be a relationship with another female.  Not LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LETS GET SEXY and nothing else going on.

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Synthia on 23 Apr 2013, 12:27
For most characters that happen to be lesbian, I have to have it pointed out for me to be aware of the fact.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aria Jenneth on 23 Apr 2013, 13:42
Wait. Andreus' player isn't actually Gay?

You know, I have no idea? If I ever did know, I've long forgotten.

Quote
Also, I'm not sure if you're just doing some light trolling or not, but we are posting in a thread Titled after the pejorative term for Fake Lesbians in RP. People are always judged for playing a gender they're not in RL, for playing a sexual orientation they're not in RL, and for doing both it's worse.

Not trolling. My sense of the issue is/was that "space lesbian" as a category was its own particular thing to a high degree for reasons discussed above. I play a female character in spite of the mild grief I occasionally get for doing so, and it hadn't really occurred to me that sexual orientation could be used to produce a sort of double gender-bend-- or, if it did, that that would be a cause for the bestowing of additional grief.

Interesting. I'm not sure it's that simple, but it could certainly be an ingredient. I'd need to think it over.

Do you think a woman playing a gay male would come in for the same kind of criticism? I'm not sure she would.

Quote
... RPers tend to treat lgbtq characters with a certain condescending "I think you're immature for playing your character like that. Why can't you play a Normal person like the rest of the adults?" attitude.
They assume that people aren't actually LGBTQ, and are just doing it for the ERP/attention/edginess/futuristic-Captain-Jack-Harkness characterization.

Just so.

Quote
The actual OOC homophobia doesn't bother me so much because the harder you hit on them, the funnier they get. (And then you blow them up.) Unlike with Roleplayers (with whom I am trying to have at least a semi-meaningful interaction), I don't give a fuck about talking with real homophobes. If they scream at me for being a cocksucking faggot, I just shrug and continue camping them into station or whatever. With RPers, it rankles, because you'll be having a conversation about ~stuff~ and in the back of your mind you know they're treating your character with far less respect than s/he probably deserves.

And also are making rotten assumptions. Yes, I can see how that would get on one's nerves.

Quote
...Actually, a lot of RPers do similar things with Goons, TESTies, and low/null pvpers who try to get into Role Play. It's a very similar "you're not a genuine character, you're someone's flight of fancy. Just a vessel for momentary entertainment. Kindly leave so that the REAL RPers can do their thing", whether the issue is LGBTQ or coming from Something Awful/Reddit/Amamake.

Yes, yes they do. I'm ambivalent about that, as well: the Goons, in particular, have historically made it a kind of policy to hold roleplayers in contempt. If they're unwelcome, it's because their cohorts have made a long-standing practice of disruptive behavior, trolling, and mockery.

A community under attack will raise barricades.

That doesn't mean that some, even many, might not have a genuine interest in RP, but the well's been poisoned. Perhaps that will change with time.

Quote
I've absolutely no idea if this is a critique of your earlier posts because reading through them, I've no idea why you and Katrina are disagreeing.

In terms of content, I think we're mostly not. The issue, as I see it (and I'm making an educated guess since she's bowed out, and I admire the willingness to do so), is that Katrina doesn't feel that the critics have a leg to stand on-- that the criticism of lesbian RP is invalid regardless of the reasoning behind it and should be denounced as such.

In declining to do so, I tread too close to taking their side.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Silas Vitalia on 23 Apr 2013, 14:12
is that Katrina doesn't feel that the critics have a leg to stand on-- that the criticism of lesbian RP is invalid regardless of the reasoning behind it and should be denounced as such.

It depends entirely where the criticism is coming from.

It's not because they are playing gay characters. I could give a shit who they are involved with IC. There are many examples of well written characters in hetero and homosexual relationships that bring a lot to the table.

It's because this particular cross section of player characters (the capital Space Lesbian), are generally attention-seeking slashfic horndogs who shoe-horn their desire for erotic roleplay into any and all situations regardless of circumstance. IMO this deserves ridicule. 

Somone: "Hey how's it going, having a good day?"

/spacelesbian54419 whips their erotic lesbian lover slave pet into a frenzy and begins a vigerous makeout session in the public channel
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aria Jenneth on 23 Apr 2013, 14:28
Silas, I think that it can be pretty well agreed by most that characters (heterosexual, homosexual, makes no difference) who go and get all exhibitionist with their sexuality in the rest of our faces are ... well, I'll leave the editorializing on the subject to you. Let's assume for the moment that a capitalized Space Lesbian fits into this category.

Reasonable minds can maybe differ on how best to approach Space Lesbians, but most of the complaints, here, are coming from people who are tired of having their characters, who are lesbian capsuleers, hence lesbians in space, treated as though they were Space Lesbians.

Even if we assume that rough treatment of Space Lesbians is fully justified, there's still an issue of unreliable pattern recognition (not necessarily yours, mind you) leading to blurry aim and justifiably angry players.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Silas Vitalia on 23 Apr 2013, 14:38
Good points,

I think people unfairly in those cross-hairs should tell their critics ooc to take a long walk out of a short airlock.  :P
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Creep on 23 Apr 2013, 16:59

Do you think a woman playing a gay male would come in for the same kind of criticism? I'm not sure she would.

There's definitely the potential.

There's a phenomenon very similar to the male fetishization of lesbians that exists in some women (and is made veeeeery obvious on the internet, particularly in miscellaneous Fan Fiction and on Tumblr), which is that a number of women find gay men (particularly the effeminate ones) to be absolutely adorable, which can go from a sort of "lookit the fuzzy kitten" fascination, to "now I want him to do things with that guy, sans clothing" sexualization. (Of a particularly creepy note was the discovery that some of these women do this with men they know in real life, going so far as to imagine relationships for them with other men, and take pictures on the sly of these men together. ~tumblr~)

This makes the perception of being "SpaceGay" (a woman using a homosexual male character for sexual fantasies) a very plausible counterpart to SpaceLesbians.

...On the other hand they may just stick to writing erotic "slash" fanfiction starring Roden and Heth, so who knows?
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 23 Apr 2013, 18:34
Even if half the female players picked gay male character, you wouldn't have as many of them as Space Lesbians though. The female population of EVE is just too small.

That being said people who don't spend that time and effort to develop themselves and appear out of thin air to wave their desires for space lesbian sexychats in everyone's face uninvited will be met with ridicule ammunition on full broadside from me.

Muchas gracias.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Morwen Lagann on 23 Apr 2013, 18:35
For most characters that happen to be lesbian, I have to have it pointed out for me to be aware of the fact.

Morwen outed herself to Makkal the other day.

She didn't even blink an eye. She just closed them both and passed out without even noticing. :lol:
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Creep on 23 Apr 2013, 22:33
Even if half the female players picked gay male character, you wouldn't have as many of them as Space Lesbians though. The female population of EVE is just too small.
Hence why I said Potential. I did encounter the one, though, and I admit that I was the one who sneered from behind the computer screen and edged her male character out of the on-going discussion (In my defense, the character kept doing that squealing thing that people do in mangas/japanese anime.).
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: BloodBird on 24 Apr 2013, 06:15
I believe this refers to the all common space virus which turns 95% of all female Eve RPers into lesbians.  Unless there's something in the water of New Eden its at a rate and level as to imply nearly the entire capsuleer female population is gay.

Which is super fine, but we'd imagine more of a balance perhaps. I'd imagine most of these cultures are past caring about  that sort of thing, of course.


If I had to put my finger on it I'd say it stems from the mostly male players behind female characters generally not interested in sexychats with other male characters, but rather other female characters.  I'd imagine if I'm a hetero man RPing a relationship I'd prefer to think about a space lady than some space man's dong in my face.   So to speak.

To each their own though of course!

Also the term is generally tossed about often when a 'new' female character shows up, is extremely sexual from the start, is a lesbian, and generally doesn't have much else going on beyond cruising for love in the chats, etc etc.

Wanted to chime in and add my own 0.02 isk, but I don't have to, it would be more-or-less a carbon-copy of the above. And such is basically what I've viewed 'space lesbos' as being - a derogatory term utilized for the type of characters that exist solely to run out some cyber-fantasy, to put it simple. Beyond that I could not care less who sleeps with who in an IC or OOC manner as it's none of my concern. I also avoid the topic in regards to my own characters by way of having my main married to an NPC (albeit a dead one at this point) and my other main getting her desires dealt with in her own way. (I have not actaully fleshed out what this is yet due to laziness in making the char-sheet.)

At least there isn't a massive proliferation of futas.

*shudder*

This can be arranged.

And I love the explanation Silas gave on straight males not wanting to ERP with males. Sounds pretty logical indeed.

In the same vein, it'd be 'logical' to assume that those people that make a fuss about 'space lesbians' have a problem with assertive, male-ish females that would pose a thread to them scoring or somesuch.

Elaborate. Are you saying that because someone fusses about 'Space lesbians' they are men insecure about themselves to the point of finding females portrayed as anything but squimish girls to be threatening, or that a lesbian is automatically are 'stronger' for being lesbians? Because that is a huge can of worms, as far as I'm concerned.

Also is Eve rp all about sex?

No, but when you observed the kind of wide-spread 'space lesbianism' that was described earlier (plenty of female toons being sexually engaged with other females to the point of seriously outnumbering any straight relationships, and treating their relationships as the only defining points of their toons) you might get the impression that EVE RP was just a huge load of cybering. Nothing could be further from the truth, obviously.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Nicoletta Mithra on 24 Apr 2013, 07:24
Elaborate. Are you saying that because someone fusses about 'Space lesbians' they are men insecure about themselves to the point of finding females portrayed as anything but squimish girls to be threatening, or that a lesbian is automatically are 'stronger' for being lesbians? Because that is a huge can of worms, as far as I'm concerned.
Neither nor. I'm saying if you hold it to be the 'logical' explanation that 'space lesbians' exist is that male players don't want a "space man's dong in [their] face", then it's just as 'logical' to say males that are complaining about space lesbians have a problem with strong, assertive females.

Which is to say, neither follows by any form of formal logic, at least. It's both a 'commonsense psychological' explanation at it's best and probably something worse.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: BloodBird on 24 Apr 2013, 09:10
  • I want to have something nice to look at while I play my game. (yay women reduced to sex objects)

Somewhat out of context here but are you honestly saying that any male player that makes a female toon think like this? Or is it merely your assumption on the part of those who in your words want to play lesbians straight out of a porn flick?

95% of players are male.

Not true. I don't recall where I got it from, but there was apparently a study checking up on this that sat the bar more along the lines of 55% male 45% female for gamers in general. Assuming the same goes for EVE (I see no reason why it should not) then barely over half off all EVE players are male.

As for the rest, good post.

The thing is, as a recipient of the benefits of white and cisgender privilege, when someone points out that a term or phrase is offensive to them, I stop using it.  I might not 'comprehend what all the fuss is about' beforehand, but being informed that it's offensive is enough for me.  It does puzzle me when people (and this is more in reference to the sort of culture Jade raised rather than in reference to this thread) refuse to acknowledge that their language is offensive, demeaning and exclusionary, and insist on continuing to use it.

We don't only control our own reaction to things: we also control our own speech and behavior. 

'Getting offended' may not change anything: but informing others that we have been offended is a different matter. It puts out in the open the offensive nature of some language choices, which the possessors of privilege might not have considered.

Of course, that's no guarantee they'll stop using them: but it certainly removes any excuse of ignorance, and makes perfectly clear the attitudes of those who continue to choose to use terms they now know are offensive, hurtful, and exclusionary.

Agreed. People may be ignorant of the fact that their actions can be considered offensive, but once this is pointed out, they have no excuse not to take action. They might ignore it and move on, or they might do something about it.

As an example, some years ago I was on vacation with my kin in Thailand. We visited a religious site tended by a group of monks, among other places. A poster respectfully asked that we mind the beliefs of the monks and do simple things like cover our heads, etc. We did. In doing this we were in the minority among the tourist that were there at the time. We wondered why they didn't bother to do so, but mostly came to the consensus that it was not a very respectful thing to do.

I consider such a thing as being along the same lines as visiting someone's home, being asked to do or refrain from a specific action we might otherwise do, like going outside for our smoking-needs instead of inside, then ignoring the request anyway. It tends to speak badly of the one doing it.

Pardon moi for Necroing

Funny, I got the impression mostly that it was the low-sec pirates with their UNSTOPPABLE RAPE-TRAINSPWN-BUSSES that enforced the horny homo-men theme. I spent half a year in a merc-corp where the standard was a bit of harmless homo-related jokes mostly as self-defaming devices ala "the happy space men" jokes. Interestingly enough many of the members made a corp named just that after said corp stopped being active. We fought plenty of low-sec pirates in our time and this theme was rather prevalent. Regardless, I get what you mean. Least I think I do.

Elaborate. Are you saying that because someone fusses about 'Space lesbians' they are men insecure about themselves to the point of finding females portrayed as anything but squimish girls to be threatening, or that a lesbian is automatically are 'stronger' for being lesbians? Because that is a huge can of worms, as far as I'm concerned.
Neither nor. I'm saying if you hold it to be the 'logical' explanation that 'space lesbians' exist is that male players don't want a "space man's dong in [their] face", then it's just as 'logical' to say males that are complaining about space lesbians have a problem with strong, assertive females.

Which is to say, neither follows by any form of formal logic, at least. It's both a 'commonsense psychological' explanation at it's best and probably something worse.

Now I get you. I think :O
[/list]
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aria Jenneth on 24 Apr 2013, 09:41
95% of players are male.

Not true. I don't recall where I got it from, but there was apparently a study checking up on this that sat the bar more along the lines of 55% male 45% female for gamers in general. Assuming the same goes for EVE (I see no reason why it should not) then barely over half off all EVE players are male.

Um. Your assumption, sadly, is in error. Jade's statistic is correct as of a couple years back, anyway. I remember seeing something about the proportion increasing, however.

I've introduced Eve to a couple of women I've known, including my wife. They've found it either too cutthroat (culture) or counter-intuitive and bothersome (interface) (this is what put my wife off; she loves the culture), and chose not to stick around; all the Eve players I know locally are guys.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Iwan Terpalen on 24 Apr 2013, 09:48
The more PvP-focused games tend to be boys' clubs almost exclusively. The last I heard, for example, 96% of LoL players are male. From what I've seen personally, we might be a little better off, but certainly not by much.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: kalaratiri on 24 Apr 2013, 09:55
In my 5 years of playing I've never been in a corp without at least one girl in it. I've no idea if this was just luck, or if there are more women than everyone thinks :P I spent most of 2010 playing with four australian girls, a large chunk of 2009 playing with a south african girl, and at one point in early-mid 2010 shared a corp with Arydanika. Right from when I first started in 2008 I met a few women in Paxton Federation (yes, I was once Proviblock >_>).

I don't think women are as unusual in EVE as people think they are. Not a majority maybe, but I'd say closer to 20% than 5%.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aria Jenneth on 24 Apr 2013, 10:02
I don't think women are as unusual in EVE as people think they are. Not a majority maybe, but I'd say closer to 20% than 5%.

That would track what I remember hearing about increasing proportion. However, I don't think it's quite that high-- women also seem to have a larger slice of the roleplaying community than the game's population at large.

That might just be my own perception, mind you.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Silas Vitalia on 24 Apr 2013, 10:09
Women are a majority of 'gamers' these days, especially when including mobile gaming. It's something like 60/40.

EVE is incredibly niche and doesn't follow that trend.   10% maybe.


Interesting points regarding the 'being offended' conversation.

Language is powerful and matters more to some than others. I choose not to use certain language due to the amount of homosexuals I'm friends with and that are in my social circiles, even if they sometimes do themselves. 

On the other hand in general someone telling me how super offended they are by something makes me have the immediate reaction of wanting to do it back to them twice as bad and tell them to HTFU sometimes.  You're offended, great. Get over it.

Ah, the tightropes we walk.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 24 Apr 2013, 11:26
That being said people who don't spend that time and effort to develop themselves and appear out of thin air to wave their desires for space lesbian sexychats in everyone's face uninvited will be met with ridicule ammunition on full broadside from me.

Funnily enough in the posthuman cultural melange of eve online (influenced admittedly from my enjoyment of the culture novels and similarly sexy scifi Utopias) I find it far easier to believe the characterisation of lesbian / bi / gay / transgendered / fetish / queer / kink / whatever sexychats without prior background development and accredited RP certificate of approval, than I do the average tyrannical space warlord or knuckle-dragging religious extremist.

Guy comes from nowhere and claims to be a hotshot dangerous pirate or übermerc, alliance warlord etc and I am extremely cynical about that characterisation because most likely they never anything to earn the rep. I'm being asked to give credence to something I highly doubt has basis in game reality and that's something I do find a bit jarring (see my many past RP scandals and wars and whatnot).

On the other hand I see a couple of neon facepaint wearing space lesbians making out with fruit bowls, hair clips and dog collars in the Holofeed and that does absolutely nothing to break my suspension of disbelief or to damage my immersion in the setting. On the contrary eve is (was) as seedy, adult, beautiful tacky world of weird and wonderful sexuality and blade runner visuals with human life as cheap as the morals, ethics and general disposition of its population. Star Wars cantina scene with more dildos, spiked collars and poppers basically.

This is the game world where the most esteemed Amarrian cleric of the early years kept naked golden slave children in cages for heavens sake... It's always been pretty ripe.

I guess the summary is that sexytime space lesbians work for me as believable background to a space age posthuman vision of the ultra rich near immortal capsule pilot caste. Certainly far better than tough guy pirates who mostly run level 4 missions and would dare say boo to a goose in lowsec. Then again I have always loved futuristic orgy scenes in racy scifi movies :)


Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Louella Dougans on 24 Apr 2013, 11:32
statistics for women players of EVE were obtained from the CSM voting patterns.

I'll see if I can find the link

CSM7 http://community.eveonline.com/news/dev-blogs/csm-7-the-results/
Female users seem less inclined to vote than male users, with 3.51% of voters being female despite making up 5.11% of the total EVE user base.

CSM6 http://community.eveonline.com/news/dev-blogs/2293
Male voters were once again 96.9% of the voting total number and female voters 3.1%. This is compared to the 96% male and 4% female ratio of the EVE user base.

CSM5 http://community.eveonline.com/news/dev-blogs/csm5-election-the-results-are-in/
This is compared to the 96% male and 4% female ratio of the player base, indicating that male users were more likely than female users to vote in this election

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Silas Vitalia on 24 Apr 2013, 11:43
That being said people who don't spend that time and effort to develop themselves and appear out of thin air to wave their desires for space lesbian sexychats in everyone's face uninvited will be met with ridicule ammunition on full broadside from me.

Funnily enough in the posthuman cultural melange of eve online (influenced admittedly from my enjoyment of the culture novels and similarly sexy scifi Utopias) I find it far easier to believe the characterisation of lesbian / bi / gay / transgendered / fetish / queer / kink / whatever sexychats without prior background development and accredited RP certificate of approval, than I do the average tyrannical space warlord or knuckle-dragging religious extremist.

Guy comes from nowhere and claims to be a hotshot dangerous pirate or übermerc, alliance warlord etc and I am extremely cynical about that characterisation because most likely they never anything to earn the rep. I'm being asked to give credence to something I highly doubt has basis in game reality and that's something I do find a bit jarring (see my many past RP scandals and wars and whatnot).

On the other hand I see a couple of neon facepaint wearing space lesbians making out with fruit bowls, hair clips and dog collars in the Holofeed and that does absolutely nothing to break my suspension of disbelief or to damage my immersion in the setting. On the contrary eve is (was) as seedy, adult, beautiful tacky world of weird and wonderful sexuality and blade runner visuals with human life as cheap as the morals, ethics and general disposition of its population. Star Wars cantina scene with more dildos, spiked collars and poppers basically.

This is the game world where the most esteemed Amarrian cleric of the early years kept naked golden slave children in cages for heavens sake... It's always been pretty ripe.

I guess the summary is that sexytime space lesbians work for me as believable background to a space age posthuman vision of the ultra rich near immortal capsule pilot caste. Certainly far better than tough guy pirates who mostly run level 4 missions and would dare say boo to a goose in lowsec. Then again I have always loved futuristic orgy scenes in racy scifi movies :)

Jade,

Good points,

Tough guy level 4 missioners coming out of nowhere with the 'I'm dangerous' attitude are just as guilty, and I think the same disbelief should absolutely apply to them.

It's the thought that goes into it and how well it's all written.

The sort of lax sexual future environments you describe are absolutely valid and I'd expect to see plenty of that sort of thing in the right context. Context being key. 
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 24 Apr 2013, 12:11
Eve might be a posthuman cultural melange, but it's players and creators are from the real world.
Therefore, it's fine to criticize the sexualization of characters from a real world standpoint.

Prior to the Jell-O match, someone suggests Pieter tear off Ava's shirt to show her boobs. No one suggested Ava tear off Pieter's briefs to show his dick.

Why? Because they're not people from a far flung future. They're a bunch of modern day people siting in front of computers and the content they create reflects that.


For most characters that happen to be lesbian, I have to have it pointed out for me to be aware of the fact.
Morwen outed herself to Makkal the other day.

She didn't even blink an eye. She just closed them both and passed out without even noticing. :lol:
It needs to be pointed out when the character isn't half-sleep. (Or the player.) :p
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ché Biko on 24 Apr 2013, 13:39
[..]women also seem to have a larger slice of the roleplaying community than the game's population at large.

That might just be my own perception, mind you.
That is also my perception. I was surprised to see that in the "Show Yourself" thread revealed a surprising proportion of female players. I'd say the slice of female RP-ers is about 15-25%.
Prior to the Jell-O match, someone suggests Pieter tear off Ava's shirt to show her boobs.
Actually, it was also during the match, and Ché was totally expecting Ava to wear a bra. He said nothing about boobs.
... :eek:
Wait...when Ava was upside down...she was wearing underwear underneath her skirt, right?
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lithium Flower on 25 Apr 2013, 00:12
On the other hand I see a couple of neon facepaint wearing space lesbians making out with fruit bowls, hair clips and dog collars in the Holofeed and that does absolutely nothing to break my suspension of disbelief or to damage my immersion in the setting. On the contrary eve is (was) as seedy, adult, beautiful tacky world of weird and wonderful sexuality and blade runner visuals with human life as cheap as the morals, ethics and general disposition of its population. Star Wars cantina scene with more dildos, spiked collars and poppers basically.
That's how I always imagined Gallente Federation, where they put hedonism to extreme :lol:

I don't think that the future should be bound with open sexuality. For example, take into consideration a Roman Empire and what happened lately with coming of Christianity and dark ages.

With this idea I consider Amarrians more like puritans. Of course, there is sexuality, and children are born somehow, but they never allow it to public. And even if you have to be a lesbian in Amarr Empire (oh sinners sinners) you would never ever talk about it. It would be a character's "dark secret", that no one should ever know.

For Caldari society, as society of hard workers and corporatism, I would find the most suitable analogy in Soviet Union. Despite there were no religion there, there also were absolutely no public sexual content. And the main source for this was society itself. It was a habit to discuss people's misbehavior publicly, and if it happened to be of sexual origin, that was quite shameful for a person, and would have some not pleasant consequences. In the State power of society is very strong too. Depending on your corporation and standards of living of your neighbors, you could easily be fired or cast away if any of your perversion or adultery will come to public eye.

But before making "tonns" of characters with little "dark secrets", take into consideration, that in societies with limited sexuality, majority of peoples are not properly educated in this matter and have very little experience. Sexuality could simple "not exist" for them, and they could consider "Star Wars cantina scenes with dildos etc" as rather dirty decadence than something "stimulating" ;) This would be more like disgusting and confusing for a character.

More educated ones could say: "Why two women make a family together, this way they couldn't make any childs!"
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Silas Vitalia on 25 Apr 2013, 00:19
I strongly disagree with the concept of the Amarr being a bunch of prudes.

I think it takes on a -different- tone in the Empire.  Less flashy and superficial than the Federation but made up with more passion.

You better believe certain sectors of the aristocracy is into all manor of -insane- depravity of Roman disposition.

Also an Empire of beer and wine makers knows how to get down, you better believe it.

The Imperials don't have everything 'on display' like the Federation but I imagine in the right social settings not in mixed social classes things get just as nuts as anywhere else.



Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: lallara zhuul on 25 Apr 2013, 00:25
'Going nuts' is not the norm.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 25 Apr 2013, 00:34
I find myself agreeing with Silas.

I made Makkal a very 'clutching at pearl' 'praying each night not to have an impious thought about men or women' character, but I'd like to say I don't see that as reflecting the attitude of the Kingdom. It's the result of her upbringing.

My take has been that the Kingdom wants you to look 'decent' in public but people get up to all sorts of freaky stuff in private and it's fine.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Silver Night on 25 Apr 2013, 00:36
There's probably room for a really broad range, in the Empire as elsewhere. It may depend a lot on the exact community you come from.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 25 Apr 2013, 00:37
'Going nuts' is not the norm.

One might argue a theocratic state of trillions is the veritable epitome of the phrase ...
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 25 Apr 2013, 00:42
^ Point.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 25 Apr 2013, 00:53
Eve might be a posthuman cultural melange, but it's players and creators are from the real world.
Therefore, it's fine to criticize the sexualization of characters from a real world standpoint.

Not sure I understand your point here completely. Surely the point of any (most) roleplaying game(s) is to suspend ones out of character standpoints and cultural preferences in favour of those make believe background elements from the game itself? I cannot really see how critical analysis of scifi Eve sexuality and mores from the perspective of contemporary earth cultural bias is any more useful or pertinent then perhaps criticising the collective delusion that makes office workers and IT professionals convince themselves they are bloodythirsty space pilots and warlords of the future? Sure perhaps its basis for academic study or media fascination, but as a useful discussion of RP preferences ... Hmm, I'm not really convinced.


Quote
Prior to the Jell-O match, someone suggests Pieter tear off Ava's shirt to show her boobs. No one suggested Ava tear off Pieter's briefs to show his dick.

Why? Because they're not people from a far flung future. They're a bunch of modern day people siting in front of computers and the content they create reflects that.

Or maybe none of the roleplayers present were gay/bi or playing male gay/bi inclined characters? And as for modern day people's preferences on these things .... Have you watched the starz tv show "spartacus" that's one of the most splendidly over the top hyper sexualised beefcake blends of homo/straight eroticism I've ever seen and its been wildly successful tv for the creators. It's modern day people paying subs and watching that show.


Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 25 Apr 2013, 03:37
We're going to drift seriously off-topic if we start talking about 'the point' of RPing and how that concerns depictions of gender and sexuality.

Would you like to start a second topic and continue the conversation there?

Otherwise, I suspect a Catacombing will suck our posts into the netherworld.   
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: BloodBird on 25 Apr 2013, 03:43
Posts don't get cata'ed for being off topic.

They do however, get new treads, unless you make a new one yourself.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 25 Apr 2013, 03:56
We're going to drift seriously off-topic if we start talking about 'the point' of RPing and how that concerns depictions of gender and sexuality

In a thread about "space lesbians" and how they are depicted/viewed by the community ?

Honestly not sure it needs a split.

(Happy to defer to the ops preference though)
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lithium Flower on 25 Apr 2013, 04:16
'Going nuts' is not the norm.

One might argue a theocratic state of trillions is the veritable epitome of the phrase ...
The whole Europe for like a thousand of years was theocratic "state".
Religion is just a part of world-view. It is a philosophy, a substitution to thing that you cannot test or prove scientifically. It is a desire to understand the world without knowing the facts. And it is in human's nature.

Anyway, then everyone is nuts. Those, who believe in religion. Those, who believe in atheism. Those, who believe in ideals of communism. Those, who believe in ideals of democracy. Those, who believe their "fuhrer". And those, who believe nothing and just work as machines. Or do other stuff like rabbits. And eventually those, who play online games instead of growing crops. We all are nuts. Especially space lesbians.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 25 Apr 2013, 05:06
'Going nuts' is not the norm.

One might argue a theocratic state of trillions is the veritable epitome of the phrase ...
The whole Europe for like a thousand of years was theocratic "state".
Religion is just a part of world-view. It is a philosophy, a substitution to thing that you cannot test or prove scientifically. It is a desire to understand the world without knowing the facts. And it is in human's nature.

Anyway, then everyone is nuts. Those, who believe in religion. Those, who believe in atheism. Those, who believe in ideals of communism. Those, who believe in ideals of democracy. Those, who believe their "fuhrer". And those, who believe nothing and just work as machines. Or do other stuff like rabbits. And eventually those, who play online games instead of growing crops. We all are nuts. Especially space lesbians.



I think there is a significant area of difference between doing naked jellybean dances with your preferred erotic sexytime partner and mandating that everyone else on the continent must do likewise or face censure, sanction, torture and potential burning at the stake you know ...

Nice rant but not sure theocratic/fascist/communist/centrist/nutbag dehumanising tyranny is quite the same as ribald salacious hip jiggling and gender ambivalence on your average pride march.

Unless you believe it's going to send you to hell I guess.

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Gwen Ikiryo on 25 Apr 2013, 05:55
I wasn't going to get involved with this thread, but it's been going an awful long while now, so... Eh.

As both a woman and a lesbian, I will admit - And I don't claim that the reaction is based on any completely reasonable or logical premises and is probably largely personal bias I should work on - that I have a gut level negative reaction to men who play lesbian characters.

Don't get me wrong. That's not a universal statement. I've seen some do it absolutely fantastically, and many others at least realistically and inoffensively. But I've also witnessed so many frighteningly upsetting hypersexualised caricatures that take a key element of my identity (more then that, one that I've faced discrimination and been mocked for) and turn it into essentially a cheap fantasy, that, well...

It's hard to not get a bit cynical.

And, of course, there's the fact that I often get lumped into the same catagory as them for merely representing my own sexuality. I'm not really sure who should, or can, be blamed for that, though. If anyone.

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ava Starfire on 25 Apr 2013, 06:32
That being said people who don't spend that time and effort to develop themselves and appear out of thin air to wave their desires for space lesbian sexychats in everyone's face uninvited will be met with ridicule ammunition on full broadside from me.

Funnily enough in the posthuman cultural melange of eve online (influenced admittedly from my enjoyment of the culture novels and similarly sexy scifi Utopias) I find it far easier to believe the characterisation of lesbian / bi / gay / transgendered / fetish / queer / kink / whatever sexychats without prior background development and accredited RP certificate of approval, than I do the average tyrannical space warlord or knuckle-dragging religious extremist.

Guy comes from nowhere and claims to be a hotshot dangerous pirate or übermerc, alliance warlord etc and I am extremely cynical about that characterisation because most likely they never anything to earn the rep. I'm being asked to give credence to something I highly doubt has basis in game reality and that's something I do find a bit jarring (see my many past RP scandals and wars and whatnot).

On the other hand I see a couple of neon facepaint wearing space lesbians making out with fruit bowls, hair clips and dog collars in the Holofeed and that does absolutely nothing to break my suspension of disbelief or to damage my immersion in the setting. On the contrary eve is (was) as seedy, adult, beautiful tacky world of weird and wonderful sexuality and blade runner visuals with human life as cheap as the morals, ethics and general disposition of its population. Star Wars cantina scene with more dildos, spiked collars and poppers basically.

This is the game world where the most esteemed Amarrian cleric of the early years kept naked golden slave children in cages for heavens sake... It's always been pretty ripe.

I guess the summary is that sexytime space lesbians work for me as believable background to a space age posthuman vision of the ultra rich near immortal capsule pilot caste. Certainly far better than tough guy pirates who mostly run level 4 missions and would dare say boo to a goose in lowsec. Then again I have always loved futuristic orgy scenes in racy scifi movies :)

I lol'ed. This is a good point, though, that in ANY group of RPers there are the "Look at me" sorts, from Amarrian slavers who prove how commanding and powerful they are by taking it out on slaves, to Minmatar freedom fighters who howl about the above RPer's behaviour at every chance. All of them are equally ridiculous to the "I am super kinky space lesbian, who wants to tie me down touch my bits?" and all of them usually get onto my block list pretty fast.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ava Starfire on 25 Apr 2013, 06:33
[..]women also seem to have a larger slice of the roleplaying community than the game's population at large.

That might just be my own perception, mind you.
That is also my perception. I was surprised to see that in the "Show Yourself" thread revealed a surprising proportion of female players. I'd say the slice of female RP-ers is about 15-25%.
Prior to the Jell-O match, someone suggests Pieter tear off Ava's shirt to show her boobs.
Actually, it was also during the match, and Ché was totally expecting Ava to wear a bra. He said nothing about boobs.
... :eek:
Wait...when Ava was upside down...she was wearing underwear underneath her skirt, right?

Yes, Ava was wearing a 1 piece bathing suit beneath the ridiculousness, for any who wondered.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lithium Flower on 25 Apr 2013, 08:52
Nice rant but not sure theocratic/fascist/communist/centrist/nutbag dehumanising tyranny is quite the same as ribald salacious hip jiggling and gender ambivalence on your average pride march.
With all due respect, and accepting the fact that I am not very skilled in english, I recommend you to understand meaning of the word "tyranny" before using it. Because it is not of english origin and existing in many other languages.

In all these theocratic/fascist/democratic/communist and many other societies where homosexual relations are judged, it comes not from tyrant, but from the society itself. Besides, just having theocratic/fascist/democratic/communist etc society does not imply existence of the tyrant at all.

Besides, even in such societies tyrant (if exists) can be a hidden lesbian  :lol:
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Creep on 25 Apr 2013, 10:54
Quote
Quote
Prior to the Jell-O match, someone suggests Pieter tear off Ava's shirt to show her boobs. No one suggested Ava tear off Pieter's briefs to show his dick.

Why? Because they're not people from a far flung future. They're a bunch of modern day people siting in front of computers and the content they create reflects that.

Or maybe none of the roleplayers present were gay/bi or playing male gay/bi inclined characters? And as for modern day people's preferences on these things .... Have you watched the starz tv show "spartacus" that's one of the most splendidly over the top hyper sexualised beefcake blends of homo/straight eroticism I've ever seen and its been wildly successful tv for the creators. It's modern day people paying subs and watching that show.
Yeah...no. Anglophone Cultures are not host to a post-heteronormative society IRL. Not by a long shot. Not yet, anyway.

I agree entirely with Makkal on this: Many RPers — but not all! — are so used to cultural tropes they live with that it doesn't even occur to them to alter them in their RP.
For example, characters still speak. Why? In a hyper-digitalized future with fluidrouter coms and nigh-telepathic implants, why are people still using their mouths to talk, rather than just eat and maybe do some humming? (I suspect that there ARE some characters who don't speak, but I suspect that this is a major character trait, rather than something that's about as notable as, say, an iPhone). Verbal communication is slower and takes more effort than brainwave-texting.

Or, say, the cosmopolitan-type Gallente (rather than home-planet dwelling Jin Mei or Mannar who may be more traditional) seeing genitals as inherently sexual. Or something that is inherently sexual being something to keep private. Casual public nudity as something that is awkward. PF suggests that these attitudes are no longer the societal norm in the Federation, just as an example. Not everyone is walking around with their entire body on display, but Fed citizens don't find those who do to be a novelty — not even an acceptable novelty — but rather are a subculture like goths, punks, or hipsters are today.
[Note: I am not defending the people who jump into a Role Play situation and start waving sexual topics in people's faces. Natural Conversations tend not to flow like that, and for Sexuality to be that mundane, it would also stop being a defining characteristic (and become something about as important as eye-color). This is another piece of evidence supporting Makkal's assertion of Presentism in RP.]

Which leads me to...

Eve might be a posthuman cultural melange, but it's players and creators are from the real world.
Therefore, it's fine to criticize the sexualization of characters from a real world standpoint.

Not sure I understand your point here completely. Surely the point of any (most) roleplaying game(s) is to suspend ones out of character standpoints and cultural preferences in favour of those make believe background elements from the game itself? I cannot really see how critical analysis of scifi Eve sexuality and mores from the perspective of contemporary earth cultural bias is any more useful or pertinent then perhaps criticising the collective delusion that makes office workers and IT professionals convince themselves they are bloodythirsty space pilots and warlords of the future? Sure perhaps its basis for academic study or media fascination, but as a useful discussion of RP preferences ... Hmm, I'm not really convinced.
I could be wrong, but I think, Jade, that you're misinterpreting what Makkal is saying (Or maybe I'm the one misinterpreting Makkal's statement!).
I think she's saying that Modern Day Players are going to play their Future People in a Non-Future way (and it's mostly not their fault, so that's fine).
BUT, that it is also equally fine for us to criticize these Modern Day Players when they give their Future People the sexual tropes of Modern Day People, rather than portraying their Future People as having Future Attitudes towards Sexuality.

(Her wording is, I admit, somewhat ambiguous.)


Also, whip Pieter's trousers off next time, Ava, thanks in advance.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Aria Jenneth on 25 Apr 2013, 12:13
I wasn't going to get involved with this thread, but it's been going an awful long while now, so... Eh.

As both a woman and a lesbian, I will admit - And I don't claim that the reaction is based on any completely reasonable or logical premises and is probably largely personal bias I should work on - that I have a gut level negative reaction to men who play lesbian characters.

Don't get me wrong. That's not a universal statement. I've seen some do it absolutely fantastically, and many others at least realistically and inoffensively. But I've also witnessed so many frighteningly upsetting hypersexualised caricatures that take a key element of my identity (more then that, one that I've faced discrimination and been mocked for) and turn it into essentially a cheap fantasy, that, well...

It's hard to not get a bit cynical.

And, of course, there's the fact that I often get lumped into the same catagory as them for merely representing my own sexuality. I'm not really sure who should, or can, be blamed for that, though. If anyone.

Though I understand that Gwen's remarks may be difficult to answer, I would like to see others' thoughts on this.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 25 Apr 2013, 12:53
Gwen's thoughts are much like my own.

As a queer woman, having my sexuality reduced to someone else's (http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-fappery.gif) sucks on a gut level.

Likewise, the idea that someone might criticize me for making 'yet another space lesbian' is infuriating. And to tie this to the original post, yes, when I first heard the term 'spacelesbian' I assumed it was an insult and had bad feels.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Ghost Hunter on 25 Apr 2013, 12:55
I wasn't going to get involved with this thread, but it's been going an awful long while now, so... Eh.

As both a woman and a lesbian, I will admit - And I don't claim that the reaction is based on any completely reasonable or logical premises and is probably largely personal bias I should work on - that I have a gut level negative reaction to men who play lesbian characters.

Don't get me wrong. That's not a universal statement. I've seen some do it absolutely fantastically, and many others at least realistically and inoffensively. But I've also witnessed so many frighteningly upsetting hypersexualised caricatures that take a key element of my identity (more then that, one that I've faced discrimination and been mocked for) and turn it into essentially a cheap fantasy, that, well...

It's hard to not get a bit cynical.

And, of course, there's the fact that I often get lumped into the same catagory as them for merely representing my own sexuality. I'm not really sure who should, or can, be blamed for that, though. If anyone.

Though I understand that Gwen's remarks may be difficult to answer, I would like to see others' thoughts on this.

I am not certain what your intent is, Aria?

Gwen's position to me is 'complete', so I am not certain what thoughts could be expressed that aren't simple agreements.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Natalcya Katla on 25 Apr 2013, 13:02
I wasn't going to get involved with this thread, but it's been going an awful long while now, so... Eh.

As both a woman and a lesbian, I will admit - And I don't claim that the reaction is based on any completely reasonable or logical premises and is probably largely personal bias I should work on - that I have a gut level negative reaction to men who play lesbian characters.

Don't get me wrong. That's not a universal statement. I've seen some do it absolutely fantastically, and many others at least realistically and inoffensively. But I've also witnessed so many frighteningly upsetting hypersexualised caricatures that take a key element of my identity (more then that, one that I've faced discrimination and been mocked for) and turn it into essentially a cheap fantasy, that, well...

It's hard to not get a bit cynical.

And, of course, there's the fact that I often get lumped into the same catagory as them for merely representing my own sexuality. I'm not really sure who should, or can, be blamed for that, though. If anyone.

Though I understand that Gwen's remarks may be difficult to answer, I would like to see others' thoughts on this.

This is perhaps a bit of a wishy-washy answer, but...

I would say having this kind of gut reaction isn't wrong, unreasonable or anything of the sort. It's perfectly understandable. On the other hand, I don't believe a roleplay environment where nobody ever gets their OOC comfort zones intruded upon is something to aim for. All my female characters are straight, at least as far as they've gotten romantically involved with others, but I know for a fact that some of them have invoked OOC reactions of discomfort due to their IC words or actions. I have also experienced such discomfort myself with regard to others.

If I were to give advice, I suppose the best I can offer is to not necessarily try to get rid of the gut reaction itself, but rather try to look past it and judge characters on individual merit - which it seems is the case already. Those who turn out to not merit such a benefit of doubt, if you will, can be blocked if they get too grating. vOv
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 25 Apr 2013, 16:21
I wasn't going to get involved with this thread, but it's been going an awful long while now, so... Eh.

As both a woman and a lesbian, I will admit - And I don't claim that the reaction is based on any completely reasonable or logical premises and is probably largely personal bias I should work on - that I have a gut level negative reaction to men who play lesbian characters.

Don't get me wrong. That's not a universal statement. I've seen some do it absolutely fantastically, and many others at least realistically and inoffensively. But I've also witnessed so many frighteningly upsetting hypersexualised caricatures that take a key element of my identity (more then that, one that I've faced discrimination and been mocked for) and turn it into essentially a cheap fantasy, that, well...

It's hard to not get a bit cynical.

And, of course, there's the fact that I often get lumped into the same catagory as them for merely representing my own sexuality. I'm not really sure who should, or can, be blamed for that, though. If anyone.

Though I understand that Gwen's remarks may be difficult to answer, I would like to see others' thoughts on this.


Two out of three ooc female posters on the last page confirmed as "space lesbians" was my first thought I must admit :)

(A ratio which is not far from current portrayal of female archetypes in the RP community)

Seriously though, since I don't really criticise any consenting adults lifestyle choices or sexual pecadillos I think the whole "lumping In" thing goes over my head. I don't think people should be overtly sniffy about people playing with gender identity for serious psychosexual roleplay exploration(tm) or for general erotic titilation for that matter.

 Look at it this way, a couple of guys pretending to be ersatz space lesbians and sexing each other up on the internet and finding themselves getting off on the alternative gender roles are quite unlikely be marching around town centres with "death 2 queers" and "faggots burn In hell" placards come their weekend off.

In the grand scheme of things I think that's a more significant takeaway than concerns about fake space lesbians trespassing on the sacred aura of true space lesbians with their chintzy makeup, false lashes and exaggerated sultry walks. Homophobia kills people irl, however that curse is diminished has got to be worth considering in the light of pure pragmatic enlightened self interest.

For that matter, what do the genuine lesbians in our audience make of real life transvestism for erotic activities? Does the crass hyper sexualisation of feminine aspects on view offend sensibilities to a similar extent?





Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 25 Apr 2013, 16:45
For that matter, what do the genuine lesbians in our audience make of real life trannies, transgendered and drag queens? Does the crass hyper sexualisation of feminine aspects on view offend sensibilities to a similar extent?

'Trannies?' Seriously?

Transwomen are women. They are not a 'crass hyper sexualization.' Some of them might be highly sexual but what a woman chooses to do with her body and who she does it with isn't comparable to men role-playing as lesbians online.

That leaves drag queens, and drag typically involves camp, not getting off.

You're kind of grasping at straws here.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Samira Kernher on 25 Apr 2013, 16:48
For that matter, what do the genuine lesbians in our audience make of real life trannies, transgendered and drag queens? Does the crass hyper sexualisation of feminine aspects on view offend sensibilities to a similar extent?

Wait... what?

I hope you're not trying to imply that real life transgendered people are "crass hyper sexualization of femininity". That's rather offensive, if so.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 25 Apr 2013, 17:23
For that matter, what do the genuine lesbians in our audience make of real life trannies, transgendered and drag queens? Does the crass hyper sexualisation of feminine aspects on view offend sensibilities to a similar extent?

Wait... what?

I hope you're not trying to imply that real life transgendered people are "crass hyper sexualization of femininity". That's rather offensive, if so.

I am certainly saying particular feminine aspects can be viewed as hyper sexualised in the context of transgendered people of all kinds (if you are of a mind to criticise such things). I obviously am not of such a mind, as I would hope my opinions and general approach to individual sexual expression would have been adequately demonstrated by my posting on the subject.

What I mean to imply/pretty overtly state, above is that a person taking offence at two men roleplaying space lesbians in an online game because it cheapens their own rl identity as a genuine female lesbian in some way is not greatly different from the argument that a man dressing up as a woman for erotic purposes irl is somehow mocking the sacred sexuality of the female form.

But really, its just sex. Do what you please, and as long as it pleases you and your partner its no business of mine to criticise.

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Samira Kernher on 25 Apr 2013, 17:34
What I mean to imply/pretty overtly state, above is that a person taking offence at two men roleplaying space lesbians in an online game because it cheapens their own rl identity as a genuine female lesbian in some way is not greatly different from the argument that a man dressing up as a woman for erotic purposes irl is somehow mocking the sacred sexuality of the female form.

Then you're speaking of transvestites (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transvestic_fetishism) and "shemales (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She-male)" and should make that clear, as saying "transgender" implies you're speaking of the entire transgender community, of which most of us happen to be transgendered for gender identity and not "sexual thrill".

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Creep on 25 Apr 2013, 17:36
For that matter, what do the genuine lesbians in our audience make of real life trannies, transgendered and drag queens? Does the crass hyper sexualisation of feminine aspects on view offend sensibilities to a similar extent?

Wait... what?

I hope you're not trying to imply that real life transgendered people are "crass hyper sexualization of femininity". That's rather offensive, if so.

What I mean to imply/pretty overtly state, above is that a person taking offence at two men roleplaying space lesbians in an online game because it cheapens their own rl identity as a genuine female lesbian in some way is not greatly different from the argument that a man dressing up as a woman for erotic purposes irl is somehow mocking the sacred sexuality of the female form.

But really, its just sex. Do what you please, and as long as it pleases you and your partner its no business of mine to criticise.
So, Drag Queens. And even the Queens aren't doing it just for the sex. It's an entire subculture, and not just a sexual subculture either.

Trangender people aren't in it for the sex. It's because at birth, the genetic tag that switches the [default] female development to male sexual characteristics didn't (or DID) get activated like it was supposed to. Male meat-computer in female meat-robot/female meat-computer in male-meat robot. Shit happens, and they correct it(given adequate funds).
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 25 Apr 2013, 17:37
For that matter, what do the genuine lesbians in our audience make of real life trannies, transgendered and drag queens? Does the crass hyper sexualisation of feminine aspects on view offend sensibilities to a similar extent?

'Trannies?' Seriously?

Transwomen are women. They are not a 'crass hyper sexualization.' Some of them might be highly sexual but what a woman chooses to do with her body and who she does it with isn't comparable to men role-playing as lesbians online.

That leaves drag queens, and drag typically involves camp, not getting off.

You're kind of grasping at straws here.

There may be some linguistic confusion here. In the UK, the term trannie can be shorthand for transvestite as well as transsexual (both pre and post op) - perhaps what you would see as a drag queen would be the tamer children's panto version of transvestism that is quite innocent, but full transvestism amongst consenting adults certainly moves into the realms of erotic encounters and as you so delicately term it "getting off".

As to the question of crass hypersexualisation, both you and the poster above misread the question I actually asked by changing the quotes around to simulate an offensive allusion ... please don't do it. I specifically addressed the correlation between real lesbians being offended by fake online lesbians portraying sexuality in a crass manner, and real lesbians (of whom I have many amongst my friends in Brighton) perhaps being offended at the crass hypersexualisation of feminine aspects on view amongst transvestites attending bars and clubs around my home town (some of which also happen to be amongst my friends).

I wondered aloud if you would be as offended by a pair of men dressed as women flirting at a dance club irl as you might be by a pair of men playing sexualised female characters in an online game?

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Creep on 25 Apr 2013, 17:41
Follow-up (because I've never asked any of my irl friends this and I'm genuinely curious): How about two actual women, who are straight, pretending to be lesbians to attract men(presumably in a club or bar)?

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 25 Apr 2013, 17:48
Follow-up (because I've never asked any of my irl friends this and I'm genuinely curious): How about two actual women, who are straight, pretending to be lesbians to attract men(presumably in a club or bar)?

My daughter and her best friend have done that fairly often, its also a pretty common get out of jail card when they decide the potential suitors are unsuitable "sorry but we're not actually into men" (smouldering glances across the table into each others eyes)

Of course I can't really lecture on the ethics of this stuff, some of the best nightclubs and bars in Brighton serve a fruity clientele and its often necessary to take an open minded male friend for appropriate camouflage (and cheap happy hour beverages).


Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Gwen Ikiryo on 25 Apr 2013, 17:50
Look at it this way, a couple of guys pretending to be ersatz space lesbians and sexing each other up on the internet and finding themselves getting off on the alternative gender roles are quite unlikely be marching around town centres with "death 2 queers" and "faggots burn In hell" placards come their weekend off.

In the grand scheme of things I think that's a more significant takeaway than concerns about fake space lesbians trespassing on the sacred aura of true space lesbians with their chintzy makeup, false lashes and exaggerated sultry walks. Homophobia kills people irl, however that curse is diminished has got to be worth considering in the light of pure pragmatic enlightened self interest.

I've seen this idea thrown around a lot in regard to this topic, but it's a fallacy. Let me say, hopefully without offending any parties reading that fit the bill and do it well, that I have met some absolutely unambiguously sexist and homophobically hateful individuals who play "lesbian" characters in MMORPGS.

For example, there was an individual who I knew on WoW, god knows how many years ago, who played a bisexual (but realistically, only interested in females) night elf. He was relatively open about the fact that OOCly, he found lesbians to be perverted and self-deluded deviants, but his philosophy was that if playing one is fun, hey, nothing wrong with that, right? With one hand he would make a carnally driven farce out of something I considered very serious, and with the other he'd contribute to an overall hostile environment for me, personally.

Portraying something in roleplay doesn't at all imply acceptance or even tolerance.

And for the record, it's not extremists "marching around town centers" and cracking peoples heads open that cause me the most grief in day to day life by a long shot. It's the far greater amount of people contributing in a thousand small ways to the subtle culture of disrespect and passive hatred. Of which the person described above is certainly one.

So you'll forgive me if I don't feel much in the way of "englightened self interest" in being completely cool with the stuff, especially when it's an instance that effects me on an individual level.

For that matter, what do the genuine lesbians in our audience make of real life trannies, transgendered and drag queens? Does the crass hyper sexualisation of feminine aspects on view offend sensibilities to a similar extent?

I'm not sure what to say about this that others haven't already than:

1. I find the comparison between someone who is playing a character on a video game that they get up and walk away from every night to someone who is commiting completely to fundementally changing their identity to correct something that brings them considerable personal misery to be a bit ludicrous, especially since they are very rarely guilty of "crass hyper sexualisation".

2. Drag queens are something completely different and do, in some small ways and on rare occasions, offend me. But explaining that would be going into feminist stuff, and this isn't really the time or the place.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 25 Apr 2013, 18:01
Look at it this way, a couple of guys pretending to be ersatz space lesbians and sexing each other up on the internet and finding themselves getting off on the alternative gender roles are quite unlikely be marching around town centres with "death 2 queers" and "faggots burn In hell" placards come their weekend off.

In the grand scheme of things I think that's a more significant takeaway than concerns about fake space lesbians trespassing on the sacred aura of true space lesbians with their chintzy makeup, false lashes and exaggerated sultry walks. Homophobia kills people irl, however that curse is diminished has got to be worth considering in the light of pure pragmatic enlightened self interest.

I've seen this idea thrown around a lot in regard to this topic, but it's a fallacy. Let me say, hopefully without offending any parties reading that fit the bill and do it well, that I have met some absolutely unambiguously sexist and homophobically hateful individuals who play "lesbian" characters in MMORPGS.

For example, there was an individual who I knew on WoW, god knows how many years ago, who played a bisexual (but realistically, only interested in females) night elf. He was relatively open about the fact that OOCly, he found lesbians to be perverted and self-deluded deviants, but his philosophy was that if playing one is fun, hey, nothing wrong with that, right? With one hand he would make a carnally driven farce out of something I considered very serious, and with the other he'd contribute to an overall hostile environment for me, personally.

Portraying something in roleplay doesn't at all imply acceptance or even tolerance.

And for the record, it's not extremists who around "marching around town centers" and cracking peoples heads open that cause me the most grief in day to day life by a long shot. It's the far greater amount of people contributing in a thousand small ways to the subtle culture of disrespect and passive hatred. Of which the person described above is certainly one.

So you'll forgive me if I don't feel much in the way of "englightened self interest" in being completely cool with the stuff, especially when it's an instance that effects me on an individual level.

For that matter, what do the genuine lesbians in our audience make of real life trannies, transgendered and drag queens? Does the crass hyper sexualisation of feminine aspects on view offend sensibilities to a similar extent?

I'm not sure what to say about this that others haven't already than:

1. I find the comparison between someone who is playing a character on a video game that they get up and walk away from every night to someone who is commiting completely to fundementally changing their identity to correct something that brings them considerable personal misery to be a bit ludicrous, especially since they are very rarely guilty of "crass hyper sexualisation".



Your example wow player sounds like an absolutely horrible person. I wouldn't give him the time of day. I am sure there are some similarly horrid people who play eve, but I am not sure the existence of such people means that he average space lesbian is similarly motivated.

On your latter point, transvestites actually do tend to dress normally as men during the day and go out to clubs dressed as hypersexualised women at night. Believe me, I have known quite a few!

Perhaps is best to agree we set aside transgendered people from the earlier question and concentrate purely on transvestites for the sake of a less emotionally charged discussion?
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 25 Apr 2013, 18:07
What I mean to imply/pretty overtly state, above is that a person taking offence at two men roleplaying space lesbians in an online game because it cheapens their own rl identity as a genuine female lesbian in some way is not greatly different from the argument that a man dressing up as a woman for erotic purposes irl is somehow mocking the sacred sexuality of the female form.

Then you're speaking of transvestites (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transvestic_fetishism) and "shemales (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She-male)" and should make that clear, as saying "transgender" implies you're speaking of the entire transgender community, of which most of us happen to be transgendered for gender identity and not "sexual thrill".

You are right, I've edited the initial question to specifically address transvestites. Apologies for confusion caused.

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Gwen Ikiryo on 25 Apr 2013, 18:10
Your example wow player sounds like an absolutely horrible person. I wouldn't give him the time of day. I am sure there are some similarly horrid people who play eve, but I am not sure the existence of such people means that he average space lesbian is similarly motivated.

Oh, no, my intention wasn't to say that they were. But you were saying that you couldn't understand why I feel discomfort being associated with many of the men playing lesbian characters on the basis that they're overall harmless to me and doing me a favour, in a roundabout sense.

My point was, they're often not. Because of people like that.

On your latter point, transvestites actually do tend to dress normally as men during the day and go out to clubs dressed as hypersexualised women at night. Believe me, I have known quite a few!

Perhaps is best to agree we set aside transgendered people from the earlier question and concentrate purely on transvestites for the sake of a less emotionally charged discussion?

Like I said, my opinions about transvestites and drag queens are a bit complicated and very case-by-case based. Much like my opinion about this topic. It's something I'd rather not derail a thread on an roleplaying forum for a spaceship game over.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Arnulf Ogunkoya on 26 Apr 2013, 07:39
What I mean to imply/pretty overtly state, above is that a person taking offence at two men roleplaying space lesbians in an online game because it cheapens their own rl identity as a genuine female lesbian in some way is not greatly different from the argument that a man dressing up as a woman for erotic purposes irl is somehow mocking the sacred sexuality of the female form.

Then you're speaking of transvestites (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transvestic_fetishism) and "shemales (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She-male)" and should make that clear, as saying "transgender" implies you're speaking of the entire transgender community, of which most of us happen to be transgendered for gender identity and not "sexual thrill".

You are right, I've edited the initial question to specifically address transvestites. Apologies for confusion caused.

Incidentally Jade FYI. One transgendered person of my acquaintance uses the term trannie jokingly. However most that I have met regard it as in poor taste at best, and hate speech at worst. Just so you know for future reference.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 26 Apr 2013, 09:41
What I mean to imply/pretty overtly state, above is that a person taking offence at two men roleplaying space lesbians in an online game because it cheapens their own rl identity as a genuine female lesbian in some way is not greatly different from the argument that a man dressing up as a woman for erotic purposes irl is somehow mocking the sacred sexuality of the female form.

Then you're speaking of transvestites (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transvestic_fetishism) and "shemales (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She-male)" and should make that clear, as saying "transgender" implies you're speaking of the entire transgender community, of which most of us happen to be transgendered for gender identity and not "sexual thrill".

You are right, I've edited the initial question to specifically address transvestites. Apologies for confusion caused.

Incidentally Jade FYI. One transgendered person of my acquaintance uses the term trannie jokingly. However most that I have met regard it as in poor taste at best, and hate speech at worst. Just so you know for future reference.

People have different words that drive them nuts basically, I always feel like punching gamers that overuse the term "faggot" for example - but ultimately it comes down to cultural experience - people I've met around my home town wear the term trannie as a batch of countercultural pride alongside "queer, kink, perv" so as ever your mileage may vary. Most important not to assume that one's own experiences and peer preferences don't accidentally masquerade as universal censure - that would be silly.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Lyn Farel on 26 Apr 2013, 13:24
Look at it this way, a couple of guys pretending to be ersatz space lesbians and sexing each other up on the internet and finding themselves getting off on the alternative gender roles are quite unlikely be marching around town centres with "death 2 queers" and "faggots burn In hell" placards come their weekend off.

Actually, the opposite makes a lot of sense to me. Most of straight/macho males playing space lesbians and the likes just for the hypersexualisation of it, and the phantasm/nerdgasm that goes with it, do it for the object, not the persona.

It's a direct by-product of something I loath so much that it makes me cringe every time I think of it, which is the "objectification" of females, where females actually turn into sex objects. It's something really present in the lesbian /erotic syndrome in online gaming.

It's literally disgusting, not for the phantasm itself (people can do whatever they want between consenting adults), but for the deeper meaning behind it.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 26 Apr 2013, 17:01
Well guess its time to burn space lesbians at the stake then and force people to re-roll their female avatars or play proper respectable cross dressing hetro-sexualised archetypes in the future! (or would that be silly)


Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sofia Roseburn on 26 Apr 2013, 17:39
well guess its time to burn space lesbians at the stake then and force people to re-roll their female avatars or play proper hetro cross dressers in the future.

As someone that is roleplaying(?) a straight female I'm good though right?

Needs me some validation.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 26 Apr 2013, 17:41
well guess its time to burn space lesbians at the stake then and force people to re-roll their female avatars or play proper hetro cross dressers in the future.

As someone that is roleplaying(?) a straight female I'm good though right?

Needs me some validation.

Only if you have proper authorized "hetro" relations with male characters. (or women playing male characters I guess) :)

(or if you play a celibate amarrian space nun, those are fine too!)
 
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sofia Roseburn on 26 Apr 2013, 17:44
well guess its time to burn space lesbians at the stake then and force people to re-roll their female avatars or play proper hetro cross dressers in the future.

As someone that is roleplaying(?) a straight female I'm good though right?

Needs me some validation.

Only if you have proper "hetro" relations with men. (or women playing men I guess) :)

(or if you play a celibate amarrian space nun, those are fine too!)

Last time that happened was a couple of years ago and I cringe at how clunky it was. It'd be interesting to try it again.

Either way, let's not divert.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 26 Apr 2013, 17:56
well guess its time to burn space lesbians at the stake then and force people to re-roll their female avatars or play proper hetro cross dressers in the future.
That's a bit over-dramatic.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sofia Roseburn on 26 Apr 2013, 18:03
well guess its time to burn space lesbians at the stake then and force people to re-roll their female avatars or play proper hetro cross dressers in the future.
That's a bit over-dramatic.

Yeah, I totally agree. Just tie them to the stake and leave them till they renounce their wicked ways.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 26 Apr 2013, 18:11
well guess its time to burn space lesbians at the stake then and force people to re-roll their female avatars or play proper hetro cross dressers in the future.
That's a bit over-dramatic.

Yeah, I totally agree. Just tie them to the stake and leave them till they renounce their wicked ways.

Cold baths and electro shock therapy might work.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sofia Roseburn on 26 Apr 2013, 18:14
well guess its time to burn space lesbians at the stake then and force people to re-roll their female avatars or play proper hetro cross dressers in the future.
That's a bit over-dramatic.

Yeah, I totally agree. Just tie them to the stake and leave them till they renounce their wicked ways.

Cold baths and electro shock therapy might work.

The former is good for weight loss too I hear.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Makkal on 26 Apr 2013, 18:25
I find it a bit tacky to make jokes about killing and torturing lesbians in a thread where two posters have said they're lesbians.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Saede Riordan on 26 Apr 2013, 18:28
For that matter, what do the genuine lesbians in our audience make of real life trannies, transgendered and drag queens? Does the crass hyper sexualisation of feminine aspects on view offend sensibilities to a similar extent?

'Trannies?' Seriously?

Transwomen are women. They are not a 'crass hyper sexualization.' Some of them might be highly sexual but what a woman chooses to do with her body and who she does it with isn't comparable to men role-playing as lesbians online.

That leaves drag queens, and drag typically involves camp, not getting off.

You're kind of grasping at straws here.

There may be some linguistic confusion here. In the UK, the term trannie can be shorthand for transvestite as well as transsexual (both pre and post op) - perhaps what you would see as a drag queen would be the tamer children's panto version of transvestism that is quite innocent, but full transvestism amongst consenting adults certainly moves into the realms of erotic encounters and as you so delicately term it "getting off".


Here is a great article on why the term tranny is offensive. (http://www.autostraddle.com/on-body-snarking-with-the-word-trnny-168052/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%253A+Autostraddle+%2528Autostraddle%2529)

As to the question of crass hypersexualisation, both you and the poster above misread the question I actually asked by changing the quotes around to simulate an offensive allusion ... please don't do it. I specifically addressed the correlation between real lesbians being offended by fake online lesbians portraying sexuality in a crass manner, and real lesbians (of whom I have many amongst my friends in Brighton) perhaps being offended at the crass hypersexualisation of feminine aspects on view amongst transvestites attending bars and clubs around my home town (some of which also happen to be amongst my friends).

I wondered aloud if you would be as offended by a pair of men dressed as women flirting at a dance club irl as you might be by a pair of men playing sexualised female characters in an online game?


I really don't know what you mean by "men dressed as women" and there's a pretty large spectrum of ways that statement could be read, going from only mildly offensive to rather offensive. The fact of that matter is, that gender is never clear cut and I think its huge mistake to try to police gender expression in this manner. Would I be a bit bugged by a male cisgendered crossdresser flirting with me? Only if they were being duplicitous about it for some reason, but I have quite literally never experienced this, and most CDs I know are rather upfront about it. Are crossdressers not allowed to flirt or something?

The idea that a cisgendered male crossdresser is by default a 'crass hypersexualisation of feminine aspects' or that portraying femininity in a sexual manner by men is inherently negative seems rather bogus to me. Feminine gay men exist. Saying that only women can be feminine, or portray feminine sexuality puts certain ownership of a way of being, which I see as faintly sexist and gender essentialist at best and transmisogynist at worst.

The idea is... how does one even define gender? When is something considered "Acceptable" as a way of acting for one gender but not for the other? How is this not sexist? This happens all the time in the trans community, and its really annoying. The stereotypical "requirements" that trans people are held to are silly. Consider the expectations people seem to have of your average MtF trans person; most people hold these trans peoples to such a ridiculously strict stereotype that their own mother couldn't even remotely come close to meeting the expectations of. No "true" female, by their reckoning, would ever match their impossible definition of what it is to be a "woman", yet they hold a trans woman to do this impossible task of fitting in beyond realistic expectations.

I think that anyone attempting to define gender appropriate conduct for anyone else other themselves is sliding down a slippery slope to nowhere full of frustration, judgment and stress.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 26 Apr 2013, 18:37
I find it a bit tacky to make jokes about killing and torturing lesbians in a thread where two posters have said they're lesbians.

we're talking about space lesbians - you know those awful men that play female characters in spaceship games. Don't worry, nobody is suggesting it might be funny to torture real ones.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Shintoko Akahoshi on 26 Apr 2013, 18:41
See, you've got to make use of the shift key, to make it clear, Jade. "Space Lesbians", not space lesbians. Don't want to confuse Space Lesbians with lesbians in space...

Am I the only one who's reminded of this, suddenly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAZhtT-dUyo)?
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Saede Riordan on 26 Apr 2013, 18:45
Can we all just agree at least that "Space Lesbian" is an utterly stupid meme and we should work as a community to stop using it? Its crap. I understand the stereotypical bad roleplayer that you're attempting to call out with it, but there are better ways that don't marginalize all lesbian characters or make lesbian players feel uncomfortable about playing their own orientations.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 26 Apr 2013, 18:51
See, you've got to make use of the shift key, to make it clear, Jade. "Space Lesbians", not space lesbians. Don't want to confuse Space Lesbians with lesbians in space...

Am I the only one who's reminded of this, suddenly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAZhtT-dUyo)?
Sure sure, we're taking the piss out of
S P A C E  L E S B I A N S

Not SERIOUS SPACE LESBIANS OR LESBIANS IN SPACE which are quite different things... clearly.

Though I think I'd like another term to describe SPACE RELATIONSHIPS with men playing women and women playing pretend lesbians while actually both parts are kinda hetro though the chap is dressing up like a lady and the women pretends she doesn't know. Is there a word for that?

Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Jade Constantine on 26 Apr 2013, 18:52
Can we all just agree at least that "Space Lesbian" is an utterly stupid meme and we should work as a community to stop using it? Its crap. I understand the stereotypical bad roleplayer that you're attempting to call out with it, but there are better ways that don't marginalize all lesbian characters or make lesbian players feel uncomfortable about playing their own orientations.

On this you and I can certainly agree.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Sofia Roseburn on 26 Apr 2013, 18:54
See, you've got to make use of the shift key, to make it clear, Jade. "Space Lesbians", not space lesbians. Don't want to confuse Space Lesbians with lesbians in space...

Am I the only one who's reminded of this, suddenly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAZhtT-dUyo)?
Sure sure, we're taking the piss out of
S P A C E  L E S B I A N S

Not SERIOUS SPACE LESBIANS OR LESBIANS IN SPACE which are quite different things... clearly.

Though I think I'd like another term to describe SPACE RELATIONSHIPS with men playing women and women playing pretend lesbians while actually both parts are kinda hetro though the chap is dressing up like a lady and the women pretends she doesn't know. Is there a word for that?

Awkward.

e/ Oh god you marqueed it. Take me now.
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Saede Riordan on 26 Apr 2013, 18:55
See, you've got to make use of the shift key, to make it clear, Jade. "Space Lesbians", not space lesbians. Don't want to confuse Space Lesbians with lesbians in space...

Am I the only one who's reminded of this, suddenly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAZhtT-dUyo)?
Sure sure, we're taking the piss out of
S P A C E  L E S B I A N S

Not SERIOUS SPACE LESBIANS OR LESBIANS IN SPACE which are quite different things... clearly.

Though I think I'd like another term to describe SPACE RELATIONSHIPS with men playing women and women playing pretend lesbians while actually both parts are kinda hetro though the chap is dressing up like a lady and the women pretends she doesn't know. Is there a word for that?

Roleplay?
Title: Re: "Space Lesbians"
Post by: Silver Night on 27 Apr 2013, 22:19
[mod]I had originally just snipped a couple posts off of this thread, but reading back it pretty clearly went off the rails before that. Assigning motives to other posters and making assumptions about the validity of the RP is generally pretty off-limits. Locked.[/mod]