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Achura prehistory Fanfiction: Act 1

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ExecutorElassus:
Hi Backstage,

attached here is the first chapter (replies will have subsequent ones) of a long-form fanfic I'm writing. At present I have the first three and an interlude complete, comprising about 20% of the total. If you're wondering how exactly this is supposed to be an EVE fanfic, please also see my short-story submission to last year's Pod & Planet, which you can find here: https://forums.eveonline.com/t/pod-planet-contest-submission-watcher-of-relics/31908

I'd like some help reading over the story I've attached, constructive criticism, checking for consistency (both internally and lore-wise), criticism of pacing, writing style, dialogue, etc. etc. My eventual goal is to have this as a full-length story, and to try to get it published in some manner. So if you like it, and want to see more of it, please let me know that as well.

As usual, please feel free to share it with others you think might be interested, with the usual caveats about proper attribution, etc.

Hope you enjoy, and thanks in advance for the help.

Cheers,

Elassus Herron
(sorry the files are broken up. Size limits, etc)

ExecutorElassus:
Chapter 2 attached

ExecutorElassus:
Chapter 3 and an interlude

ExecutorElassus:
Update: moved around a bit of the interlude from the previous post, putting it at the end of the (new!) Chapter 4, and adding the part divider for the next section, currently being written. Enjoy!

ExecutorElassus:
Update! Here's Chapter 5: a different scene!

As always, comments and (constructive!) criticism is welcome. Enjoy.

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