Whatever you decide to do, you need something outside of yourself to live for. If you live for yourself, you have little to look forward to besides death, so there is no reason not to simply experience as much pleasure as possible right now, since death is possible at any time. If you have something to live for, a cause, ideal, or person outside yourself, you will strive for that thing so that your efforts will continue to have meaning and effect beyond your death. If you live for yourself, internal drive and motivation is often lacking. If you live for something or someone outside yourself, that goal will push you beyond what is comfortable or easy for you. It will make you a better person, and, in addition, equip you for life's other challenges.
I can only speak from personal experience, of course. I am a Christian, and I have found my faith to be the most powerful driving force in my life. It has caused me to devote much intellectual effort towards the idea of how best to improve the condition of my fellow man, as well as driving my physical efforts towards the creation of wealth that might therefore be used to provide both jobs and charity for others. As a Christian, I of course recommend it to others. Yet, I acknowledge that much good has been done by those who believe differently than I do. I also acknowledge that caution must be taken in whole-hearted dedication to a cause, but that is another discussion entirely. The fact is that, for whatever reason, we cannot fulfill ourselves through simple self-gratification and hedonism.
Now, as to your parents. I grew up with an abusive mother. I won't go into it much, save to say that it was quite bad, especially later on. I realize that parents can have a powerful effect on children, but I caution you to remember that it does not define you. We cannot choose all of the circumstances we find ourselves in, but our life and character is defined not by those things that happen to us, but how we respond to them. Meaninglessness in our lives is easily attained through simple acceptance of our helplessness. Meaning originates from our determination to have it. To quote the Bible, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Therefore, whatever your dad has done will change you, but you determine what that change will be. Will you be a failure who was forever scarred by abandonment, or a success that triumphed over it?
The fact that my mother tried to destroy me as a person means to me simply that I have someone to prove wrong, a challenge to become greater than. To me, now, she seems more a nuisance than a threat. Do the old wounds still hurt? Yes. But I am proud that I was able to triumph over them. Not arrogant, mind you, but happy. We are what we choose to be.
Author
Topic: Life Need Advise (Read 2800 times)