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The Tyranny of Queen Synthia

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Synthia:
Meanwhile in Kaztropolis

"Sir ! Take a look at this"
"What is it ?"
"It's a picture from one of our outposts on the perimeter of the Formic Neutral Zone"
"On screen"



"Bring up the co-ordinates... oh good Lord. They're in violation of the Treaty. Get the Director on the line."

"Yes, Director. Sector 6-G. Is that somewhere the Queen might visit in the next two days ? Oh, it's not ? That's a relief. Yes, we can handle this. I'll dispatch a sweeper right away."

Synthia:
Synthia Encounters A Difficult Problem

"Zara, it is time to get Dressed for School."
"Noooooooo!"
"Yes."
"Nooooooo! It's not fair !"
"Zara, Come on, get dressed for school."
"I don't want to !"
"You have to Get Dressed, Zara. The holidays are Over."
"Noooooo. I don't want to go back to school."
"Zara. I do not make the Rules. You have to get Dressed."
"You're the Empress, mummy. You do make the rules."
"I. Hmm. I shall Return Shortly."

Synthia:
The Compulsory Goat

"The Minister for Agriculture has arrived, Majesty"
"Excellent."

"Minister, I have been Studying the Economy of Kaztropol, and have Decided that it would be Beneficial for each Household to be issued with a Goat, in order to promote Economic Growth and Social Equality."
"Ah, very good, your Majesty. Where would all these goats be accommodated ?"
"The Common Land outside the City can be used as Pasture. Households lacking Space to keep a Goat on their own property may use the Pasture."
"Ah, I see. A profound initiative, ma'am"

A short time later...

"What in the blazes is this ?"
"The Queen has issued you with a goat, your Lordship."
"Did I ask for one ? What am I supposed to do with a goat ?"
"It came with a leaflet, sir"


--- Quote ---Dear Goat Owner
You have been Issued with this Goat as part of the Compulsory Goat Program, to promote Economic Growth and Social Equality.
This Goat is registered to You, entitling you to a Fair Revenue from Goat milk and other Goat-derived Products from the Kaztropol Goat Industry.
If your Household lacks Space to accommodate a Goat, you may use the Common Land to keep your Goat.
Look After your Goat, and it will Look after You.

Queen Synthia.
--- End quote ---

"Put the goat in the garden then. And bring me the haircare products catalogue. I expect my wife will wish to style the creature's hair. I want to know how much this is going to cost me."
"Very good, your Lordship."

Some time later...

"Here are the reports, Majesty"
"I See. Hmm. Goat Racing appears to have caused a boom in the Gambling Industry. And the Haircare and Grooming Products industry has experienced Growth from Owners using products on their Goats. Interesting."
"Quite the success, ma'am"
"Indeed"

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