I was thinking about how to answer this, and I came up with such a huge list it startled me. This isn't even the entire list.
In no particular order:
I started playing EVE while deeply depressed. I loved it for its depth and immersion and ability to make me forget about how rotten I felt all day, every day. Unfortunately, this meant that I created characters while deeply depressed, and then had to find ways to keep playing them when I recovered from that depression, even though I didn't really enjoy them anymore. This lead to me dropping one or two of them and significantly altering the ones I kept. Being depressed also impacted the way I played the characters and the reputation I developed - I'd like to think that I managed to fix some of that but there's an extent to which reputations never die - particularly bad ones. I felt like this limited my options when I was finally (mostly) healthy again.
I struggled a lot creating
interesting appealing male characters. I'm very good at making deep, complex characters that don't do a good enough job attracting initial interest for anyone to notice. The result was simply that despite how much depth there might have been to the characters, few of the male ones ever attracted anyone interested in RP. This caused Stecker to become my de facto main - she was the only character that I could reliably RP with. The others would once in a while get a good discussion in here or there, but I felt much more like I had to force them upon someone, finding ways to provoke others into RPing with them because otherwise they'd be ignored. Stecker, on the other hand, could attract RP.
The first incarnation of Stecker was terrible. Once I came to this realization, I had to beat it with a hammer to get it into something borderline acceptable within the PF. Did my best to keep the core and some interesting concepts, but had to wipe out a lot of it.
I was pretty much incapable of being happy with one character. I wanted to play different people and experience different things. I think i could have gotten by with just one character if it were possible to bring out and play with all of the complexities. But that never seemed to happen, so I ended up with a bunch of characters that were different on the surface because I couldn't ever get past the surface of any of them. The result was 3-5 distinct RP characters which I was attached to - I didn't want to let any of them go until I finally had to give them all up and quit.
Unlike many people, I actually had no problem with the fast moving RP channels - I type fast, and my ADD-addled mind loved keeping up with three different conversations at once, participating in one (or two, depending on alts). This, in turn, led to some EPIC ALT-FAILS. Flirting with someone on Stecker, tab to alt, forget to tab back, continue flirting with male character in a manner that makes the alt-fail really blatantly obvious. fml.
I have no direction.
Nothing in the EVE lore has grabbed onto me for a while, and so I wander aimlessly throughout New Eden, not really understanding why I'm still there.
That being said, EVE is the one place a player can build something lasting (Looking at you PIE), I just don't know what to build.
And this was essentially where it ended. I loved EVE for the possibility of building something, but despite various attempts I could never manage it. The closest I came to success involved running a small alt corp and a POS in particular - fuck that shit. So after enough failed attempts, I found myself with nothing to do, entirely aimless, logging in just to update skills and RP a little and be discouraged. So I stopped.
@ Aldrith: I fucking laughed. Thanks.
These days Stuff™ is happening that makes me ponder rejoining, but then I realize how much fun I'm having with games that aren't charging me a subscription fee every month and I stick to those games. I could never find a reliable way to make enough isk to pay for plex - particularly given my desire to run 3+ accounts.
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Topic: What bothers you about your own roleplay? (Read 6931 times)