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Author Topic: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen  (Read 5264 times)

Jennifer Bizen

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My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« on: 22 Aug 2012, 10:57 »

The concept is a work in progress and here is what I got so far, and please regard it as ooc knowledge :3
---
Name/Alias: Jennifer Bizen.
Gender: Female
Ethnicity: Minmatar, assumed Sebiestor. Not confirmed.
D.O.B: Not registered. Assumed born in early Y90.
P.O.B: Not registered.
Home planet: Raised on Egbinger V, Molden Heath region.
Height: 1'66m.
Weight: 61kg.
Hair: Blonde, although frequently dyed in different colors.
Eyes: Blue.
Affiliation: None confirmed.
Distinguishing Features:
A small, oddly shaped birthmark, just under an inch in diameter at the back of her neck. Numerous tribal tattoos of both of Sebiestor and Vherokior origin, located at random- Arms, torso, back, legs and head. Piercings located in her tongue, lip, right brow, total of six in her ears, one in the left nipple and one in her navel. Three scars from gunshots at the right side of her lower stomach. Random scarring on her body that suggest a violent background.
---
Y90  -(late Y90) Found aboard "vessel" brought to Egbinger where she was left at an orphanage.
Y91  - Took her first unsupported steps.
Y92  - Adopted
Y93  -
Y94  -
Y95  - Began general education
Y96  -
Y97  -
Y98  -
Y99  -
Y100 - 
Y101 -
Y102 -
Y103 - First gunshot wound
Y104 - Finished general education.
Y105 -
Y106 - Joined a local gang.
Y107 - Second and third gunshot wound.
Y108 -
Y109 -
Y110 -
Y111 -
Y112 - Sponsored by an unknown benefactor for capsuleer training.
Y113 -
Y114 - Present
---
How I imagine this is that she was amongst survivors(not including her parents) on a ship that had been attacked and left drifting in space. This shipwreck is found by a random passer by, a salvager perhaps which(out of kindness of his/her heart? Promise of payment or whatever) takes the survivors to a planet, Egbinger V, a town or a city that I imagine to be something in the lines of Star War´s Mos Eisly- A poor or slums environment that would be popular by smugglers, pirates and various outlaws or criminals in general whilst still something of a part of Minmatar Republic and hence a harsh place to grow up in. At first she would be placed at an orphanage and later adopted.
For a color, I include in her timeline she finished her general education ahead of time and that she becomes a gangmember which puts her onto a path of violence as an example of headstrong, intelligent and tough-girl concept for her peronality.

As for her origin, I want to create something of a mystery to it. An orphan without a birth certificate, leaving her actual heritage to the benifit of the doubt and speculations.

---
I would welcome any criticism or suggestions! :3

/Jennifer Bizen
« Last Edit: 22 Aug 2012, 12:01 by Jennifer Bizen »
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Ken

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #1 on: 22 Aug 2012, 11:01 »

fwiw, could do with less rape
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Morwen Lagann

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #2 on: 22 Aug 2012, 11:14 »

fwiw, could do with less rape

Not just empty quoting.

If you want to go with it, it's your choice, but it's become overused to the point of being clichéd or even in trope territory. So if you do go with it, you're going to have to do a lot of work to portray it in a new or interesting way that doesn't result in, for lack of a better term, F7U12-inducing drama.

Looks good otherwise, though.
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Lagging Behind

Morwen's Law:
1) The number of capsuleer women who are bisexual is greater than the number who are lesbian.
2) Most of the former group appear lesbian due to a lack of suitable male partners to go around.
3) The lack of suitable male partners can be summed up in most cases thusly: interested, worth the air they breathe, available; pick two.

Jennifer Bizen

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #3 on: 22 Aug 2012, 11:23 »

I´m aware of rape a fair bit of cliché material for sexual orientation or the drama recipy for sympathetic interaction but its not my intentions to make it so.
The idea is to include it as to sculpt her personality as someone not easily broken. Instead of breaking down and crying, she would have had some sense of pride and not allowing herself to display her as being weak.
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Victoria Stecker

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #4 on: 22 Aug 2012, 11:32 »

Personally, I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole. Recall the shitstorm the developers ran into (whoever they are) when it was implied that Lara Craft would sexually assaulted in the new game and this leads to her being so tough later in life. It can come across as a trivialization of an event that is a bit too traumatic and effects way too many people.

If you were going to leave that in her character background, I would never mention it in public. Like, never ever ever even hint at it, so that no one knows IC. Too much potential for ugly and or stupid to occur.
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Kybernetes Moros

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #5 on: 22 Aug 2012, 11:35 »

The theme is one hell of a cliché in EVE, and I've never seen it done without inciting large amounts of drama. To toy around with it is considered in poor taste by a large number, too. "Oh, I need to make a Strong Woman. BEST HAVE HER RAPED TO CAUSE IT." is how it has come across, historically. Stecker pointed out the trauma of the event; throwing it in casually for a personality point isn't something that's particularly pleasant to see.
« Last Edit: 22 Aug 2012, 11:36 by Kybernetes Moros »
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Esna Pitoojee

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #6 on: 22 Aug 2012, 11:35 »

My two cents on the whole rape thing:

If you leave it in, don't make a big deal out of it. If Jennifer doesn't spill it to everyone who she talks to, it will be a lot less cliche-ish - it should be one facet in her backstory, not the sum or focal point of her backstory.

EDIT: Welp, Victoria (and Kyber) got there first. Same idea, though.

On all the rest, looks like a good start! Will be interesting to talk to her IC.
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I like the implications of Gallentians being punched in the face by walking up to a Minmatar as they so freely use another person's culture as a fad.

Jennifer Bizen

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #7 on: 22 Aug 2012, 11:46 »

If you were going to leave that in her character background, I would never mention it in public. Like, never ever ever even hint at it, so that no one knows IC. Too much potential for ugly and or stupid to occur.

I don´t want it had as public knowledge and hadn´t plan on bringin it up in IC either, in any form and exactly for those reasons. So, perhaps it might as well be for the best to leave it out of even OOC knowledge as well?
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Morwen Lagann

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #8 on: 22 Aug 2012, 11:54 »

If you were going to leave that in her character background, I would never mention it in public. Like, never ever ever even hint at it, so that no one knows IC. Too much potential for ugly and or stupid to occur.

I don´t want it had as public knowledge and hadn´t plan on bringin it up in IC either, in any form and exactly for those reasons. So, perhaps it might as well be for the best to leave it out of even OOC knowledge as well?

It's a safe bet. I'd certainly keep it out of the ingame bio. If you planned on writing stories or doing a blog, it wouldn't be bad to maybe touch upon it in the writing but I would not consider it a good idea to put it somewhere right out in the open in the first place people will look to find information on the character.
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Lagging Behind

Morwen's Law:
1) The number of capsuleer women who are bisexual is greater than the number who are lesbian.
2) Most of the former group appear lesbian due to a lack of suitable male partners to go around.
3) The lack of suitable male partners can be summed up in most cases thusly: interested, worth the air they breathe, available; pick two.

Inara Subaka

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #9 on: 22 Aug 2012, 12:04 »

Welcome, and I look forward to seeing Jennifer interacting with people.

I've always been a fan of the 'hard history' that creates a character that was forced to be strong (orphans, street rats, etc..). Lots of room for change and malleability in their future, especially going from that life to the "demi-god" status that Capsuleers have going on with their every need/desire catered to on a whim.
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Ghost Hunter

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #10 on: 22 Aug 2012, 12:12 »

I would recommend keeping a complete list of how you originally envision her character privately, and then creating a list of public hooks. This allows a lot of artistic flexibility, because as the character starts interacting in environments they may change from how you originally planned. You won't have to deal with the trouble of undoing or changing any of their core values once they've been publicly declared.

This also has the handy side affect of rewarding people for interacting with the character, by uncovering their inner nature and not being handed it out at the gate. Your mileage may vary.
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Red

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #11 on: 22 Aug 2012, 12:44 »

I kind of really love how her gunshot wounds are marked as milestones in her history. I find that sort of darkly humorous >.>

Also, I hope you don't mind if I steal your timeline formatting for Red's profile -- it's very neat and tidy, and makes a stupid amount of sense for a visual thinker such as myself :3
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Jennifer Bizen

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #12 on: 22 Aug 2012, 12:47 »

Thank you for the recommendation, Ghost Hunter. Think I might just do so.

I edited the "rape" part out as it was not meant to be a focal point in Jennifer´s history or concept wether it will be included or not. Nor the sole source to criticise about  :bash:
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Jennifer Bizen

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #13 on: 22 Aug 2012, 12:49 »

I kind of really love how her gunshot wounds are marked as milestones in her history. I find that sort of darkly humorous >.>

Also, I hope you don't mind if I steal your timeline formatting for Red's profile -- it's very neat and tidy, and makes a stupid amount of sense for a visual thinker such as myself :3

Go right ahead ^^
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Esna Pitoojee

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Re: My concept and ideas for Jennifer Bizen
« Reply #14 on: 22 Aug 2012, 12:54 »

Sorry if it felt like we were hopping all over you for that one little thing.

I guess the thing is, we've seen situations where even when someone introduced something like that in their backstory, even if they handled it perfectly, someone else would turn around and make a mess of it. It was as much hoping not to leave you to fall into that kind of situation than anything else.
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I like the implications of Gallentians being punched in the face by walking up to a Minmatar as they so freely use another person's culture as a fad.
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